SUMMARY KEYWORDS

drinking, alcohol, people, January, friends, dry, feel, day, life, night, sober, Coach, hungover, sobriety, realize, long, week, thought, year, wrote

SPEAKERS: Casey McGuire Davidson + Hilary Sheinbaum

00:02

Welcome to the Hello Someday Podcast, the podcast for busy women who are ready to drink less and live more. I’m Casey McGuire Davidson, ex-red wine girl turned life coach helping women create lives they love without alcohol. But it wasn’t that long ago that I was anxious, overwhelmed, and drinking a bottle of wine and night to unwind. I thought that wine was the glue, holding my life together, helping me cope with my kids, my stressful job and my busy life. I didn’t realize that my love affair with drinking was making me more anxious and less able to manage my responsibilities.

In this podcast, my goal is to teach you the tried and true secrets of creating and living a life you don’t want to escape from.

Each week, I’ll bring you tools, lessons and conversations to help you drink less and live more. I’ll teach you how to navigate our drinking obsessed culture without a bus, how to sit with your emotions, when you’re lonely or angry, frustrated or overwhelmed, how to self soothe without a drink, and how to turn the decision to stop drinking from your worst case scenario to the best decision of your life.

I am so glad you’re here. Now let’s get started.

Hi there. Today we’re going to talk about dry January, and I’ve got the most amazing guest to walk you through it. Hilary Sheinbaum has been a dry January participant and advocate since 2017. As a reporter, she’s covered topics ranging from wellness treatments to celebrity red carpets, to Chef interviews, cocktail trends, and new fitness classes as well as beauty treatments and wedding styles. She’s also written quite a bit about navigating life without alcohol, from the dating world to restaurants and other things. Her trend pieces and profile pieces have appeared in The New York Times USA Today, Mary, Claire and more. And she’s been featured as an entertainment and lifestyle expert on Good Morning America and other outlets. But today we’re here to talk about her work and her book, the dry challenge. And so, I’ll let her tell you about her book. But Hillary, welcome to the show.

02:26

Thank you. Thank you so much for having me. I’m very excited.

Casey McGuire Davidson  02:31

Yeah, I’m excited to be here. And I actually I read a couple of your articles that were in the New York Times and loved them and reached out to you because you wrote a whole book on a dry challenge and how to navigate 30 days alcohol free with a lot of really super helpful tips and tricks. And so, I thought you’d be a great person. Lot of my listeners come into January and are like, Okay, it’s time. I’m ready to not drink. I’m ready to stop drinking to take a break. And dry January is really a big thing nowadays, right? I mean, it’s in the vernacular, people know about it in culture.

03:13

Absolutely. And it has certainly grown over the past couple of years. And I think it’s only going to grow more and more as we continue. So, it’s a very exciting time for people who are opting to you know, give up alcohol for January and maybe and or other dry months. So very exciting time.

Casey McGuire Davidson  03:32

Yeah, well, so tell us what sparked the idea for the dry challenge.

03:37

Yeah, it’s actually a really funny slash silly story. And to be completely honest, it was unintentional. My first ride January began because of a silly bet that I made with one of my very close guy friends, and it was on a whim. So, to give you a little bit of background, as you have mentioned, I used to be a red carpet reporter. And around the time, which was 2016, I was doing red carpet going to these amazing, you know, Hollywood premieres and other events and certainly attending after parties that had top shelf liquor and very fancy champagne. And, you know, I wasn’t necessarily drinking on the job or drinking every night, but it wasn’t discouraged. You know, you could definitely have a drink or two while you were at an event. So, I was doing that on a regular basis at night. I was also writing about food and beverage during the day, which involves sampling beers and wine, spirits, cocktails, you know, chatting with bartenders, and other mixologists and, you know, being a 20 something in New York City. The culture is definitely geared toward alcohol related activities, whether you’re going on dates, whether you are celebrating a friend’s birthday, he Even if you’re going to have a calm day in the park, typically people will bring a bottle of wine. So, as you can imagine, you know, I, again, was not drinking every day necessarily, but certainly alcohol was my social life and for my workplace dating life. So, you know, when I did have this random dinner with my friend, as we were nearing 2017, we were just catching up. And he brought up the topic of New Year’s resolutions, and the subject of dry January came about I thought at the time that it was not something I would ever be able to complete, because, you know, then I was so involved with red carpets and, and writing about booze. And definitely, you know, just having fun too. So, what’s involved alcohol at the time. So, you know, we dropped the subject. And a week later on New Year’s Eve with a glass of champagne, and one hand and my phone and the other. I was wishing people Happy New Years, and I just decided to text my friend Alejandro and initiate a dry January bet. And he agreed. And so, at the stroke of midnight, I put down my glass and, and that was it, I was I had officially started my first dry January at the beginning of 2017.

