15 Ways To Keep Your Sober Motivation Going When You’re Quitting Drinking

If you’ve ever tried to stop drinking or take a longer break from alcohol you know how hard it can be to put together 2 weeks or 30 days or 4 months of sobriety. 

Sober momentum is precious and often difficult to get. So when you have a foothold in alcohol-free life, how do you keep your sober motivation going strong? 

The fear of losing steam, falling off the wagon or becoming unmotivated to stay on the sober path is real.  So let’s talk about the very best strategies to keep your sober motivation high.

Brad McLeod, the creator of the incredibly popular Sober Motivation Instagram account and host of the Sober Motivation Podcast joined me to talk about where to find inspiration and motivation to stay on the sobriety path.  

15 ways to keep your sober motivation high as you navigate alcohol-free life

➡️ Remind Yourself of Your “Why”: I always encourage women to write down in your early days both why you want to stop drinking (what do you want to stop feeling and doing and experiencing because of alcohol) and also what you want instead. What do you want to feel and experience in your life once you have more time, money and energy because you’ve ditched drinking? Keep your “why” front and center.

➡️ Set and Update Goals: Don’t think about “forever” or “never drinking again” when you’re just getting started on the alcohol-free path, but do set smaller, achievable goals. Great goals to start with might be hitting one month sober, then 2 months and 100 days alcohol-free. You can extend that goal to six months and one year of sobriety and also add in other goals that align with your new healthy life. I set a goal to run a 10K race when I stopped drinking. New achievements can keep your sober motivation high.

➡️ Stay Accountable: Share your sobriety goals, progress and challenges with people who get it. This can be your family, therapist or best friend. It’s also helpful to share your goals and stay accountable to a sober community. You can find a community through my Sobriety Starter Kit course, or another online group. They are there to keep you on the sober path, cheer you on when you hit new milestones and support you when you’re tempted to drink or have a slip.

➡️ Celebrate Milestones: Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. Each day, week, or month of sobriety is a significant victory. Reward yourself in healthy ways. I highly suggest getting yourself a 30-Day touchstone gift of a bracelet or necklace that is meaningful to you. It can be a daily reminder of the path you’re on and why it is good and important.

➡️ Visualize Success: Continue to imagine the positive outcomes of your sobriety. Picture the life you want to lead and how it will improve as you stay sober.

➡️ Lean on Your Support Network: Your friends, family, and support groups can provide encouragement for your recovery path and motivation to stay sober. Surround yourself with people who understand and support your journey.

➡️ Engage in Positive Activities: Fill your time with activities and hobbies you enjoy. This can help prevent boredom and reduce the temptation to go back to drinking. It can be playing guitar, painting, running, yoga, spending time with your children, gardening or anything at all that helps you love life without alcohol.

➡️ Stay Informed: Keep educating yourself about addiction, recovery, and the benefits of sobriety. Learning more about the topic can reinforce your commitment. Listen to The Hello Someday Podcast or The Sober Powered Podcast. Read Alcohol Explained by William Porter or This Naked Mind by Annie Grace.

➡️ Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself and acknowledge that setbacks can happen. Don’t be too hard on yourself if you have a slip; instead, use it as a learning experience and a chance to recommit to your sobriety. If your sober motivation is slipping listen to this Hello Someday Podcast Episode on the Three Stages Of Relapse.

➡️ Maintain a Healthy Lifestyle: Eating well, getting regular exercise, and getting enough sleep can help keep your physical and mental health in good shape, which in turn can boost your motivation. Here are six healthy habits you need in recovery.

➡️ Go back to remember how you felt on Day 1: I encourage everyone to write down in early sobriety why they want to stop drinking. What they want to stop feeling. As you get further away it’s hard to recall, but there is a very good reason you wanted to stop drinking. Here’s why I stopped drinking.

➡️ Use Affirmations: I’m a vision board girl and I’ve found that positive affirmations can keep you motivated and replace the negative thought patterns in your head. Put phrases that speak to you where you’ll see them. Journal or read affirmations daily. They will help! You can download my free Ultimate Sober Vision Board Kit to get started.

➡️ Look Into Therapy: When I was 4 months sober I experienced a huge wave of anxiety and realized that since I wasn’t drinking to self-medicate myself I needed some professional help. I talked to my doctor and found a great therapist who helped me work through how to navigate the ups and downs of life without numbing out. If you find it challenging to stay motivated, consider working with a therapist or counselor who specializes in addiction.

