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Embracing Sobriety As A Power Move with Megan Wilcox of sobahsistahs

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

drinking, alcohol, feel, sobriety, people, life, thought, inner critic, cravings, Coach, women, absolutely, stop, talking, years, love, sober, podcast, day, sobahsistahs, good, alcohol-free, embracing, power move, quitting drinking, life without alcohol, sober life, better version of myself, shifting, limiting beliefs, negative thought patterns, transforming your life, changing, relationship with alcohol, highly addictive drug, depressant, Brené Brown, Belle Robertson, Sober Coach, empowering, Quit Like A Woman, sober curious, journey, self-worth, self-esteem, negative self-talk, affirmations, keep repeating, Sobriety Course, early sobriety, shame, guilt, self-loathing, You’re a sober badass, Never Question The Decision, bulletin boards, vision boards, sober woman, behavior, celebrated, Atomic Habits, You’re A Badass, self-development, build confidence, self-care, boundaries, energy, sober journey, imposter syndrome

SPEAKERS: Casey McGuire Davidson + Megan Wilcox of sobahsistahs

00:02

Welcome to the Hello Someday Podcast, the podcast for busy women who are ready to drink less and live more. I’m Casey McGuire Davidson, ex-red wine girl turned life coach helping women create lives they love without alcohol. But it wasn’t that long ago that I was anxious, overwhelmed, and drinking a bottle of wine and night to unwind. I thought that wine was the glue, holding my life together, helping me cope with my kids, my stressful job and my busy life. I didn’t realize that my love affair with drinking was making me more anxious and less able to manage my responsibilities.

In this podcast, my goal is to teach you the tried and true secrets of creating and living a life you don’t want to escape from.

Each week, I’ll bring you tools, lessons and conversations to help you drink less and live more. I’ll teach you how to navigate our drinking obsessed culture without a buzz, how to sit with your emotions when you’re lonely or angry, frustrated or overwhelmed, how to self soothe without a drink, and how to turn the decision to stop drinking from your worst case scenario to the best decision of your life.

I am so glad you’re here. Now let’s get started.

All ri

Hi there. Today we are talking about

embracing sobriety as a power move

And my guest is Megan Wilcox. She has celebrated 3 amazing years of an alcohol-free life. Megan is a certified holistic health coach, a certified professional recovery coach as she recovers coach, a mindset coach and alcohol free life coach a success coach and a certified in NLP practitioner. For the past 3 years her unwavering dedication has been to help fellow women break free from the clutches of alcohol. You may know her from Instagram as sobahsisters and she’s the host of the service sisters podcast. I always don’t know quite how to pronounce that. Even though so many of my friends in College were from Boston. Can you say it, for it?

Megan Wilcox  02:20

Yeah, you did a great job. Sobah sisters.

Casey McGuire Davidson  02:23

Okay, awesome. Are you you’re in Boston, right or right around there?

Megan Wilcox  02:28

I am. I’ve been in Boston for about 20 years. I originally I’m from Buffalo, New York.

Casey McGuire Davidson  02:33

Yeah. So, for anyone who doesn’t know it, that whole adding the H is sort of a Boston thing, right?

Megan Wilcox  02:41

Yeah. Like somebody would say, Yeah, wicked soba. And that’s kind of how I came. That’s kind of how I came up with sobah sistahs as a name, you know, obviously, and but I don’t really have a Boston accent, so no.

Casey McGuire Davidson  02:54

You definitely don’t. But I went to college in Maine. Like I said, I feel like everyone at my school came from somewhere in the suburbs around Boston and went right back there after graduation.

So, when you were saying like, um, wicked soba. Like I was like, oh, yeah, I remember the wicked, you know, thing from college? Yep. Yeah.

Awesome. Well, I’m super excited to have this conversation because so many women, and people overall, over the years have said, that sobriety is their superpower. And I’m trying to remember whether that originally came from Brené Brown, do you know?

Megan Wilcox  03:33

I don’t know. But it probably did. It’s, like, definitely see her.

Casey McGuire Davidson  03:37

I’ll look it up while we’re, while we’re chatting. But will you tell us a little bit about you?

Megan Wilcox  03:44

Yeah, sure. I’d love to. So, I am a mom of 2 boys, 14 and 9. And I’m a single mom. I’ve been divorced, 7 years, or maybe a little longer now. I work in Healthcare. When I’m not doing the sobriety stuff. I work in an Emergency Room here in Boston. And love my job. I’ve done that. 10 years.

Yeah, originally, like I said, grew up in Buffalo, New York. So, I moved here. To kind of get away from before alcohol was a thing. Gambling was a thing. Barmy?

Yeah, it’s so crazy to think when I was like 19 years old. And so, that’s how I ended up in Boston now. I’ve been here for a while now. You know, I love it. It’s definitely my home. And yeah, my life has totally changed since you know, getting sober. And even though everything’s the same as far as like, I’m in the same apartment. I have the same job. I have the same kids, but at the same time, so much has just changed. I feel like a completely different person.

Casey McGuire Davidson  04:50

That’s awesome. And we are going to talk about that all today. And I’m really excited about it because so many of us come into sobriety because we don’t like the way we are. We don’t like necessarily the way we look or the way we feel. And I know when I finally was ready to get some help and stop drinking, I had extreme anxiety. I felt like I couldn’t cope in life. But at the same time, quitting drinking was my absolute worst case scenario in life. I mean, I fought so hard to not stop drinking to moderate somehow. I mean, for a decade trying to control my drinking, because I never wanted to stop.

And I thought that based on the movies, or you know, what I’d seen on television, that life without alcohol or sober life was you sitting around in a church basement talking about, you know, what a horrible thing you’ve done, person you’ve been, that you have a disease, all this stuff. It just seemed very unhappy to me, and a situation where you’re talking about how powerless you are.

And I’ve found, I know, you’ve found that the exact opposite is true that by stopping drinking, I actually enabled myself to get unstuck, to have more confidence, to become a much better version of myself. And I wanted to dig into that, because that’s something that when you’re drinking, is really hard to believe.

Megan Wilcox  06:38

Yeah, it really isn’t. Sometimes, I’ll say that I’m like, I I’m not here trying to just sound all positive, like it’s easy. But I want to be somebody that people get excited about sobriety, and really just not see it as this punishment. And I think that that’s what holds us back for so long. From even seeing this as an opportunity or as an option is that we do see it as maybe what we thought it was what it’s historically been in the past. And so, we don’t even go there. And like you said, we do everything we can to just keep it in our life, whether it is trying to like moderate, make these rules. And once we can just let go of that and see that it actually has this huge opportunity to make some major growth in our life. It does start to change a little bit.

Casey McGuire Davidson  07:32

Absolutely. And I did look up Brené Brown, because so many of us know her, look up to her. And you may not be aware of, she actually quit drinking 28 years ago. And 5 years ago, she wrote,

When she was 23 years sober, how she was talking to a friend who was newly sober. And the conversation, she said, shifted something in me. For the first time in my life, I realized that my sobriety isn’t a limitation. Sobriety isn’t even a “have to”, it’s a superpower.