Casey McGuire Davidson  06:27

That is very cool. I love that. And when you were talking about sort of your red carpet, job and life, you are taking me back because one of my most fun jobs I ever had was I was at this photography company, editorial photography, and video, Getty Images. And I was their Director of Product Marketing globally for entertainment. So, I got to go to Fashion Week and Toronto Film Festival and San Sundance Film Festival and have to say that I drank way more than I probably could have also cuz I love to drink. But, you know, the events were lovely and got fuzzy and I was pretty ill the next day.

07:08

Yeah, which was not always never fun, right? Like, nobody likes the hangover. But at the time, right? Like, it’s so exciting to be there and be in the moment and imbibe when you are kind of it’s part of the culture, it’s part of the event. And as a participant, and as somebody who is, you know, not just attending but also work. It’s almost your job to kind of blend in right, like to be a part of it.

Casey McGuire Davidson  07:39

Yeah. And I have to say, you know, I was nervous. And so, I drank because you’re gonna you’re around these celebrities and photographers and you want to fit in, although, and I don’t know if I should tell this story, although what the hell, right? I’ve told all the other ones. I was like 27 years old. And I was in our LA office, and I was doing customer research. So, we were going to visit extra TV and Entertainment Tonight. And all these big clients. And of course, I’d been in LA I went out drinking the night before, and I was throwing up in our office bathroom, trying to do it really, really quietly before I got in my director of photography, his car to go visit clients. And like, I was so worried I get carsick anyway, but I was hungover, and I was just like, this is a fucking nightmare. I was sweating. So, like, as quote unquote, glamorous as it is. I’m just like, that was bad call.

08:40

It’s really rough. I think like, you know, part of that job. And I could talk about the red carpet stuff and that job, alcohol for literal days. But it’s interesting to see, like, kind of peel back the curtain right about what people think is it’s super easy. And it’s fun sometimes. And but it is work. And there are a lot of things that that happen that maybe are not as glamorous as one would think.

Casey McGuire Davidson  09:11

Yeah, well, so let’s jump in. Because one of the things I love about your book is that you really go through the sort of blocking and tackling and the details of like, how to do a dry January and I am a super practical girl. So, when I was looking through this, you have a chapter on how it started and on the mental and physical benefits, but then really like how to talk to your friends’ groups, how to track what you’re feeling, ideas of other things to do. And so, I think that’s super helpful because a lot of people they’re like, yes, I want to take a break from alcohol, or I feel like shit, or I want to do a health kick. But like, how do I even start, you know, right?

09:57

Like, what is the funnel Step Four any step, right? Because I think that when you approach any kind of challenge, or you meet or idea, it can be very overwhelming. There are so many routes or so many different ideas about how things should be done. And everybody definitely has their own way of doing things. I certainly did. But I think that, you know, just having kind of like, an idea of like, where to start or like to even to ease into it, because you’re… definitely alcohol. But to really, just like, have a practical way of doing it, I think, is really important.

Casey McGuire Davidson  10:36

Yeah. Well, so tell us about some of the mental and the physical benefits of not drinking.

10:43

Yeah, there are so many I can tell you personally, one major, I would say both physical and mental benefit that I experienced, was the amount of sleep that I was getting. Before my dry challenge was abominable. And I mean, like, we’re talking four to five hours a night where I would go to bed, and I would wake up at like, four in the morning, or like, five in the morning, I just like, would not be able to go back to sleep. And it wasn’t just like, oh, no, this happens once every now and then it was like every night very consistent, or at least you know, every other night. And I would feel anxious. And obviously I would feel overtired, my thoughts would be racing. But when I gave up alcohol, that, especially that first year, it was very, very clear to me how much drinking was affecting my sleeping, and my sleeping patterns. So, you know, pretty early on I was, I was sleeping through the night, first of all, and I’m sleeping like seven to eight hours, which is like a marathon compared to what I was doing before. And everyone knows that when you have really poor quality sleep, or just like one bad night, it can really wreck your day can wreck your mood, you feel just like off and down. And that in itself was a complete, you know, one ad for me because I felt calmer, more well rested, more put together, less rushed, less anxious. I had a lot of better mental clarity, which I think also, you know, just in general is a big plus when you eliminate alcohol from your diet. And so that alone was just mind blowing to me, because I thought it had nothing to do with alcohol. And I still to this day when my friends are telling me like, Oh, I’m trusting that sleeping I said, Did you drink? Yeah. Oh, yeah, but I drank like two days ago, but you drink within the past week. You know, because sleep cycles like it anyway, I’m not gonna get into the science of it. But basically, long story short, like, I really thought that my fast paced life and my career and the stress that was coming from, you know, being a freelance writer and all the work related things were what was, you know, making me not sleep. And when I took out alcohol, it was clear that that was a major component.