➡️ Stay Present: Practice mindfulness and stay focused on the present moment. This can help you manage cravings and avoid becoming overwhelmed by the prospect of staying sober indefinitely.

➡️ Stay Engaged With Other People On The Alcohol-Free Path: Connect with people on the alcohol-free life path regularly. That can be online communities or programs, recovery support group meetings, therapy, or listening to sobriety podcasts. Touching base with other people in recovery can keep your sober motivation going strong. 

In this episode, Brad and I jump into:

What motivates us to stay on the sobriety path every day

How to navigate unsupportive people and social environments when you stop drinking

Why those “before and after” pictures of people who stopped drinking are so motivating

How hearing other people’s stories of addiction and recovery can keep your sober motivation high

Why your motivation and resolve to stay sober can ebb and flow and how to keep going even when you don’t feel like it

The awesome thing about hitting new sober milestones and how to celebrate your progress every step of the way

The huge benefit sobriety that no one tells you 

3 Ways I Can Support You In Drinking Less + Living More

Join The Sobriety Starter Kit, the only sober coaching course designed specifically for busy women. 

My proven, step-by-step sober coaching program will teach you exactly how to stop drinking  — and how to make it the best decision of your life.

Save your seat in my FREE MASTERCLASS, 5 Secrets To Successfully Take a Break From Drinking 

Grab the Free 30-Day Guide To Quitting Drinking, 30 Tips For Your First Month Alcohol-Free.

Connect with me for free sober coaching tips, updates + videos on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest and TikTok @hellosomedaysober.

Connect with Brad McLeod

Brad McLeod is the creator of sober motivation, host of the Sober Motivation Podcast where guests share their sobriety stories in hopes to inspire others about what is possible. In 2022, the Sober Motivation network reached over 120 million individuals.  

Follow Sober Motivation on Instagram @sobermotivation

Learn more about Brad and Sober motivation, head to www.sobermotivationmedia.com 

Listen to the Sober Motivation Podcast on Apple Podcast

Follow Sober Is Cool on Facebook

Connect with Casey

Take a screenshot of your favorite episode, post it on your Instagram and tag me @caseymdavidson and tell me your biggest takeaway!

Want to read the full transcript of this podcast episode? Scroll down on this page.


Are you looking for the best sobriety podcast for women? The Hello Someday Podcast was created specifically for sober curious women and gray area drinkers ready to stop drinking, drink less and change their relationship with alcohol.

Host Casey McGuire Davidson, a certified life and sobriety coach and creator of The 30-Day Guide to Quitting Drinking and The Sobriety Starter Kit Sober Coaching Course, brings together her experience of quitting drinking while navigating work and motherhood, along with the voices of experts in personal development, self-care, addiction and recovery and self-improvement. 

Whether you know you want to stop drinking and live an alcohol-free life, are sober curious, or are in recovery this is the best sobriety podcast for you.

A Top 100 Mental Health Podcast, ranked in the top 0.5% of podcasts globally with over 1 million downloads, The Hello Someday Podcast is the best sobriety podcast for women.

In each episode, Casey will share the tried and true secrets of how to drink less and live more.

Learn how to let go of alcohol as a coping mechanism, how to shift your mindset about sobriety and change your drinking habits, how to create healthy routines to cope with anxiety, people pleasing and perfectionism, the importance of self-care in early sobriety, and why you don’t need to be an alcoholic to live an alcohol-free life. 

Be sure to grab the Free 30-Day Guide To Quitting Drinking right here.

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Sober Motivation – How To Get It And How To Keep It Going with Brad McLeod


drinking, people, sober, day, motivation, alcohol, story, life, feel, motivated, struggling, podcast, live, sobriety, share, love, journey, years, thought, incredible, alcohol-free, recovery, take action, quitting drinking, vulnerable, putting it out there, accountability


SPEAKERS: Casey McGuire Davidson + Brad McLeod


Welcome to the Hello Someday Podcast, the podcast for busy women who are ready to drink less and live more. I’m Casey McGuire Davidson, ex-red wine girl turned life coach helping women create lives they love without alcohol. But it wasn’t that long ago that I was anxious, overwhelmed, and drinking a bottle of wine and night to unwind. I thought that wine was the glue, holding my life together, helping me cope with my kids, my stressful job and my busy life. I didn’t realize that my love affair with drinking was making me more anxious and less able to manage my responsibilities.