And she quoted something that Mary Karr who wrote the book, Lit, said, which was,

When I got sober, I thought giving up alcohol was saying goodbye to all the fun and all the sparkle. And it turned out to be just the opposite. That’s when the sparkle started for me. – Mary Karr

Megan Wilcox  08:34

I love that. I absolutely, just love that. Because I truly do believe that I didn’t always believe that, you know, and so that’s why I’m trying to just hit people early. You know, before they just give up and keep going back. Because that sometimes happens.

You know, they take a little time away, and nothing’s changed in their life. In fact, they feel more anxious and in board and feel like, you know, the odd man out and I’m, I’m here to be like, keep going. Because all of a sudden, you know, they say don’t stop before the miracle. And that’s, I think, just such a good reminder for us because it’s not easy in the beginning. And when you don’t know all the things that like, you know, that you will learn as time goes on.

When I think back of when I first quit, like I didn’t know all the things that I know now. I didn’t. I didn’t have the tools. I was just starting. And so that’s why I just love that. You know, there is a podcast like yours, and all the other podcasts, and things out there and Instagram and things, to show people like, it really can be better if you allow it to. If you take it as this massive opportunity to change your life.

Casey McGuire Davidson  09:46

Yeah, and I love that you said that because it does take work to shift your mindset to embrace sobriety as a power move as a superpower.

I was smiling when you said, you know, so many people take a little bit of time off and then go back to it. And that was me. I actually took about 4 months off when my son was 5, and then I got pregnant. So, I was sober for about a year. But by the time I got pregnant, I was already doing that, like slow shuffle back, trying to walk back. The idea that, Oh, my God, I need to stop drinking. This is a problem. This is serious, I was sort of it for months being like, well, maybe I overreacted once, all the negative stuff that you feel when you’re drinking is a little bit further in the rearview mirror. It’s so easy to rationalize and minimize how you felt and what it was really like. And I have to say those first, the first time I stopped drinking, my mindset was really resentful of the fact that it had quote, unquote, “gotten so bad”.

I very much did it from the idea of, oh, shit, I got to. Things are not going well. I really need to stop drinking.

The second time. So, I had my daughter, I went back to drinking for 2 years. They always say recovery ruins you for alcohol. Like, I knew too much. I knew every hangover. Every time I didn’t remember stuff and was trying to play it off. Every time my anxiety was off the charts. Or I looked at my bloodshot eyes, like I knew my drinking was unsustainable.

And the second time I stopped drinking, my mindset was completely different. I was like, I need to build a better life. I know I’m happier when I’m not drinking. I don’t want to go back to feeling that way. And that’s when I did the work. And I know you do this work with women all the time.

Megan Wilcox  12:05

Yeah, exactly. And something you said earlier too, about being powerless over alcohol. And that just like, like grinds my gears. It does. It gets me so worked out. Because, you know, as I remind the women in my groups, or anyone that I talked to and myself, alcohol is like highly addictive psychoactive mind altering drug.

So, you know, it’s up to us, though, to like to recognize that and to call it for what it is and to do what we need to do to stay away and to keep it out of our life. But it’s, that’s what it’s meant to do. Is to get us addicted. To suck a thing to just make us this, as small as we could possibly be, and destroy us, like little by little. And that’s, it’s not a beverage that is meant to like, make us feel great and is make us young look young. And then, all of you think that it is, you know, I was saying like ,you would think alcohol was this magic potion that made us all look younger and enact, like, in ways we’re proud of, and things like that the way that it’s just, you know, so glamorized and everything, but truly, you know, it’s not totally, you know, it’s not all our vaults.

And I just think, yeah, not seeing it as a punishment, like, oh, there’s something wrong with me. And I have to be the weird one in my friend group that doesn’t drink anymore. That no, actually the fact that you recognize that maybe this isn’t the best thing for me is actually freaking amazing. And it just makes you a badass that you that you’ve recognized it even if you’re still going back to it sometimes because you’re trying to figure it out on your you know, as you go. It’s still just, it’s that’s why I love to call it a power move. Because it really Yeah, it is.

Casey McGuire Davidson  13:53

Yeah, absolutely. And I wanted to read something that that a woman in my group posted just a couple of days ago, and I captured it because it was so perfect for our conversation. She wrote, day five after starting over post slip. I’m feeling great. When I quit 2 months ago, I was doing it for my kids, my husband, my family, my health, and all that for everything but me. It was hard and I felt like I was waiting to clean it and I felt resentful. During this short period of drinking, I realized that I can’t do this for any of those reasons. I have to do this for me. Me first. The rest is icing on the cake. Without trying to sound overdramatic, I want to take my power back. I am tired of giving it away. Now, not drinking is making me feel powerful, and I can only get stronger from here. I mean, How perfect is that for what we’re talking about?

Megan Wilcox  15:03

Oh my gosh, it makes a brain. Makes my eyes water, like it just so happy for her that she’s seeing that. And that’s not something that we can totally do for somebody. They, you know, we have to figure that out on our own. And when someone does hit that point, it’s like, All right, get ready. Because if you just keep showing up for yourself and surrounding yourself with, with other, you know, women that are working on this, like, it’s should, you know, only get better and better.

But yes, we have to do it for ourselves. And then everything else sort of starts to rise with us. And the things that don’t are the people that don’t, that’s okay. But it is a beautiful thing, when you start to just see these little areas of your life start to improve all on its own.

Casey McGuire Davidson  15:49

Yeah. And it is empowering, if you let it be. So, let’s talk about that. Because there is work involved in shifting, limiting beliefs and negative thought powder. And negative thought patterns and how to replace some of the insecurities we feel about not drinking, that we’re going to be judged that we’re going to be other that we’re not going to fit in or be included.

So, what are the steps that you take women through in order to embrace sobriety as a power move?

Megan Wilcox  16:30

Yeah, this is really important. Great question. And one of the first things that I personally had to do, and that I usually suggest, is to really work on staying in your zone, staying in your bubble, kind of, and trying to not worry about what other people think. Because you are transforming your life. You’re totally going to be changing your life.

And you know, we don’t want to look back and say, Damn, I didn’t, I didn’t stop drinking, because I was so worried about what Susie down the street was going to think of me. And now I just, you know, just screwed myself for the last 20 years, because I worried about somebody that really doesn’t matter that much in my life. So, really just focusing on what you’re doing. And if that means not going out for a little while, or a long while. Heck, I stayed in for literally, probably the first year. I didn’t go out. I was in, in my bubble, because I had to be I had to just stay focused and do what I was doing, and not get distracted.

You know, because it’s very easy that when we’re working on a goal, and we’re in our zone, and all of a sudden we start letting these outside forces like affect us and change what we’re doing and change our thoughts on our goal and making us question it, and then we’ll just we kind of fizzle out and we go towards them. And we lose track of what we’re doing.