Casey McGuire Davidson  13:10

Yeah, that’s what I thought too. I was like, Oh, I don’t sleep because my job is so stressful. And then you get rid of the outcome, you’re like, oh, or it’s the outcome.

13:20

Yeah, and, you know, just because you give up, I mean, that your life stresses will go away, doesn’t mean that necessarily your sleep is going to, you know, be magical every single night. But I will say that it is an amazing first step to, you know, getting more shy and just feeling clear headed in general and feeling more relaxed, because alcohol is just not good for anxiety, though. So yeah, so that, so those are a few, I will say, also, for people, you know, to love beauty products, and are really focused on our skincare, I’m such a skincare nerd. You know, alcohol is terrible for your skin. You know, if you’re one of those people who’s concerned about fine lines and wrinkles, I mean, a great first step would also be to eliminate alcohol from your diet. So, you know, there are internal and external factors. And, and certainly, I mean, I think, you know, dry January happens to be, you know, part of the new year when people start making these resolutions, and often it is to be healthier. And I think just, you know, instead of having that general idea of like, what help is right, that could be your diet, it could be exercise, that could be your mental health. I think focusing on one part of that, which is removing party of the month can just do wonders. So, yeah.

Casey McGuire Davidson  14:42

Yeah, I totally agree with you on that. And, you know, you mentioned getting so much better sleep, and I noticed that too. And one of the things I think people struggle with if they are sort of like, if they go to bed early, they feel lame, right? I mean, or boring or Ford, and, you know, women I know and work with feel that way at the age of 40, when they have two little kids, so tell me being in your 20s? Like, how did you deal with that? Or was it an issue for you at all?

15:12

First of all, I would love to go to bed early every night. I’m, I’m just a morning person in general now, but as a former night owl, I will say that, just because I wasn’t drinking didn’t mean I was not having fun, I was having more fun, like, I, you know, would have alternative beverages like I would, you know, have these nonalcoholic cocktail or, you know, some other, you know, beverage that was obviously alcohol free, but I’m still going to bars, like, I’m still seeing my friends and are still socializing. And I think that, especially in those moments, like, if I was at a bar, and you know, my friends or acquaintances were inebriated, and I felt uncomfortable, it was kind of like, oh, like, that’s a red flag, like, I should go home because this is not fun. And, and that also made me realize that, like, if I did decide to stay home another night, or do something else, or, you know, I had plans early in the morning, the next day, like, I didn’t want to be out because I was not on that level. And it wasn’t. There is this fear of missing out. But I think that it is kind of like, almost what’s the word, it’s like, the fear of missing out is, like, over exaggerated almost Yeah. Because you’re not going to want to be there. If you are there is my is my boy, like, you can have as much with your friends. And then you know, there’s a turning point in the night, you say goodbye. Or, like, my biggest kick in that case would be to take the social reigns in your friend group and plan something that is not alcohol centric. So, like, plan a workout with your friends, you know, plan, a highly planning yoga class plan. If you’re into knitting, like, do whatever it is that makes you happy, that does not involve alcohol and get people involved because like, I think that, you know, socializing around booze is checked as a staple in this country and others. But I think that like there are so many opportunities.

Casey McGuire Davidson  17:20

Yeah, I think you’re totally right. And I love that you said that, because a lot of people who tend to drink a lot, myself included, tend to be sort of the social organizers, right? And part of it is we’re really good at organizing wine tastings and dinner parties and get togethers. But you can use that skill to organize so many cool activities that are not centered around alcohol and get your friends on board. So, one of the things that that one of my clients suggested, but it’s kind of fun is she’s like, go on Groupon. They’re like the weirdest, coolest things that you can get for Groupon like aerial yoga, or like gymnastics or you know, a trapeze. I think I for some reason I’m on this like, aerial thing, which is hysterical, because it’s not me, but there are so many things you haven’t thought of that actually would be really fun. And you know, if other people are doing dry January two, that’s awesome. Or like, go on a hike with your friends all day or go sledding and then have hot chocolate, like some of that fits in really well.

18:32

Totally. And like, it’s so interesting to hear him say like, that’s not me, because like, if you think about it, if you’re going out at night, you’re not going to want to swing upside down the next day, or if you’re hungover if you’ve been drinking, but like, look how much like that has opened a door for you. You can go and do that. And I think that people often think like, not drinking like that’s not me, but like there are so many activities and like you have all this time now to work and I say this often is like I think dry January is the best time to explore new activities to catch up on things that you’ve been putting off. And to also like, you know, try those nonalcoholic beverages that you may have not you know, considered in the past. So, yeah, please send everyone a video of you doing the trapeze.

Casey McGuire Davidson  19:20

I mean, the reason the reason I said that’s not me is because you know, I used to have to do these like rope courses for team bonding on like corporate excursions like the guy always like or I was like oh fuck don’t make us go on another like Team body activity. But I went on these rope courses way up high and did not realize I was scared of heights until my legs started shaking. Oh my god, like it was a physical reaction, not a mental one. So, I was like, who am I kidding? I’ve never fucking do a to trap here team because I wouldn’t be terrified up there. But other things I’ll do other things.