In this podcast, my goal is to teach you the tried and true secrets of creating and living a life you don’t want to escape from.

Each week, I’ll bring you tools, lessons and conversations to help you drink less and live more. I’ll teach you how to navigate our drinking obsessed culture without a buzz, how to sit with your emotions when you’re lonely or angry, frustrated or overwhelmed, how to self soothe without a drink, and how to turn the decision to stop drinking from your worst case scenario to the best decision of your life.

I am so glad you’re here. Now let’s get started.

Hi there. Today, we are talking about


Sober Motivation, how to get it and how to keep it going.


You may know my guest is Brad McLeod. He’s the creator of Sober Motivation, the huge Instagram community and also the host of the Sober Motivation podcast, where guests share their sobriety story in hopes to inspire others about what is possible.


In 2022, the sober motivation network reached over 120 million individuals. That’s crazy.


Brad, welcome.



Yes, thank you so much for having me.


Casey McGuire Davidson  02:02

That’s a huge read. What do you think brings so many people to your work?



Well, I mean, a big part of it is the stories that are submitted, people really enjoy hearing the stories and people really enjoy sharing their stories about how they found a different way to live. And from, you know, for everybody, I’ve heard a better way to live, have yet to hear somebody disappointed with themselves for the decision to give up drinking.


Casey McGuire Davidson  02:28

So, yeah, I love your Instagram page. And one of the things that I love seeing the most, and they really motivated me in the beginning was those before and after’s. So, people holding up the science when they hit 1 year sober or 6 months, and just talking about how their lives are different.



Yeah, for sure to see the change and what people are able to accomplish. And there’s this big thing about in recovery and sobriety and alcohol-free. That opportunities really started to come our way that we never expected. And it’s not necessarily that we have to do anything massively different. It’s really removing that one thing, opens up the door for things to really change. And that’s what’s incredible hearing people’s stories that come from all walks of life and all kinds of backgrounds, be able to start working on their goals and achieving things that they’re so surprised of, and grateful for, every day.


Casey McGuire Davidson  03:22

Yeah, I mean, it’s amazing to see not only do people look to physically different sometimes when they stopped drinking, but also how they just I found it too, like new interests come up new habit, start to appear that you had no idea that you might explore.



Oh, for sure. 100%. And that was the whole way that the Sober Motivation came about. I’ll give you a little bit of the backstory.


So, I was working as a Counselor, as a Case Manager at a Treatment Center here in Canada after I got things figured out. On my end, I had this goal of going back to school and hopefully using my experience and journey to make a difference in other people’s lives. And I was naïve.

I was younger, and I was naïve in a sense that my experience would do that. I mean, there is some element to where that is helpful. But I work with teens, I worked with teenagers for the most part in the beginning. So, I mean, teenagers know everything. So, telling them something. It was tough. So, then I quit that job. My wife was pregnant with our first child. And she was off work. She was going to be out, and she was already off work. I think she took an extra month before she had her first child, and I went to work, and I had this crippling anxiety that was affecting me physically. And I had been feeling this here and there for this job for a while, so I went into work on a Sunday, and I typed up a resignation letter and I put it in my boss’s box, and it was really here because I didn’t know what else I was going to do. We had the kid, the mortgage, the car, pets.


Yeah, it was, it was scary. But at that point, you know, when I reflect back, it was scary to do that. But it was, for some reason, that day, it was scary to stay the same. It was just scarier to just kind of like, it almost brought me back to the quitting. Everything else is. It was really scary to walk away from it. But like, it was really scary to stay in the same place. And then I saw, you know, when I got sober, I had that window of clarity, that moment of opportunity to where maybe the for once, the scales tip.


So, I had this vision of I want to like, I want to help people, work with people, and try to make a difference, because I really had a lot of passion for people getting sober and people improving their life. And I’ve seen what it could do in my life, and others. And I was like, this is just, we got to get to the internet with this stuff.


We got to get to Facebook. So, I created this Facebook group called Recovery for the beginner. And we had like, 10,000 new members in the first couple of months. And I was like, maybe there’s something here, right. But there’s no like, having a Facebook group. There’s no income, there’s just a lot of maintenance. And things evolved. And I was sharing my story online and Instagram and stuff for a couple of years. I had a few different Ventures. A lot of things didn’t work out. But I got tired of hearing my own story and sharing my own story for years. Right? Like what else can you? What else can you uncover? That might interest people?