So, really stay focused. Most people who drink wish they didn’t drink at all, or at least drink less.

And many people have a very complicated relationship with alcohol. It’s not something unique that we’re here struggling, you know. It’s not like we’re this, this weirdo that is struggling with alcohol, like so many people want to drink less, and they just they’re afraid to take action or whatever it might be.

And so, the fact that anybody’s even questioning their own relationship is, is unbelievable. And it’s huge. So, it’s something to be proud of.

Casey McGuire Davidson  18:28

So, one of those things. I just wanted to jump in really quickly on that, because I know that it’s possible someone’s listening to this and are like, yeah, yeah, yeah, that’s not true. That most people want to drink less.

There was a study done very recently that said that more Americans are cutting back on drinking in 2024 over two in five people 41% are trying to drink less in 2024. And that’s an increase of seven percentage points over last year 2023. And the younger generations, especially Gen Z are really into this approach 61% of Gen Z planned to drink less in 2024. I mean, were in 2023 Just 40% felt that way. So that is what a 20% jump among Gen Z in a year. And two in five American adults want to drink less this next year. So, you are not alone in this. You’re in fact, on the forefront of it by actually going alcohol-free and taking a look at, as you said, this highly addictive drug, that is a depressant, that we’ve been taught we need.

Megan Wilcox  19:53

Exactly. That I love those numbers though. That’s exciting and gives us hope for kids. And the younger generations like, people are, they’re catching on to it, you know, it’s like we were all fooled for a really long time. And especially, you know, as women.

Women are drinking now more than ever, more than, than we ever have, historically, we always historically drink less than men, but now it’s like neck and neck, you know, and, and that has a lot to do with, you know, the way it’s marketed to us. And all those things. I know, You’ve, you’ve talked about that before. And so, again, when you catch yourself, you know, maybe feeling, oh, all the friends or the group of girls, they’re all hanging out, they’re not calling me now, because they know I’m not drinking, or I’m on this journey. And that we kind of feel bad, don’t like, try not try not to allow ourselves to feel that way. And know, like, just stop for a second, when you catch yourself having this thought that, you know that they’re probably sitting around talking about me and wondering, gosh, what my drinking must have looked like for me to want to quit that, know that you’re actually doing something that is so brave, that not many people, you know, are able to do and really look at themselves in the mirror, and that what you’re doing is going to improve your life. It will and some people. It’s a little bit other people’s.

It’s a lot. It’s what you are going to do with it. And you know, the people you’re going to surround yourself with and, and all that that’s going to make a difference. But it’s not. It’s not a weakness. It’s definitely not something, there’s something wrong with you, that you’re that alcohol sucked you in or that you’re living in alcohol-free life. It’s to me. But again, like you said, it doesn’t happen overnight. I didn’t always feel this way. It’s been a lot of work and a lot of mindset work to kind of get to this point.

Casey McGuire Davidson  21:51

Yeah, I absolutely agree. I, it took me a long time to embrace this idea. The first person who helped me sort of shift the way I was thinking, well, there were a couple of factors. One was the bubble Hour, which when I quit drinking was the first podcast I found where women were telling their stories of life after alcohol.

Then I found Belle Robertson, have, Tired Of Thinking About Drinking. She actually was my Sober Coach, but I really resonated with her approach and her philosophy just that nobody needs to drink, and that sobriety suits you and that you know, struggling with alcohol is this backpack of rocks, you’re going to put down and then once I was about 60 days alcohol-free, I did Holly Whitaker’s Hip Sobriety school, before she wrote, Quit Like A Woman. And if you’ve read that book, it really is empowering in terms of all the reasons that alcohol holds us back and keeps us small. And taking a look at the way we’ve been marketed to and to some extent duped by the alcohol industry to rely on this substance that that honestly drags you down it mentally, physically, emotionally.

So, I think anyone listening to this podcast following you on Instagram, reading any of these books, you’re already doing the work to shift your mindset about how good life can be, if you stopped drinking, if you drank less, if you’re experimenting and questioning what alcohol, the role it’s playing in your life and whether the positives outweigh the negatives you are already doing the work. And it’s important, just listening to this podcast. It’s important.

Megan Wilcox  24:00

Absolutely. I love that book. That was one of the first books that I read when I was first getting sober was quite like a woman. And actually, the first book I read and this was years before I got sober just shows us how long we’re on this like journey before we actually quit. It was called a happier hour.

Casey McGuire Davidson  24:24

She’s out of I think Australia, and I just remember well in your second sobriety.

Megan Wilcox  24:27

Yeah, exactly. I have her second book two and it was just helpful. But I remember reading how Holly’s book and reading the page about how a health conscious generation of people we SoulCycle. We juice, we cleanse. We eat organic. We pay extra for a yoga class because there’s healing crystals on the floor and she goes on and on. And we’re drinking fucking rocket fuel, and I was like, Mic drop. This is me. Like, I thought you know, I was so healthy and so many other ways and I was like this one thing is like did not align with me. And you know who I thought I was, but I just kind of ignored it and put the blinders on because it’s wine is surreal, it relaxes us and things like that. But I just, and that’s why I think reading books, like You’ve obviously done a lot of, you know, courses and worked with the Sober Coach like this stuff, it takes a while to kind of get this mindset. But it’s possible, either we’re going to spend the next 3 years or whatever many years drinking, and just going through the motions live in the same day over and over again.

Or we could take a couple years and do a lot of work on ourselves and growth and in trying to educate ourselves and figure this this whole thing out. Absolutely.

Casey McGuire Davidson  25:42

So, one of the things that you almost have to do when you stop drinking, is work on negative thought patterns.

What are some of the most common negative thought patterns you see amongst the women who are struggling with alcohol or are early on this sober curious journey?

Megan Wilcox  26:12

I see a lot of we got to figure when we’ve started our mornings off. Most mornings, you know, beating ourselves up, saying, Oh, you’re such a piece of shit. I can’t believe you did this again. What is wrong with you? When we did that? For years and years, like our self-worth or self-esteem is very beat, it’s low.

By the time we’re, you know, someone comes to, you know, a group like ours and as wanting to stop. And so, just catching ourselves, usually, there’s a common theme of a negative self-talk. Like, something that we’re always, comes up with us. And it could be around sobriety and trying to quit, or it could just be anything that we’re just, you know, your house isn’t clean enough, or, you know, you everybody else dresses nicer than us or, you know, whatever it might be needed to go to the gym more is to just try to you know, stop, and then flip it. Or tell ourselves something, you know, when it’s like, I mess everything up, I can never follow through on anything. Okay, that’s probably not true. What have you accomplished? What are some areas of your life that you’re doing really well at? Try to just flip it and give yourself, you know, a compliment? And then whatever we’re thinking it’s probably not, it’s probably not true. It’s just these things that we tell ourselves or our inner critic, or, and especially with comparison itis and comparing ourselves to others. Like, we’re always just going to make ourselves feel not great. So definitely just acknowledging it is something that’s going to be important, and then trying to just flip it around.