19:58

Yeah, I’m gonna say I just trapeze like, I mean, I, I don’t want a fear of heights, I definitely have a fear of like falling from heights if I’m not like in something Oh, I don’t think you know, natural to like, jump off the building or anything. So, my point being though I try trapeze and I actually really enjoyed it. I think, you know, it’s the baby’s a fury conquer. Obviously, it’s not for you, it’s not for you. Just saying like, Alright,

Casey McGuire Davidson  20:25

I’ll see. I’ll see if that’s on my list for January and I’ll report back if I end up do

20:30

I mean, no, maybe you can just swing you don’t have to like, let go of it, you know, yeah.

Casey McGuire Davidson  20:38

If you’re listening to this episode and have been trying to take a break from drinking, but keep starting and stopping and starting again, I want to invite you to take a look at my on demand coaching course, The Sobriety Starter Kit. The Sobriety Starter Kit is an online self study, sober coaching course that will help you quit drinking and build a life you love without alcohol without white knuckling it or hating the process. The course includes the exact step-by-step coaching framework I work through with my private coaching clients, but at a much more affordable price than one-on-one coaching. And The Sobriety Starter Kit is ready, waiting and available to support you anytime you need it, when it fits into your schedule.  You don’t need to work your life around group meetings or classes at a specific day or time. This course is not a 30 day challenge, or a one day at a time approach. Instead, it’s a step-by-step formula for changing your relationship with alcohol. The course will help you turn the decision to stop drinking from your worst case scenario to the best decision of your life. You will sleep better and have more energy, you’ll look better and feel better, you’ll have more patience and less anxiety. And with my approach you won’t feel deprived or isolated in the process. So if you’re interested in learning more about all the details, please go to www.sobrietystarterkit.com. You can start at any time and I would love to see you in the course.

Well, so one of the things that you have in your book, and you talk about his ideas on how to talk to your friend group. So, what do you suggest in that area?

22:50

Um, I think there are a few approaches, and I’ve done many of them depending on who I’m speaking to. So, for example, you know, the first year that I did, right, January, I have this set going with Alejandro and the quote unquote, winner of the bet was going to receive a meal paid for by the person who did not succeed. And it was open to any restaurant in New York City, which as you can imagine, gets very, very expensive. So, we were not kidding around. And I think that, you know, depending on if people knew Alexandro in my friend group, I would tell them, I cannot lose this bet, like has to stick it out. He has to lose. And it became like, a funny thing that they couldn’t get behind. And so yeah, and same with him too, I think. But, you know, on day two, I would tell people like I have this crazy bet and gotten guys thought it was, you know, great. They thought it was hilarious. They were like, of course, like stick it to him like you got I think that you know, there were other people maybe that we weren’t engaged in a long conversation, or they tried to hand me a drink. And I was like, No, thank you. And depending on you know how much I wanted to interact with them. I would say like, listen, like not drinking right now. We’re not drinking this month and not drinking this week, or, you know, I’m doing a dry January and then people would, you know, ask what that was. And I would explain to them, I think, you know, especially that first year, I didn’t have a y Right? Like I didn’t set out with an intention because I didn’t plan to do it until literally like the last minute. And when people would say like, Well, why are you doing that? Like, I couldn’t say like it was for my health, or it was, you know, whatever it was assess them. Like, I just want to see what happened because I was actually very curious. I don’t think that there had been a 30 day period of time. And this is obviously very eye opening that I hadn’t consumed alcohol maybe since you know, I mean, I didn’t drink a lot in college, so maybe that was it. So, but when you think about like, oh, there hasn’t been a month long where I haven’t had a sip of alcohol in the past like five years that could be kind of over whelming and ultimately, you know, I know your question was about like how to respond, I think that you can just respond. Comfortable, you can be upfront and honest and say like, this is what I’m doing and this for XYZ to say like, and I’m not drinking tonight or getting up early tomorrow, or like my answer them, like, whatever, like, I’m never like somebody random at a bar who give me a hard time walk away.

 

Casey McGuire Davidson  25:23

And the cool thing about dry January is, it’s actually a thing, like, they’ll write about it in The New York Times you see articles about it in SELF magazine, like, you can just be like, Oh, I’m doing dry January, or me and some of my friends are doing dry January, right. And if they don’t know what it is, like you said, you can. You can tell them about it.