That’s what I had this idea of sharing other people’s stories, I said, Well, what if we share other people’s stories and give them a place, too? Otherwise, they might not be able to really get the shared and feel like people hear it and appreciate it. And it’s helpful.


You know, people love to share their stories for themselves, but also to help other people see that they can get through it. So, my started as accounts Sober Motivation. My first follow was my wife. And here we go. We’re off into the world to try to collect these inspiring stories.


Casey McGuire Davidson  07:03

And I was just today 182,000 followers. So clearly, there are a lot of people out there who need that inspiration or love seen it to keep going.



Yeah, and that’s the thing, too. And on Facebook, there’s over 700,000 people to pay just called difference. Somebody has the do they had them. So, we’re motivation tag. So, it’s called sober. It’s cool. Yeah, I just kind of came up with that. And it stuck. And people are like, Yeah, it’s cool. It’s cool. So, I was like, alright, well, I guess that’s where we’re going to go with it. But yeah, that’s kind of like the backstory, but how things started.


And then last year, I had seen everybody do podcasts you do in podcasts, and a lot of other people did podcasts. And I said, you know, how can we maybe do this differently? So, I had this vision for this podcast, you know, maybe where some people start, wow, we’re going to get celebrities on here and, you know, share those stories. And we, I have had a lot of people, I’ve been privileged to have a lot of people on there that might be that.


But you know, now it’s transformed after 100 episodes in the first year, it’s really transformed into, you know, everybody sharing their story. People might otherwise not get an opportunity to share their story. And my goodness, it’s ,I’ve fallen in love with that aspect of things.


Casey McGuire Davidson  08:21

Yeah, you know, what’s interesting, and I’ve seen this just over the years as well, you know, from celebrities to just regular people to my story, regardless, like, of what our circumstances are a lot of the emotions and the fears and the process of giving up alcohol or drugs are very similar.



Yeah, I would say they’re exactly the same. I would say, it’s right there. Really pretty doggone close. Yeah.


Casey McGuire Davidson  08:50

Yeah. That’s so cool. So, who have you had on your podcast? That Oh, that are celebrities. I’m just curious.



Yeah, I would say, I don’t know, favorites, the word that I can use. But I would say one really interesting person that I’ve been able to connect with is Brad Garrett. Everybody Loves Raymond, everybody kind of grew up with that. In looking into his story, I didn’t know anything about it before I jumped on the Zoom call 8pm Eastern time with him. And I was like, hey, like, nice to meet you on here. Like I really I just started my show at the time. And I didn’t expect him to say yes to it.


So, I was in this little, this little pickle here and I sit down. I’m really nervous man. And he’s like, Yeah, me too. And I was like, okay, you know, I just, my shoulders just dropped at that point. Because I’m like, Yes, we’re, we’re on the same playing field here. And just really interesting story in how, you know, see how without the sobriety, a lot of people share they wouldn’t ever be able to accomplish what they did. And I never knew this about him, but he’s pretty much the voice of every Disney character that we’ve ever seen. What’s cool, yeah, like from attitude II to everything when I looked it up, I mean, not actually every character but he’s in a ton of these movies is a voice guy. And it’s just been good to build the connection with him sort of outside of the podcast. And that’s another part I really enjoy about it is because you hear these people’s stories real, raw, and vulnerable stories about their journey, and you can’t help but connect with them in such a bigger way than just sharing their pictures on Instagram. Yeah.


Casey McGuire Davidson  10:26

Yeah, I love that too. And you know what’s interesting, I mean, I am a fan of when you’re getting started, whatever motivates you to take a period of time away from alcohol. I mean, I don’t care if it’s, you’re just sick and tired of being sick and tired, or you want to have your skin look better, or you want to, you know, stop forgetting what the shows you watched at night, like, it doesn’t matter to me, anything that motivates you isn’t enough to get started. And then, in my mind, as you get further away, you feel so much better. But when I did a whole episode on Sober Celebrities, one of the reasons I like it is because they immediately reach so many people to be like, Oh, I actually don’t drink. And that’s okay, you know, and for me, you know, I’m Gen X, I kind of grew up with various people. But I remember when Drew Barrymore or Kelly Ripa, or other people like that came out at Dell just now saying, or, you know, hey, I don’t drink and that to some people gives them some cover to be like, oh, yeah, I’m going to try it as well. Do you know what I mean?