Casey McGuire Davidson  27:40

Yeah, absolutely. What was the biggest negative thought pattern that you had when you were drinking? And then I’ll share mine?

Megan Wilcox  27:52

Oh, gosh, there are so many. I did not like myself at all. It’s when I was drinking, and even afterwards for quite some time. You know, I couldn’t even look in the mirror. And if I did, especially after a night of drinking, I would just feel like what is this wrong with you? You’re such a loser, like you’re doing like, I was doing great at my job in the, in the ER, I was getting great reviews, you know, things like that. But it was like this one thing was like, what? Why do you keep breaking promises to yourself? And mostly Yeah, I was just like, that I was a loser and that there was something you know, wrong with me.

Casey McGuire Davidson  28:30

Yeah, but yeah, I resonate with that so much. I mean, you know, what’s funny? The most common phrase that went through my head is, what is wrong with you?

Like, maybe that is what we all think, in the morning when we wake up. I used to wake up and think, What is wrong with you? Get your shit together, Casey. Like, you know, Tuesday morning, Wednesday morning. It’s a lovely way to wake up. But no, I’m kidding. I felt like I couldn’t cope with life. And it wasn’t so many people think I just want to drink like a normal person. I hear that constantly. That wasn’t what went through my mind that much. What went through my mind is why can I cope with life the way everyone else can? Why do I feel this crushing anxiety? why are things so hard for me? And like you I was doing great. You know, I was getting great performance for views getting promoted at work. And yet this is how I felt inside. I felt I mean, talk about impostor syndrome. I thought if anyone looked at me too closely or knew how much I was drinking or what I was scared of, you know, they would not want to be around me be friends with me. Work with me.

Megan Wilcox  29:55

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, though. What is there has to be something did wrong with us or what is wrong with us? And there’s not there’s definitely not, you know, it’s again, it’s doing what it’s supposed to do, it’s sucking us in. And especially, a lot of times, we’ll notice that there is something that’s going on in our life that sort of grew up that really stuck sucks us in. So maybe it is like, just overworking and we’re stressed. And so, we just, it sucks us in, and it does the trick for a little bit.

For me, it was my divorce and the fear I had from that the emotional, the sadness, the loneliness, all the things like I didn’t always have a problem with drinking, it ramped up for me personally, when it was kind of situational in a way. And it was, you know, my divorce. And that’s it just escalated so quickly.

And yeah, and so it’s yeah, it’s the negative self-talk, though. It’s hard. We all do it, even someone who has the most competence still can have that inner critic, and I think just acknowledging it and just always trying to work on it. And knowing it’s not true.

Casey McGuire Davidson  31:04

Absolutely. Well, so one of the ways that we talked about before we jumped on this call to counteract those negative thought patterns, were affirmations. Why do you think those are key?

Megan Wilcox  31:22

Well, affirmations, they’re proven to work, they really do. And especially when you say them out loud, you repeat them. That’s the key is to keep repeating them. You’re not going to say once, like, I love myself, you know, and all of a sudden, you’re like, love yourself, and life is grand. Like, you have to keep saying it even when you don’t believe it. Because you’re not going to believe it right away. Most likely, I know, I didn’t.

And I had this friend. And she would always tell me, like, just look in the mirror and say, I love you. And I was like, No, that I do not want to do that. That sounds ridiculous. And I fought it for a really long time.

And then finally, is when I was taking a sobriety course, and in early sobriety, that was one of the things we had to say, you know.

I am not my past, I’m a person of dignity and honor.

And I remember that, and I was like, okay, like, in the first time I sent it, I just cried, and I just bawled. I was like, Oh, my God, because we do we just have so much like just shame and guilt and, and self-loathing at that point.

So, I just feel like, you know, affirmations are going to be such a huge thing and benefit for anybody that’s in early sobriety, or anything that you’re trying to change in your life. And so, I really want to make these affirmations, you know, I am and in, say them as if they’re already true as if they’ve already happened. So, you don’t want them to be what you don’t want. You don’t want to say like, I will not drink tonight, you know, like, that’s like kind of a negative thing.

You know, you want to say something more like,

I am a sober badass woman. You know, I am a strong, alcohol-free woman.

And you come up with a bunch of them, and put them on post it notes, put them on your mirror, or maybe you don’t want to put them on your mirror, because you don’t want your husband to see yourself doing. I don’t know where your kids put them, on your visor in your car. And when you’re driving, just flip it down, while you’re not while you’re driving. But when you’re at a red light or something, flip it down and read these affirmations have.

I also suggest like having them pop up in your phone as reminder. So, 5 o’clock is your time where normally you’d start getting the itch habit. It just pops up in it’s like,

never question the decision.

That’s when I have or, you know what, whatever works for you and just keep repeating them. And eventually, one day, you’re going to cut yourself in the mirror, and you’re going to be like, Oh, hey, you are so badass.

Casey McGuire Davidson  33:42

No, totally. You know, it’s funny. What you said number one, never question the decision. That’s something. I actually got a NQTD tattooed on my wrist for 7 years alcohol-free. It took me. I wanted a tattoo. I loved NQTD from probably year 1, but I’ve never had a tattoo.

So, it took me a very long time to be like, Yep, I care about this enough, this is meaningful enough to want to look at it and have it on me every day. But some of the affirmations that I used, and I think it’s really important to take your most repeated negative thought and flip it to the positive because that’s what makes it powerful. And even if it seems that you don’t truly believe it in the beginning, if you see it often enough, it will become an automatic thought in your mind.

So, I had sort of bulletin boards with quotes on them first in my kitchen and then in my garage as well. I sort of have always been a more is more probably why I drink a lot like if one is good 17 is better. But one of the things I had up there was literally, there is nothing wrong with you. I mean, so simple, right? But the idea that I was like, What the fuck is wrong with me? There is nothing wrong with you.

Another one because I was so afraid to walk away from alcohol, I thought my life would suck.

I had one up that said,

I am beginning to love the sound of my feet walking away from things that are not meant for me.

And love that one.

Yeah, the other one I had up was,

Create a life that feels good on the inside, not just one that looks good on the outside.

Megan Wilcox  35:47

Yeah, perfect. I love that. And I have a couple more here too, just in case anyone’s having, like a hard time maybe coming up with some because this could be new to you maybe never done affirmations before. Maybe you’ve thought about it. And then just, you know, said, I don’t know. That’s stupid, which again, that that is what I thought at one point too. But I do have.

I, in my best self, sober. I am a strong, sober woman. I am confident in my abilities to navigate social situations without alcohol. I am grateful for the clarity and peace that sobriety brings to my life. And you want to.

Yeah, keeps keep saying these things. Keep having them come up in your phone, keep seeing them like put it every like, say it see it all, you know all the things. And like Casey said, you don’t have to believe it right away. You don’t. Because you might think like this is I don’t, I don’t think I’m my best self, sober. Or, you know, you might not have hit that point yet. But, but that’s what you want to feel that way. So, think sometimes, too, but how do you want to feel? And then maybe make some affirmations from that from how you want to feel?