 

25:43

You can educate them, it’s, it’s so amazing. Now, how much coverage, you know, how many people participate? And I think that, to your point, I think that people are more aware of what this you know, dry month is and why people do it. And, and that sort of thing, especially coming off the holidays. But I think, you know, when I initially was doing this, in popular, and I think also you can see the differences and the way that people are treating, you know, the sober, curious movement or sobriety and how it shifted because back in the day, you know, you couldn’t go to a bar and order a non-alcoholic beer or a non-alcoholic cocktail. Without like, Oh, can you mix X Y & Z together and asking the bartender for that and now not everywhere, but in a lot of large cities. You look at the cocktail menu and right next to it is the non-alcoholic beverage section. And I don’t mean like Diet Coke. I mean, like, you know, a fully executed menu that tastes good and isn’t like a surely temple. Or like a Virgin Pina Colada. So, I think it’s come a long way. And I think it still has the way to go. But like I said, I think it’s a really exciting time now, because there are so many people who are, are more interested about, you know, not drinking for whatever reason.

Casey McGuire Davidson  27:08

Yeah. And with new year’s resolutions, especially after the boozy holidays, like most people get it without even questioning it, right? Like, oh, yeah, I’m doing this health kick to or whatever it is. But we mentioned you could explain what dry January is, and I realized we didn’t actually explain it. So please, tell us what it is how it originated.

27:33

Yeah, so dry January is the act of giving up all forms of alcohol for the entirety of the first month of the year. So that means no beer, no spirits, no wine, tails, no sips of champagne, nothing for 31 days. And dry January, originated in the UK, it was actually the brainchild of this woman named Emily Ross Robinson. And she kind of accidentally started it too, because her mission was to, you know, get better and, and basically achieve a personal record for a half marathon that was trying because she was training for and while doing so in order to, you know, cut down her time while running, and, you know, be healthier and train for her race, she decided to give up alcohol. And it happened to be in the month of January because her race was in February. So, she did it. And she felt great. She keeps her goal. And she told all of her colleagues about it. And at the time, she was looking for a charity organization in the UK that you know, has, has dealt with, you know, eliminating substances and substance abuse. And the organization decided to make it into a full blown campaign the next year. And so, you know, over the years, they have come back to that idea. They, you know, obviously, encourage people not to drink all year long, but dry January is really that, what kicked that off was, you know, Emily, and now you know what started in the UK is obviously in the US. It’s global. I mean, people do it everywhere. And I think it’s amazing. And I do want to Garmin too. So, it’s one of those things that kind of happened by chance and yeah, has now impacted the entire world. That’s awesome.

Casey McGuire Davidson  29:28

So, one of the things you suggest is tracking how you’re feeling during the month of January. So, tell me about that and why it’s important.

29:39

I think it’s really important to track how you’re feeling, if not on a daily basis and on a weekly basis. Or you know, however long however you feel comfortable. I just think that there should be a little bit of like mile markers because I think it’s easy to reach the end of you know, a goal or accomplishment and Say that was I did this and this is how much weight I lost or this is I felt better or I did X, Y, & Z. But I think that if you see it like incremental steps, because giving up alcohol is not an easy thing to do, like period. And I should have said that first and foremost, I mean, it’s so ingrained in our culture, it’s obviously a very addictive substance, like, you know, there’s a lot of stuff that is really associated with alcohol, depending on who you are, and stigmas and you know, all these things. And so when somebody either announces that to a group can be really rough, and I think really, you know, journaling, or tracking, like what the conversations are, can really help you reflect at the end of the month and say, like, wow, this is the step by step of how this changed, you know, my physical health, or my mental health, or even like friendships and my relationships and really kind of paint a clearer picture. I think it’s easy to say, like, you know, oh, I ran a marathon. But like, what does that mean? Right? Like, when people run marathons, that means they’re waking up at ridiculous times, it means that they are potentially getting injured, it means that they are, you know, channeling support from her and they are giving up, you know, their mornings, or their evenings or specific foods or whatever it is to enhance what they’re doing. And I think doing a dry month, is probably harder. In some regards. Right? Yeah. Depending on, you know, who you are, and, and your lifestyle. So, yeah, I think just having that to look back on, it can be really inspiring. And certainly, if you’re having, you know, like, if it’s week three, and you feel like, wow, I really am done with this, you can really look back and be like, Oh, bar. Yeah, tell me a little bit more ago.

Casey McGuire Davidson  31:53

Yeah. And I love that too. You know, I was lucky, because I actually have a sober coach when I stopped drinking. And I kind of wrote her every single day. So, I was like, day two, here’s how I’m feeling day four. Oh, my God, it’s Thursday night, you know, day seven, I woke up on a Sunday, and I went for a run. And that was amazing without a hangover, but I have it. So, if anyone’s interested in that, I’ll put it in the show notes. I literally, audio recorded my first 30 days of my emails to my coach, you know, almost six years ago when I was in sobriety. But it’s, it’s really interesting. And some of my clients, you know, send me pictures of themselves, they take selfies, you know, obviously, on day one, lots of people have done that, but like, every week, and so they can see, you know, the difference in their skin and their eyes and the bloating and the redness. And so, you don’t realize how quickly, things get better. But if you are, like Hillary said, tracking how you’re feeling, you know, for me on day nine was the first night that I had a really good night’s sleep. And you can kind of track the up and down like, oh, yeah, I went to this thing, and I was super uncomfortable. And then the next day, you will have a total high hanging out with your kids and noticing the flowers and remember the end of TV shows and, you know, so the ups and downs are super interesting as an experiment that it is 100% worthwhile to capture in the moment.