Yeah, for sure. I think a lot of a lot of us look up to certain people, right? And maybe not aspire to be like, then some people do for the rock stars and stuff, right? Oh, rock star. And in that culture and stuff, that it’s really prevalent. But yeah, having somebody that we look up to share that story in that, you know, that they go through stuff, a lot of things that I’ve learned through talking with people to that we might consider celebrities is that they go through, like you mentioned before, a lot of the same stuff. And they have a lot of a lot of pitfalls, maybe that us as you know, sitting here due to this podcast might not have right, the cameras are on for them.


Yeah, all the time. And there’s people following them around and they’re watching and they’re documenting their journeys and their stories of whether it be struggling with alcohol or even sobriety in if things don’t go as we, as they might want it to. There’s a lot more eyes that are watching then might be for, you know, for me, right. So that’s a lot of added pressure. But they do go through all the same emotions. I mean, as humans, there’s this set of emotions that we’re going to go through, and I think that’s so important to pay attention to that, you know, they can figure it out with all this stuff. And a lot of people have a lot of scrappy journey to the top. It’s not always maybe the way we perceive it, it’s, it’s really tough to get to that, you know, to that level, right? And to maintain it. Like, it’s even harder to maintain it and to stay around.


So, I had Cheryl Burke on to Dancing with the Stars. She did a ton of seasons there and get a really cool story. Another really cool story is Jake, the snake people love that episode, the from the wrestling episode.


I was going to say, I don’t know who he is.


Oh, my Yeah, I mean, I wasn’t a wrestling fan ever really, or definitely not when he was wrestling, but he had this snake. And this was a crazy show. And it’s just like the rise in the fall. And then just it really struggling with stuff too. Right? You come you come from a background with not money, many resources, and then you all of a sudden they’re getting a ton of resources. What do you do with it?


All right. Yeah. Yeah.


Casey McGuire Davidson  13:59

And I think it’s interesting because it can work two ways. One, for a lot of people. It’s super interesting. And the stories of the crash in the redemption and how much your life gets better, can be incredibly inspiring. And it also conserve, for some to be sort of a justification, why they don’t need to stop drinking to be like, Well, I’m not that bad, or I haven’t done that. And therefore, it’s no big deal that, for example, I’m passing out on the couch, which was, which was me, you know, a couple nights a week, my husband couldn’t wake me up.


So, I think what I like about what you do on your podcast is, you share all the stories, right, the, you know, the big, epic, interesting ones, and just the sort of what I described for myself as the sort of death of 1,000 cuts, where you sort of decide, all right, I love drinking. But I know it’s dragging me down.



Yeah, though so true. And I have my one good buddy he’s on east on Think You Can Dance in Holland name’s Dan Kennedy just wrote a book. It’s incredible. But he shares that story too. He was on top of the world he used to do, he used to go on tour with Britney Spears he used to do within Santa key, used to do all of that stuff. And he was on top of the world, everything in his life was good. The money was there. On the outside looking in, you would not have suspected the internal turmoil the battle with alcohol that was going on. So yeah, and then you paint that you and everybody we can probably all relate to this in some part of our lives, too, is that when people mentioned stuff, you’re not able to add it up? Right? Why would you say I have to quit this, look at this list, this laundry list of everything I am doing well, off my back, get off my back it off my there, you know, so that, but that type of thing can definitely keep us stuck, right? If we don’t sort of truly get honest, I think with the impact it’s having on our life.


Casey McGuire Davidson  16:15

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I remember even going to my therapist. And you know, I chose my therapist, because I was worried about my drinking. And yet I go there and I’m like, I’m still killing it at work, I’m a great wife, I do all these things, I’d make sure I set the coffee. But you know, before I have my third glass of wine and the dishes are done, and I said to her, I’m only hurting myself, you know, with the idea that I’m taking care of everything else. And therefore, this is not a big deal. And that was crazy. Because you do get really defensive and you have all these external reasons why, you know, nothing to see here.