Casey McGuire Davidson 

Hi there. If you’re listening to this episode, and have been trying to take a break from drinking, but keep starting and stopping and starting again, I want to invite you to take a look at my on demand coaching course, The Sobriety Starter Kit.

 

The Sobriety Starter Kit is an online self study sober coaching course that will help you quit drinking and build a life you love without alcohol without white knuckling it or hating the process. The course includes the exact step by step coaching framework I work through with my private coaching clients, but at a much more affordable price than one on one coaching. And the sobriety starter kit is ready, waiting and available to support you anytime you need it. And when it fits into your schedule. You don’t need to work your life around group meetings or classes at a specific day or time.

This course is not a 30 day challenge, or a one day at a time approach. Instead, it’s a step by step formula for changing your relationship with alcohol. The course will help you turn the decision to stop drinking, from your worst case scenario to the best decision of your life.

You will sleep better and have more energy, you’ll look better and feel better. You’ll have more patience and less anxiety. And with my approach, you won’t feel deprived or isolated in the process. So if you’re interested in learning more about all the details, please go to www.sobrietystarterkit.com. You can start at any time and I would love to see you in the course 

Casey McGuire Davidson  36:54

Yeah, absolutely. The other thing that can help in terms of I love that quote that about your most like the five people you spend the most time with. The truth is, it is very hard to live a very positive life if you’re surrounded constantly with negative messages.

And in order to make any change, And James Clear in Atomic Habits talks about this all the time,

You need to maybe supplement your social circle with people whose behaviors you want. Where that is the behavior that’s celebrated.

That’s why it is so important to listen to podcasts about why alcohol-free life is good to read books about that or to join groups where when you say oh my god, I just hit 14 days, you get a virtual parade for being a badass because you freaking deserve it. And you don’t have to ditch people in your life. But you do have to add other messages. And they don’t just have to be sobriety messages.

One of the books I sort of listened to on repeat in early sobriety was Jen Sincero, You Are A Badass, that one I just loved. I loved her approaches. I know for other people. They love Gabby Bernstein. She was never quite my jam. She wrote, the universe has your back. But there are so many different messages and people out there and just finding one that makes you feel really positive and empowered about moving forward with your life about not doing what everyone else is doing about going alcohol free is a power move. I think they will very much help you. And you know, you don’t have to know the people one-on-one. You can find them and listen to them and that will help ingrain those messages.

Megan Wilcox  39:10

Yeah, absolutely. I love Jen Sincero. I love that book. And I love her. You’re A Badass at making money. That was one of my favorite books too. She’s such, she’s just a great writer.

Casey McGuire Davidson  39:21

That book was the one that made me make the leap to go back to Coaching School because I was terrified to leave my corporate job and that book, You’re A Badass at making money sort of convinced me that going out on my own. Taking a bet in myself. Building my own business was actually more secure and stable than staying in the corporate world where we’re in the field I was in, you know, Tech Marketing, Retail, Online Digital Marketing, there were endless reorg and layoffs and mergers and union. Amen.

Megan Wilcox  40:01

Yeah, no, that book is great. It’s, I recommend it to anyone. And it’s good just like self-development because you don’t have to just go into sobriety stuff. But I love what you said about, you know, you know, find somebody that you kind of look up to, who you feel like maybe they kind of have their shit together a little bit, you know. A little bit more than me and just start following even like, you don’t have to know this person, follow them on social media, I did that actually, for a while, while I was still drinking. I follow this girl. She was actually younger than me. She owned her own gym, and she didn’t drink and to talk about her stuff. She didn’t have a sub sober page. It was kind of before sober Instagram was what it what it is. But she would just talk about like, I used to drink, and it was like, if I wouldn’t get any of my stuff done. Now, I’m kicking ass. I have this business. I’m traveling, I’m doing all these. And I just, I would drink and watch her stories and, and all of a sudden, one day it clicked.

And so, what when you can just have somebody that you look up to. And one other thing I did this with my group the other day, that is helpful is, to visualize you acting the way you want to be someday, you know, maybe you’re not quite there yet. And to even name this alter ego of yourself.

My coach actually did this with me. And I had a named my alter ego, like this best version of me who was making really great decisions with her life. And I named her Veronica. I don’t know why it reminds me of Veronica from Anchorman. Veronica Corning stone.

Casey McGuire Davidson  41:28

It’s just pictures that Christina Applegate okay. It’s she always had that white suit. And I was like, Damn, you know what, you can’t drink a lot of wine in a white, white suit, because I always spilled my shit everywhere. Exactly.

Megan Wilcox  41:43

Yeah. So, I would think when if I was going to say, think about having a drink or having a craving of what would Veronica do? Veronica would not have a drink, and she would not pound a bottle of wine. She would go to bed early, and she would wash her face. And she would you know, get a good night’s sleep. And so really visualize this version of yourself, like, how do you show up? How are you? What are you putting into your body for food? Are you working out if that’s something that’s important to you? Are you taking classes and learning something new. And obviously, the best version of me is an alcohol-free woman, who was proud about it and not ashamed or embarrassed.

And so, I really would just like visualize and embody this, this version of me. And because it’s possible for all of us, like as much as you might feel like, it’s not possible for you now and you that you’ve dug a lot of holes and areas of your life that you feel like you’re going to be hard to get together. Just, it’s possible for you trust me. I file bankruptcy in 2032, I had racked up $100,000 in debt. I divorce a single law. I was drinking many nights, there’s a lot of things that I had to really come back from and that I could have just let take me down. But eventually, just one day, you know. I just didn’t want to live that way anymore. So, yeah.

Casey McGuire Davidson  43:05

You know what’s interesting, one of the things we talked about in terms of how to help you embrace sobriety is a power move when you are thinking, What the fuck is wrong with me? Or why can I do everything in my life, but not get this together? Is, you said to focus on evidence of past achievements and strengths.

And I thought of that when you were describing all of the things you’ve overcome, because that is incredible to go from that situation, to coming out the other side, helping other people building your life back again. And for a lot of high achieving women, you have done so many incredible things in your life.

One of the things I think is, you know, women will say to me, why don’t I have any willpower? Why don’t I have any determination? And I’m like, Oh, my God, you have these kids, you’re nurturing this home, you’re taking care of this job, that’s stressful, whatever it is, and you’re drinking a bottle of wine a night, or at least I was and hungover every single day. I’m like, that takes willpower and determination. You’re basically running this marathon with this ball and chain around your ankle. Which by the way, the reason it’s really hard to get rid of that is cause it’s addictive. And it’s working the way it’s designed, and it’s everywhere around you and there’s peer pressure to drink.