 

33:34

Definitely 100% And I was just gonna ask you like, Do you ever look back on those now in your life? I mean, obviously, you just re-recorded it, but like, you’re like, Wow, I’m a completely different human being. Oh, yeah.

 

Casey McGuire Davidson  33:50

Yeah. Well, I mean, you know, it’s crazy. A year ago, I had my coach on the podcast, and we emailed a lot like that was sort of part of how I worked with her. We had phone calls, and then emails, so we exchanged over 800 emails, which is insane over two years. So, I have a complete log of my early sobriety, the ups and downs. So, I shockingly know how I felt on day 72 verses 120, which is great as a sober coach with what I do now. Because, you know, I can not only see my clients through it, but I but I had it, I went through it myself. But it is I mean, I feel like in the beginning, it’s incredibly hard. And then like, oh my god, people have all these like, transformational aha moments about like, even I spent time with this person, and I’m actually not sure I like them if I’m not drinking, or I did this thing. And I thought it would be awful, but it would I had a deeper conversation that I’ve had in a long time. Or, you know, dude, I don’t want to do this Should anymore, you know, like, whatever it is.

35:03

Absolutely. And I think, you know, to your point, I think having those epiphanies are even more motivating that you’re moving in the right direction. I think, you know, when you realize maybe your friendship through relationships are bound by alcohol, you realize, like, wow, there are so many other, you know, people in my life that I bond with, when and have like, or conversations who have to or like, when you’re not, and he created and yeah, I remember those conversations. And you know what I mean? So yeah, completely different experience.

Casey McGuire Davidson  35:40

Yeah, and even doing I mean, we talked a little bit about ideas of other things to do. But one of the things I love to do is like, be a tourist in your own city. And January is kind of a good time to do it. Because it’s sort of after the holiday rush. But you know, when I go to different cities, if I go to like Paris, or Amsterdam, or on vacation, I’m joining the bicycle tour, or I’m doing the walking tour of a museum, or, you know, going out to brunch and then going to like here in Seattle, we have Pike Place Market, which is absolutely gorgeous and crazy for photography, and flowers and cheese and fish. And when you’re sort of drinking and then recovering from a hangover, and like drinking is literally the highlight of your day or your week, you never do that stuff. So, it is really cool to if you’re like I’m doing dry January and not drinking, like make a bucket list of if someone came to your town for me at Seattle for the very first time, what are the six things you would do or want to show them and like go do those?

36:47

Yeah. Also, to your point, like, as somebody who very much enjoys food, I like a big thing, especially in New York is the culinary scene. And sometimes restaurants can be really hard this and when you think about the amount of money that you’re saving, like not spending it on alcohol, you can take your savings and treat yourself to something really nice at the end of, you know, your mind motivating to you as well. And you know, it doesn’t have to be food, it can be, you know, a pair of shoes, or like going to a spa or just, you know, paying off credit cards, too. But my point being is that, you know, if you are at work in your own city, you can really spend that extra cash that would otherwise been spent on alcohol.

Casey McGuire Davidson  37:31

You just reminded me. One of the things I highly suggest that people do is get a sober app. And you know, one of the ones I like is called I’m done drinking, it doesn’t have to be all about like, I’m sober, aka, you know, it’s all serious. The reason I suggest it is you can plug in there, how much you drink each week, sort of each day, how much it costs, and what day you stopped drinking. And I think people will be amazed. Just in the month of January, how much that adds up. Like in my first 30 days. I saved $550 Not drinking. I did Wow. 40 bottles of wine and I’m five foot three in 30 days, like, okay, so I drank like a bottle plus a night. But still, it’s amazing. And like all those calories and I just was like 40 bottles of wine like ingested into my frame like that is pure poison. But when you look at the money, and you reflect back at the end of your goal, you’re just like, oh my god, that was great. Good for me.