Yeah, and that’s why I try I try my best to mentioned to people try to give yourself 30 Or 60 Or 90 days, I know it’s overwhelmingly daunting it sometimes, but give yourself a little bit because I don’t know if you can truly see the impact that alcohol is having on our life, when you’re dancing with it. When you’re right there when you’re fully engaged with it, it could because you’re disconnected from that. That part of life and understanding the clarity is not there.


So, I always suggest, if you, well, I mean even deeper than that, if you’re thinking you have a problem, then or you’re thinking that things could be better is it maybe it’s not identified as a problem at first. But if you’re thinking that your life could be better in one way or another without it, then maybe jump into that because I’ve never had one single thought that I have a problem with gambling and gambling is a very real addiction that a lot of people struggle with. And it will. It will ruin your entire life of yours, your families and everybody around you. But I’ve and I’ll get scratch tickets here and there and bet a gamble on sports here and there. But I’ve never thought about it. So, I always say, when I get incoming messages, like if you’re thinking about this, and you’re following the sober page, I’m not wanting to diagnose or tell people what to do, or how to do it, or any of that stuff by se, maybe just take a look at 30 days or 60 days, in the most important part of that is not the duration of time, but it’s how honest you’re willing to be with yourself to say, you know, I am checking all these boxes in life, but I still feel like something’s missing. It sounds like that’s kind of what you described, right? You’re moving and shaken. I mean, there’s a lot of us out there who move and shake and do really well in a lot of areas of our life, do really good and get everything done. But I did that when I reflect back to my journey and my story. I did all that stuff. So that in my mind, my reach, I could get my reward. I over achieved in every area. So that when it came to it, I knew what I was doing wasn’t serving me. But it was justified because I’m doing more than everybody else. And I probably did do a lot more than people around me, but I did it so that I could keep others off my back. While I got my time.


Casey McGuire Davidson  19:22

You know, my drinking 100% I mean, when you were saying that I was nodding my head because so many of us who are sort of high achievers, we’re overcompensating and doing all the things so a we have a reason to drink right? Oh my God, look at everything I’m doing. Anyone with this schedule with this responsibility would have you know, that in my world, a glass of wine slash bottle at the end of the day, but also when you wake up hungover, hey, there’s nothing to see here. Everything is still going, you can’t tell me that I’m not, you know, keeping all the balls in the air and yet it is making it so much harder to cope with life.


Casey McGuire Davidson 


Hi there. If you’re listening to this episode, and have been trying to take a break from drinking, but keep starting and stopping and starting again, I want to invite you to take a look at my on demand coaching course, The Sobriety Starter Kit.


The Sobriety Starter Kit is an online self study sober coaching course that will help you quit drinking and build a life you love without alcohol without white knuckling it or hating the process. The course includes the exact step by step coaching framework I work through with my private coaching clients, but at a much more affordable price than one on one coaching. And the sobriety starter kit is ready, waiting and available to support you anytime you need it. And when it fits into your schedule. You don’t need to work your life around group meetings or classes at a specific day or time.

This course is not a 30 day challenge, or a one day at a time approach. Instead, it’s a step by step formula for changing your relationship with alcohol. The course will help you turn the decision to stop drinking, from your worst case scenario to the best decision of your life.

You will sleep better and have more energy, you’ll look better and feel better. You’ll have more patience and less anxiety. And with my approach, you won’t feel deprived or isolated in the process. So if you’re interested in learning more about all the details, please go to www.sobrietystarterkit.com. You can start at any time and I would love to see you in the course 



Yeah, 100% it always feels like the when’s the other shoe going to drop? Like it? Oh, you’ve got it together. But I always had that thought in the back of my head that like this, eventually the bottom is going to fall out of this because it’s a resiliency two factor of when we struggle, like how do you go through, waking up hungover every day, start your day off for you sort of in a negative bank account every single day, but we get up. We make sense of it all by lunch, and we’re planning the next one. And it really takes resilient people to go through that. And that’s why I mentioned the people that are like, hey, I want to, you know, get sober. I said, Look, get sober. Getting alcohol-free is going to be hard. But my goodness, the life we’re living now, it’s hard to. it’s not like, it’s an easy one to live. It’s both. Both are hard. We can do both.