I mean, there are many, many reasons why you can do all the other things, but not kick this addictive habit that’s pushed on you. But once you take off that ball and chain, you truly can’t do anything and if fact that you have all these past achievements, and the fact that you’re still holding it together, in some way, shape or form, despite how difficult alcohol is making your life, once you focus on getting away from alcohol and do the work around mindset and do the work around, getting through cravings, and looking forward, I mean, those past achievements and strengths are going to serve you very, very well.

Megan Wilcox  45:31

Absolutely. And yeah, I always describe it to as like juggling, like, I had all the balls up in the air, like, but it was ready to frickin’ come crashing down. And that’s what kind of, like for many of us, that are higher functioning is like, All right, we’re somehow managing it. But yes, take alcohol out. And anything truly is possible, like all these dreams that you had a long time ago that you threw away. There now 100% possible.

And I think it was also Mel Robbins said that confidence is the willingness to try. And so, that’s all we can do, is to try and then you’re going to build confidence over time. And so, it can go with sobriety. Just willing to try to quit willing to, you know, by taking action and joining a group or getting a sober coach or doing whatever it is, that will work for you. But just the willingness to try is amazing. And then you’re going to build that confidence. And then anything is just possible when you just don’t give up. And you’re willing, because a lot of people aren’t willing, they’re not willing to get on a zoom call, they’re not willing to show up or anything for themselves. So just be willing. And

Casey McGuire Davidson  46:44

And it’s scary, right? It is terrifying. I was shaking. The first time I posted in a private Facebook group literally shaking, terrified, I walked into my first AAA meeting, it didn’t end up being my path. But a friend said she would take me I was terrified to do that. I was terrified the first time I walked into one on my own. I mean, this shit is scary. To be fair. I also get nervous walking into a Pilates class for the first time we’re in class, like, you know, I think anything you do starting a new job is uncomfortable at first. But you’re right. I mean, in terms of affirmations, I had a couple more up and one said, start before you’re ready. Because honestly, you’re never going to be ready just begin. And the other said, and I’m sure people have heard this, but sometimes the smallest step in the right direction can be the biggest move of your life essentially.

Megan Wilcox  47:51

Yeah, absolutely. I love that I got like chills, because it’s, it’s true. And sometimes you don’t even know it at the time. Like you think, Oh, I’m just going to log on to the Zoom meeting for the first time. You don’t know if that could be the thing that changes at all it was for me and like you said, I was scared, too. I don’t even think I had my camera on. I didn’t share. But then, the second time, I was like I really want to share.

And then I was getting this like nervous feeling. And sometimes feeling you think you’re scared and nervous and anxious. You’re just excited. And you have hope now and you’re like, oh my god, okay, I’m not a loser. Look at all these incredible women on this call here. And you just leave with hope. But yeah, it’s okay to be scared. It’s and that’s usually when the magic happens.

Casey McGuire Davidson  48:33

Yeah, exactly. Anytime you feel uncomfortable, or nervous, that’s growth, that means you’re doing something new. That means you’re not in your same old patterns. I would also say that you need to surround yourself with people who inspire you or make alcohol-free life. Feel really positive, like something that will be good for your life.

So, I always say any group you join any new thing you do, give it 3 or 4 tries, right. The first time you’re always, your minds just automatically going to be like, this sucks. I don’t want this, whatever it is. But if after 2 or 3 or 4 tries, it is not making you feel positive about not drinking, find it another group. I mean, there are so many approaches out there.

I say that. Including like, what books you’re reading, right? There are some books you might start reading that are making you feel badly, or guilt or shame or somehow you don’t want to be that character. Find another book that will inspire you and make you feel positive and excited about what’s next because that’s how you should did feel on this path. And that’s how you’re going to be proud of your decision not to drink to make it, do it for yourself and make it be an act of self-care and inactive. Making you a better version of yourself.

Megan Wilcox  50:17

Yeah, absolutely. And one other quick thing we could do is when it comes to social media, if there’s accounts that are making you feel bad or making you feel less than even though it’s probably not them, you know, if they’re just sharing maybe their beautiful house and you’re like, Oh, God, like because that would be sometimes me or their husband and wife with kids and they’re not divorced, like I would feel bad and then just unfollow them. It’s that or hide them or something, and just follow accounts that are going to lift you up, make you feel good, try to just fill yourself with like positivity. And anything that does kind of make you just feel not great, especially when you’re in early, early sobriety, when you’re trying to just build yourself back up. So, just get rid of it. Get it out there, get it out of the way. So, out of sight, out of mind, and that really helps me as well, especially when it comes to social media. Oh, yeah.

Casey McGuire Davidson  51:07

And you know, just really editing and curating the energy that you absorb into your life. And I still do that on a fairly regular basis, just noticing how different things especially on social media are making you feel but I had to do it even in the news.

You know, I used to watch cable news and it literally is designed to spike your stress and get you outraged and keep you coming back for more. And I stopped all the breaking news alerts on my phone, I stopped watching any cable news shows. And I just read the news now, you know, New York Times or NPR you know something non alarmist in my mind where I get the information, but I get it where I can absorb it without all the visual images or things like that. I also do it with social media in terms of I went through in January and just put on followed all these accounts for shits Creek memes because I freaking love shits Creek, and it makes me so happy. And whatever.

I followed some that was around baby animals. So, I’m scrolling through, and I see like baby bunnies and adorable kittens and little goats. And you know, and then I followed all these gorgeous places in Europe, in Portugal and France and Italy, just because I was like, they inspire me when I see them. And then of course, I follow so many people like you. And Amanda E. White, who’s from Therapy For Women and inspirational people, who post about boundaries and self-care and inspiration because those really impact the way you approach life and the thoughts and feelings in your life.

Megan Wilcox  53:06

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, we can kind of brainwash ourselves in well, if we can brainwash ourselves into thinking that alcohol relaxes us and makes us feel good. Why not brainwash us into just positivity? That’s good. Definitely what I do. I have to because we all do this world, definitely is crazy. And it can, it could pull us down that negative path. So why not? Like we can curate what we see, you know, to pretty good extent. And so why not just make it something so that we’re seeing and absorbing good stuff and helpful stuff that’s going to help us grow? And not the, I, my kids. I don’t think I’ve never put the news on here. I don’t even watch TV actually anymore. I barely ever put it on. And it’s a good it’s a good thing I definitely think but it’s we have to take the action and just do it go through the Instagram accounts follow a bunch of good ones. Absolutely. I love that. I love that you did that though.

Casey McGuire Davidson  54:02

Yeah, I think it’s so important because it really any it can also be feeling less than or feeling like everybody’s doing more than you’re doing. I have to admit I had originally followed millions over accounts and as a Sober Coach, I had to unfollow a bunch of them because I was feeling insecure, Oh my God, these people have so many followers and are posting all these reels and are doing all these things or, and so I was like, keep my friends and keep people that I really, you know, who’ve been on my podcast who I really admire or want on my show or who inspire me but if I feel jealous or less than or competitive or whatever. I’m like, snooze them for 30 days and see how I feel then and you know all of that stuff. It’s not and that can be any time in your life. You know?