38:43

Yeah, I think also, you know, depending on where you live like a city like New York, I mean, you could get a cost him $25. And if you’re obviously having more than one, then and you’re with a group of friends. I mean, your bill is already like actual. So, I think that yes, financial savings is a huge one. And not to mention that if you’re drinking, you’re also not driving. Yeah, we’re going to take a cab or you’re going to take another mode of transportation and that’s an additional steak. And then when you’re wasted, you’re probably not going to be a kale salad. You’re going to go for some really high calorie Cheesy fries or, or pizza, I mean jam all my favorite foods, but like, truly like on top of you know what you’re saying about calories, too. It’s not just the drinks it’s also the other things that are taking place and the recovery after you know while you’re hungover sending us coconut water or breakfast three I mean; I’d eat like a burrito regardless of my face. I Oh, but I love them so much. But you know, you’re just Advil maybe like all the things that you gonna you know, be consumed. because you are not sober. Yeah.

Casey McGuire Davidson  40:03

And so, a lot told me a stat that I found amazing. And I wanted to ask you about it. You said, for the average adult, they spend two years of their life hungover. Where did you find that?

40:16

Literally my favorite statistics. So, it was from a study done in the UK. So obviously, they’re teenagers a little bit younger. But it was, I believe, a supplement company and that statistic has it burned into my mind. I mean, think about what people are doing for those, that amount of time, like, literally feeling that they are nauseous, or, you know, having a headache, having stomach issues, not able to go to work, or, you know, hang out with friends, or literally just enjoy the day, they are just in bed, feeling miserable. First of all, terrible. And second of all, you know, time that it takes away two years in a really long time. For grad school, you could, you know, have basically two children in that amount of time. I mean, so much happens, like, you know, by March, we will have been in this pandemic for two years. That’s how long you spend. feeling terrible. It’s blowing.

41:22

Yeah, and once I stopped drinking, I was like, I can’t believe how much of my life I went through just feeling like utter garbage and not even realizing it, because it was such my new normal, you know, not even realizing, I thought, like, Oh, I’ve got, you know, I’ve just kind of weak stomach, or I’ve got a really stressful job, or I always, I’m just an anxious person. And, you know, I still have anxiety, but, you know, 40% of what it used to be?

41:52

Yeah, it’s quite alarming. Also, like, the amount of time that I don’t remember exact number, but, you know, the American taxpayer pays for people, you know, calling, not getting their job done, essentially, or accidents that happen due to alcohol related incidents, or, you know, calling out of work. And what that means. It’s just, it’s crazy, like, the amount of debt is definitely, but like, is that occurs when people are consuming alcohol, like, and, and to your point when you said normal, like, I thought like myself, like it is so normalized, you know?

Casey McGuire Davidson  42:35

Yeah, yeah. Well, so you walk people through how to do dry January, what you know how to do a dry challenge. I know it’s for any month, so it could be sober October, or dry July, I love that there are sort of these movements and in different times of the year that kind of give you a reason to take time off of alcohol, which I think everyone needs based on how much of our culture consumes alcohol at such a rate any time. But if someone’s listening to this on, you know, it’s gonna come out on December 30, they might be listening to it on New Year’s Eve, they might be listening to it on New Year’s Day, which is perfect timing. What would be your best advice for like putting down that champagne glass and just going for it?

43:26

I would say, first of all, you have so much to look forward to in terms of benefits. And I think that 30 days, that not so much time, it is a substantial amount of time, but like you have so much to win, right? Like there’s so many positives. And I think that for me, on the other end of it, the biggest revelation was just how spending my time and like, who I was spending it with, and like how much time I just got back for other things that I love to do. And I think it’s different for everyone, right? But I think, you know, if it is genuine, if you haven’t prepared, like, don’t fret it like, I did dinner on a whim, you know, I remember going to brunch on January 1 The next day, and I was with my friends, they ordered cocktails, I ordered water. The server came over with six free tequila shots and I kindly took them, and I helped to have fun and it was that was my now or never moment. You know what I mean? It was like, okay, I can consume this and it’s already over. Or like, I’m going to pass on this. And once I pass on it, I felt like immediately more confident in my decision. Every time you say no, it’s just like, it gets better. It gets easier. It gets like more natural normal, but I was gonna say like, you know, if you don’t have time to prepare, don’t worry about it. Like do it as you go like, you know, go on January 1, you can take those bottles of alcohol you can put them somewhere where you’re not like passing it all the time right like Your bar chart is sitting in your living room you’re working from home, it’s just a reminder that alcohol there, if there’s, you know, fear in your fridge, like just give it to a friend, maybe toss it down the sink, like do whatever, you know, just to get it out of just for 30 days, and then see how you feel. And you know beyond that, I think like, you can ask for support, you can have a friend do it with you. I think that’s really, really helpful for me, it certainly was for someone make a bet with them. Find your most stubborn friend and say, I’m gonna bet you and that’s something that you really want. keep yourself motivated.

Yeah. I agree anything is going to be something that costs a lot of money. Maybe they always asked you to babysit their cat, and you really want them to babysit your kids. Like, you know what I mean?