Casey McGuire Davidson  21:06

Yeah, no, and one gets easier, right? As you walk away from drinking, as you get further away from it, you realize how much harder it was making your life and that you can navigate with more ease. I love what you said, when we’re talking about sober motivation, about just looking at 30 days, 60, day 90 day, and I think it is enough to get curious and excited. And to treat it as an experiment. Like when you’re starting out, that can be enough motivation to get started to say, I feel like alcohol is like affecting my sleep. I feel like it’s making me feel more overwhelmed, more anxious, I’m going to take a break, and see whether I feel better without it. Like if that’s your level of motivation. That’s plenty.



Yeah, for sure. Yeah, start anywhere, you got to just get started, you have to get started, nothing changes, if nothing changes, right? It’s so interesting to when people reach out about getting sober. And that, you know, I my first thought is to is what is the person on the other side of the phone? Or wherever it is computer? Like what are you willing to do to change where you’re at? Because we could rhyme off and list a bunch of things and probably come up with a list of 100 things that we’ve seen work for people or people have shared that work or we know that work or that are from our own experience. But to dive even deeper is what is the letter U is the other person the individual who’s curious about going alcohol free? Or getting sober? What are you willing to do differently than you’re doing right now on? You brought up a really good one earlier therapy for people, you know, to kind of to do something like that, or there’s, there’s coaching opportunities out there, or there’s, there’s fellowship groups out there, or there’s, there’s so many different things. But that’s I think what it really comes down to is so what are you as the individual willing to, to do for your life? You know, are you willing to, to do some of these things, you know, because how to, you know, how to get sober was, you ask 10 different people, you might get 10 different answers, and then you’re just left confused.


Casey McGuire Davidson  23:18

Yeah. And I feel like it is different for every single person, sort of the level of support that they need, the level of help and accountability and sort of the guardrails they need. So, like you said, we can suggest all the different things that work for people. But if you’re trying to stop drinking, and you get four or five days and your motivation fades, then at some point, you have to add more yet, you know, like doing the exact same thing and getting the same result isn’t working for you?



Yeah, for sure. Yeah. You have to explore have to explore different areas and be willing to try different thing, but also to and you can some people might try one thing three years ago, and then they’re they’ve come back around and say I want to give it another go. I always kind of think about when I first tried tomatoes, I hated tomatoes. Now I love them. I get this tomato bacon, Mayo, salt, pepper. I mean, it’s the most beautiful thing ever. And sometimes you have to have a different mindset or different perspective going in to trying things differently. You know, I did I used to do fellowship groups. Well, you know, after rehab, that was a big part of the program. And I would always be the guy at the back that never got involved that just scooted out right before the meeting ended. I was gone. I didn’t want to risk anybody asking any questions, right? I showed up a little bit late, so I didn’t have to hang out and pour a cup of coffee. And what I realized looking back is, I just wasn’t getting anything out of it because I just really wasn’t putting myself out there.


You know, it wasn’t and then when I was able to go back, you know many. He moves later and really get involved in, it’d be part of something, then I started to see, you know, the benefits. So, that’s definitely, you know, check it out what you feel comfortable with and what you’re willing to get into right? And just give it a go. I mean, at the end of the day, what do you got to lose the you know, that’s the other way is, what do you got to lose a couple, couple hangouts with a couple buddies that you’re going to end up in the same place. You’ve always been, you know, a lot of people share too, right? They, even before they gave up drinking, they went out for one last one last party. And I always ask him, I was I said, was it all what you envisioned it to be? Was it any different than the last 100 times? And the answer has never been different, that the answer has always been no, it was exactly the same. And it’s almost that thing, like carry that forward. You feel like you’re missing out on something. Okay, carry play the tape all the way through. You’re going to go to the next bash, you’re going to go to the next party. Is it going to be any different? No. So let’s get started.


Casey McGuire Davidson  26:03

Yeah, yeah. And you don’t realize how much your life can transform and change when you stop doing the exact same thing every single day? Yeah. Well, so what motivated you in the beginning to get sober? And what kept you motivated? A year later, two years later, three years later? Yeah.



Oh, incredible question. That’s It’s really strange about the wholesome motivation thing, because I’m not a massively motivational type of person.


And what I mean by that is, I think it’s Zig Ziglar.


That said,

motivation is like bathing or showering. It’s required daily. And I think that that’s where we missed the mark sometimes.


And we also, I think, I know I missed the mark before, because I thought I had to be motivated to take action. What I realize now is that I have to take action to be motivated.