Megan Wilcox  54:56

Yeah, absolutely. Same thing happens to me. I think it’s more. Well, it’s a normal human reaction for us to feel that way, especially when we’re in this space. And so, I’m glad that you did that, I definitely do that as well, I don’t even I don’t really even scroll too much anymore. Actually, just telling the truth because it does, and it could get in your head. But that’s why I just continue to work on my mindset. I mean, I became a mindset coach, and I still want to, like, do more with that get more certifications, more things that helps me, you know, it’s helped me really just create a life with like, boundaries I never had before, people that are in my life. My circle is very small. I’m all about quality over quantity. I always have them my whole life. But that’s just, you know, not bringing in negativity that I can control is definitely helpful.

Casey McGuire Davidson  55:49

Yeah. Well, one of the things I wanted to touch on in terms of negative self-talk, is how to identify that inner critic voice because almost all of us have it? And typically, it was established when we were very young as a way to keep us safe, almost. But when we had very little power in our lives, what do you do when you’re working with women in terms of identifying and silencing or making that inner critic voice less powerful?

Megan Wilcox  56:23

I actually, I love talking about this, because everyone has an inner critic, even the people that are on top and are crushing it, they still will do the comparison thing and, and things like that. So again, it is going to be just acknowledging it and even talking back to it, like I might sound crazy. But if you have this like voice in your head, that’s telling you something, you know, that’s not great. So sometimes, it’ll be like that. I didn’t cook dinner, a good enough dinner for my kids. And I gave him grilled cheese. And I’d be like, Okay, shut up, like, come on, like you’re doing a lot, you’re doing a lot here, you’re doing your best, it’s okay. Like, I literally would like to give myself a pep talk. So sometimes, give yourself a little pep talk. That’s what that is, is really helpful. And just stopping and again, like sometimes telling that boys to shut up.

I definitely have done that before. But the inner critic, you know, it’s literally an imposter syndrome and comparison itis and all that it’s the thief of joy, just like alcohol is. When we’re trying to compare ourselves to others, or we wait, and then we stopped doing what we’re doing. Because we think, Well, everybody’s already done this before, like with a podcast, you know, maybe someone’s thinking, like, I would love to do a podcast, while there’s already so many podcasts out there, so I’m not going to do it. And because I’m too late to the game, and who would listen to me anyways, like, when we say all these negative things like in our brains going to believe it, our mind will believe whatever we tell it.

So, we say, No, I’m going to be great at it, I have a lot to say, people are going to like me, again, even if you don’t believe this, our brain will believe it, because it believes whatever we say. And so, if it’s negative, it’s going to believe that and run with it and go with it. If it’s the good stuff, it’s going to make us feel a little bit better. And so, I definitely think like, comparison-itis and all of that is. It is. It’ll just suck the life right out of us.

So, staying in our zone, and just knowing that, that we are a unique individual, we are ourselves, we bring something great to the table that somebody else doesn’t.

And, yeah, just continuing to work on it and be committed to it. That’s going to be important to like, don’t just give up on it and, and think like it’s, I’m still talking negative to myself. Just is. It’s a work-in-progress, for sure.

Casey McGuire Davidson  58:43

Yeah, absolutely. And I think that one of the things that helped me again, just having this in front of me seen it often was, was the quote, stop worrying about what other people think of you, most people don’t even know what they think of themselves. I just kind of like okay, that somehow helps me, you know.

Megan Wilcox  59:09

And then I’ve also noticed, too, I feel like most people that are going to, like, cheat on you, or whatever it might be talk, whatever you think it is talk about you or whatever. That’s probably because they’re like, dang, like, she’s doing it .I wish I could do it. You know, like, so when you’re maybe tell a group of friends that you’re quitting drinking and maybe you’re going to. Getting a little like, pushback. Are you still doing that not drinking thing or whatever? They’re probably actually really admiring you and being like, dang, but for whatever reason, some people don’t want to say that. So, just remember that, that people probably are looking at you, towards you. That are looking up to you and you don’t even realize it.

Casey McGuire Davidson  59:53

Yeah, and even if they don’t act that way at first. I found that some have the biggest drinkers. Have later come to me and been like, oh, wow, are you really happier? How did you do that? I think I should cut back, including the people who sort of were like, Oh my God, you’re not drinking. What’s up with that? When I started.

So, I always think if it’s really important to someone else that you’re drinking, that is all about their own relationship with alcohol, and you are holding a mirror up to them that they don’t necessarily want to look at yet. So, a lot of times you inspire them.

But the other thing in terms of embracing sobriety is a power move, I have really found that people will play off however you present, that you’re not drinking.

So, if you say, Yeah, I’m not drinking, because I want to sleep better. And I find it spikes my anxiety, and I want to have more energy. It’s very hard to argue with that. Or if you’re like, Yeah, I haven’t drank in 30 days, and I feel so good. I’m going to keep going. It’s very hard to be like, what’s wrong with you? Did you have a problem with alcohol, as opposed to being apologetic about not drinking, or, you know, I like to be very upfront about it. And I was not ready to say, “forever”, at all in the beginning. But I did say, Oh, I’m doing 100 day no alcohol challenge. And the only reason I was confident enough to say that was because I was in a group. And I worked with a Coach. And I was doing all the work behind the scenes. But being very upfront, I advise my clients like, they got on a plane, or a waiter comes up to them and offers them alcohol. Just be like, actually, I’m not drinking right now.

Megan Wilcox  1:02:01

Do you have anything amazing, that’s alcohol-free, just right off the bat, you know,

love that? And even doing like roleplay either with yourself like in the mirror and like practicing that practice these one liners, but you’re so right, that people will play off for you.

So, if we’re, if you’re kind of like, quiet about it, like, Oh, I’m just I’m not drinking right now. I don’t, I don’t know, it’s kind of had a problem or, you know, like, we just kind of or that they’ll kind of say, it’ll come on. You weren’t that bad. Just 4. Do you know what I mean? So, it does, it makes a difference.

But if you walk in there with your head held high, even if you’re not feeling quite, but you put your head held high. I’m not drinking. Yeah, I haven’t gotten. I haven’t drink in 30 days, I feel great. And I don’t know, I’m just going to keep it going. I don’t know what’s going to happen. But you just you speak excited about it.

Yeah, they’re not going to knock you they’re not going to, you know that maybe they’ll bust your balls. I don’t know that we kind of friends, but for the most part, people are going to then just be like, okay, you know, like, that’s great, good for you. Or maybe they’ll ask more questions, maybe they won’t. And it’s not also to like not everyone’s going to believe that you had a problem. And that’s why it’s important for you to just go off your intuition and what you feel like.