Casey McGuire Davidson  45:48

Yeah, that accountability, that incentive that skin in the game that is really motivating when you want to say why am I doing this? Or this isn’t a big deal? Or who cares? You know, two weeks in, so if you’re like, Yeah, who cares, but I’m doing this with three of my friends. And, you know, whoever wins gets X, or whoever loses has to do Y, that can really push you through the hard part. And it can be more fun.

46:18

And also, like, you’ll have that person not only to like, keep each other motivated. But if you’re having a bad day, like to your point with your coach, like that’s the person that you can talk about your ups and downs with, because that’ll understand, and they’ll keep, they’ll be your cheerleader, too, you know, because I think sometimes, if you have friends who are not, and they’re trying to get you a drink, that’s not helpful, if you’re, you know, venting to them, but when you have your support squad, they’re like, that’s very helpful. And then I think also, like, I keep coming back to this, but just really occupying your time with like, other activities that make you happy and get you excited. And around alcohol, you know?

Casey McGuire Davidson  46:59

Yeah, absolutely. And so, one thing I would say, for women listening to this, who are thinking about dry January, I’d love to suggest that you really treat it like an experiment and not a reset, meaning so many of us say, I’m going to do dry January, and that will, then I’ll be better, right? I will have gone 30 days, 31 days without alcohol. So then clearly, I don’t have a problem. And the challenge with that is you spend the first two weeks, kind of it’s hard, right, you’re in withdrawal, you’re, you know, you’re still not sleeping well, all the things. And then the second two weeks, you’re basically counting down till the end of the month. So, alcohol is your reward. So, you know, doing a month without alcohol is great. Even better, is if you can plant the seed in your mind, I’m going to do dry January, and see how much better I feel. And if I want to keep going, like that’s a subtle shift. That makes a huge difference. To just be like, Oh, I’ve been tracking as Hillary suggested, like, my feelings. Here’s what I’ve noticed, like, My anxiety is down, I’m sleeping better. My skin looks amazing. I’ve gone to yoga six times, whereas when I was drinking, I kept saying I would I never did. My mood is better. I’ve done all these things. Alright, I’m gonna keep going. I want to see what it feels like to do February, you know, and just keep moving the milestones, as opposed to when you go into it planning a huge boozy dinner on the first of February like don’t do that.

48:43

And I would also say like, be very cautious to like, if you do for whatever reason, things again, couldn’t go in, like the way that you that you came out is recommended. Yeah, then it’s gonna be very sick. So yeah, I mean, I think that yeah, to your point, I think there’s so many people who have gone many months afterwards. There are studies that show that people who do dry January there are many that just don’t pick up a bottle Everton, there are other studies at the University of Sussex that show that even you know, six to nine, those months. I know that is what happened for me. I certainly was drinking your drink every week in amongst that followed, and now you’re after a year. I mean, there was a period of five months where I didn’t drink at all.

Casey McGuire Davidson  49:36

Yeah, I mean, I think it’s a great chance to re-evaluate your relationship with alcohol without constantly trying to moderate it or control it or just have to or just drink two days a week. You take it off the table and by doing that you put in your mind that you’re done deciding if you go out to lunch or to dinner, am I going to drink? You’re not Drinking. So, you get to focus on other things in your life, which is actually really cool. And most of us don’t take enough time to do that. I agree. Well, so tell us where people can find your book, because I think it’s awesome. And anyone who is doing dry January jumped into it.

50:19

Yeah, absolutely.

So, you can find The Dry Challenge and on amazon.com, it is local at the strand in New York City as well. And you can also go to the France website, and most of the places where books are sold. I will also say that the DRI challenge, I think it is a huge shift for a lot of people. I also want to note though, that, you know, if you are somebody who is looking for a recovery program, this is likely not for you. However, there are so many other resources and places to find help and support. Yeah. And, you know, the book is a great starting off point, which I love.

And so, for a lot of people, if you’re ready to stop drinking, if you think that you absolutely need to, you know, more support is needed a lot of times, but everything in your toolbox is helpful. I love dry January as a reason to get started without dealing with all the mental hurdles of Why are you stopping drinking? And do you have a problem? Or what do I tell people and so also on my website on hellosomedaycoaching.com, I have a free guide as well, that’s 30 tips for your first 30 days.

That’s a great companion to The Dry Challenge. So go over there. Download that, too.

And if you want to follow Hillary, I’ll link to her website and the book in my show notes. But the way I found her was you wrote really cool articles in the New York Times on finding love without alcohol on sober dating, and you wrote one on sheltering with your boyfriend and no booze. And I just think it’s really cool to see articles like that from smart, cool women in big, big outlets like the New York Times. I mean, it’s really spreading the word about the fact that you don’t need to drink to do everything in your life to date to do whatever. And so, the more people who write about it, I think the better it’s going to be.

52:29

Definitely great. Thank you for saying that.

Casey McGuire Davidson  52:33

Oh, yeah, absolutely. Thank you for coming on. I really appreciate it.