I tried to tell my mom who I love that I had a problem. I don’t live near. I’ve lived away from home forever. And she was like, well, just straight class or drink water in between. That was always our thing. My mom’s never struggled with alcohol. So, she didn’t quite get it. And now, she was like, oh my god, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize and like, well, I didn’t tell you that. What I, how I felt at 3am when I woke up telling myself I was horrible, or how I would black out. Pretty much every time I drank. I didn’t say that. So, people might not understand.

So, trying to just have your own why and your, you know, feeling of why you’re doing this just at least in your heart. You don’t have to share with them. And yeah, presenting it in a way so that they don’t feel bad for you. So, they’re just like, oh, okay, great. That’s sounds like a good thing you’re doing.

Casey McGuire Davidson  1:03:53

Absolutely. And, you know, we talked about this earlier, but just remember, when you’re nervous about this, that 41% of Americans are trying to drink less in 2024. So, you know, most of the reactions I’ve gotten when I was around big drinkers in the beginning was Oh, my God, I could never do that. Or, Oh, I hate that. But that’s okay. They can say that. And again, they are the people who came to me later, and were like, So how’d you do that? How’s it feel? You know, I’ve been thinking about it.

Megan Wilcox  1:04:35

Yeah, I still get calls like that every once in a while, or I’ll see some maybe in the town, which I don’t I don’t go out early at all. I am very I’m an introvert, surprisingly, and I stay home a lot. Unless I’m hosting a retreat around the world, but people will just get I haven’t heard from them in forever. And it’ll be like, Well, yeah, so clearly, they’ve been following me. And they’ll be like, so yeah, I’m thinking about taking a break or, you know, I’ve been trying to cook back, but it’s true. I mean, the majority of people I do feel like, they’re not like, not everybody has consequences from drinking, whether it is a hangover. You know, I don’t want to say everybody hates being like, but the majority of people who do drink, at least they’re having, they’re probably having a hangover. They’re probably regretting the next day, like, Oh, my God, what did I say? I’m going to my boss at that work dinner last night? You know, it’s, a lot of people do. Struggle, they just don’t talk about it.

Casey McGuire Davidson  1:05:32

And so yeah, be that anyone who is a big drinker, they have the 3am wakeups. You just do you physically do. And, you know, they may never tell you that they’re worried about their drinking. But if they are a big drinker, I suspect they’re worried about their drinking in some way, shape, or form or working really hard to moderate it.

Megan Wilcox  1:05:57

Yeah, absolutely. And I just wanted to mention, too, that it’s really going to help who you’re surrounding yourself with. And it just simply put as much energy into your sobriety and your mission of trying to not drink as you get into your drinking, you know, think of all the scheming we did, and just all the energy. And the energy for the hangovers, the energy for the drinking, the energy of planning to drink all that, put all of that or even half of that energy into your sober journey and your alcohol-free journey, whatever you want to call it, you know, like, get immersed in a group and, and show up and try to share, maybe not at first, that’s okay. But just keep going at least, and listening, try new things, go find new hobbies, like keep yourself busy, and keep yourself just surrounded with people that are trying to better themselves in their life. And whether it is like taking a course like going back to school taking an online course. And that was something for me that just kept me focused and excited about my future was I got my health coaching certification in the first you know, like 6 months, and that definitely just kept my mind off of, you know, the not drinking and cravings and things like that.

So, it makes a huge difference when you do it alone. It’s just miserable, and you’re white knuckling it. So really try it. There’s so many communities out there, there’s so many just groups of people these days, thankfully, at least virtually, that, and just do it. You won’t regret it. Yeah.

Casey McGuire Davidson  1:07:23

And if you have tried something, and it hasn’t worked, that so many of us have done that I actually just hit eight years alcohol free. And I was reflecting on the fact that two nights ago, was eight years before that was the last time I drank. And it was a night like any other for me, I was a daily drinker.

So, you know, drank too much on the couch, didn’t remember going to bed, woke up at 3am scrolled through the not drinking sober Facebook group I’ve been a member of for 3 years. And that next day, I emailed a Coach to join 100 day challenge for the first time. And it was just that one more layer of support. Even though I had been a member of this group for 3 years, I had gone to and tried. I had read all the books. I’ve been listening to the podcast. If you want to take a break from drinking, and you haven’t yet, all that means is you have not found the right level of support yet. So, just adding one new tool can be the difference. And you may not know on that last day one. That that’s what it is you just keep putting one foot in front of the other and on day five or day 12 Or day 30. When you usually break.

You just don’t break that day. You want to drink, you crave drinking, and you do something else. Instead, you get a milkshake. You go to sleep, you take a walk, you watch bad TV and are super resentful that you’re not drinking. But that’s how you get to 8 years or 3 years, right?

Megan Wilcox  1:09:11

Absolutely. How about everybody who’s listening? Let’s hear it for Casey and 8 year.

Casey McGuire Davidson  1:09:15

Yesterday, so exciting.

Megan Wilcox  1:09:19

Like, oh, gosh, I just I look forward to that really because I’m like man, in the next five years, what can I accomplish? I know it’s more than I would if I was drinking. So, just huge kudos to you and congratulations.

Casey McGuire Davidson  1:09:37

Well, and just in case anyone wonders. My last time I started I had not made it past day four in two years. So you just don’t know when your last day one is. So just because you have not succeeded in the past. does not mean you won’t now and also does not mean means that it’s not worth it because it is and it will not always be this hard. I mean, it’s exciting to hit eight years, but it’s also kind of just another day. And I, I do want to celebrate it so I like got myself a Reiki session and went out to brunch with my daughter and posted on the socials. And but that was because you need to celebrate that stuff and you need to continue to embrace it as a power move and as a positive thing in your life.

Megan Wilcox  1:10:31

Yeah, absolutely. I love it. And just think about it as the greatest opportunity to follow through on all the things that you said think about while you were drinking all the dreams, you had all the goals you had sitting there scrolling, you know, just being jealous of everybody else and the things they’re doing with their life. Now you have the opportunity to just make this the greatest decision that you ever made.

Casey McGuire Davidson  1:10:55

If you choose that does help you get stuck and you will be amazed at all the things you will do with the time, money and energy that you are currently spending on drinking hangovers, worrying about your drinking, stopping and starting all of that mind space and energy is opened up for new interests and new inspiration and new activities. Even if those new activities are reading a novel and taking a nap.

Megan Wilcox  1:11:31

That is awesome to see. Absolutely, I agree.

Casey McGuire Davidson  1:11:33

Well, thank you so much for being here. I love talking with you. I love what you’re doing. Well, you tell everyone how they can find you follow you work with you.

Megan Wilcox  1:11:45

Yeah, absolutely. You guys can find me @sobahsisters. Instagram, I’m always there hanging out. Send me a DM. I will give you a little voice message back. Let me know you listen to our episode here. I’d love to chat with you. Also, I have the sober sisters empowerment Club, which is a club for women to feel empowered and sobriety and just overall in life. And you could check out my podcast too, if you’d like as well. So, this is just the podcast.

Thank you so much for having me, Casey.

Casey McGuire Davidson  1:12:16

Yeah, thank you.