I was waiting around. I was waiting around to be motivated, like, it was just going to, I don’t know, jump out of the TV or something at me. And looking back now, what I see is that you, I’ve got to start moving, if I have interest to get motivated. So, that’s really one thing. But what I mean, helped me out in the beginning is that, I mean, to not to get dark and down and out here, but I was going to die from the way I was living. That was my life.


I, I had just, I just been, I was just a prison for a year, I got arrested, I got off a plane, and there’s a whole nother story. But I had this understanding and realization that I just didn’t want to live like that anymore. And I connected the dots. It was everybody else’s fault. Up until that point. Yeah. You know, and it wasn’t, it was just me all alone. And people weren’t really wanting to support the madness anymore, financially, or emotionally are everything and I mean, my folks, everybody, incredible people, and stuff, but they can’t have enough, and a lot of people aren’t enough. And I sort of had that, that moment to reflect on, you know, the, my best thinking got me here. And it’s probably not going to get me out of here, I need to get a little bit of help. And just stay motivated. I mean, with time, you start to see the benefits, you start to see the opportunities flow in. I never had any opportunities before and then I didn’t even really change too much. But the opportunity started to flow in. I was like, wow, you know, is this really what happens when you do that? Like, I have got to keep this, this going and see what the heck, you know, a couple years brings, and how things play out.


And then, I mean, I got that job, I worked that job as a counselor in case manager for six years. So, I mean, I was immense every day, day in and day out of recovery, and then also keeping my own self on track and doing trainings. And, you know, just really, you know, staying close to connected to people that were on the journey, people that understood when I was struggling. And when I’m struggling today, it’s the same thing, right? I reach out to other people and tell them what’s going on. And they don’t look at me sideways, they look at me, and they nod their head, and they say, Yeah, I hear you, man. I’ve been there. I hear you. And that’s so awful to get to get connected with other people that understand what it’s like.


Casey McGuire Davidson  29:25

Yeah. And I have to say, that’s one of the reasons that I think it’s great like your Instagram page and your podcast in this podcast, to stay reminded of why you’re doing this celebrating milestones. But also, you know, I talk to women every day who want to stop drinking. And there’s a reason they want you to stop drinking, right? You don’t hire a Sober Coach. If alcohol is working out really well for you and there’s no downside but it does take away the, how romantic, it’s positioned in marketing and in our society, that it has all these benefits of bringing you closer to your partner and making you more sophisticated and, you know, helping you cope with your kids when you talk to people on a regular basis who are struggling to get out of all the downsides, honestly.


So, I think that, like your Instagram page, sober motivation, seeing those before and after pictures, regardless of what their story was before, it’s really motivating to see the positive changes. And I think one of the benefits of sobriety that people don’t talk about, and I don’t know why we don’t is like, basically you get a second birthday. You know, like, I celebrate my sober Versary. Every single year, it is a thing. And just like my birthday, I take the day off, I buy myself like nice things. Maybe I get I post on Facebook, everybody’s wishing me well. So, you’re like, doubling your birthday by just quitting drinking?



Yeah, well, isn’t that yeah, because birthdays are great. Right? So, having two makes it even? Even better? Yeah, I love that in for sure. Yeah, people are contacting a Coach of some sort. Yeah, it’s things are probably not where they want it to be. And that’s a you know, great insight. Great. You know, first step, what do you say with all of your experience with working with people? I mean, where what roadblocks are getting in the way of stringing things together?


Casey McGuire Davidson  31:48

Yeah, well, I feel like motivation, and willpower will only get you so far. And then it goes to habit change. And you need to look at your physical and social environment and see how it’s supporting you or sabotaging you in moving forward. And small shifts, I don’t think you need to ditch your partner and your friends and your family, if they’re all big drinkers, but you do need to add new people to your life where the behavior you want, right, getting sober, being healthier, feeling more proud of yourself making this positive change is celebrated. So, they know when you’ve hit day 7, and day 14 and 30 days that might be longer than you’ve gone in 5 years. Whereas your friends who drink will be like, Oh my god, are you done with that yet? So, I think most, you’re motivated.


And then of course, there is a point where your motivation is going to ebb and flow. That’s just anyone who’s gone to the gym or tried to make another change, knows what that’s like. And then you need other things to hold you up.


So, I mean, in terms of your environment, it’s really hard to not drink if your alcohol of choice is right there on the counter. Like, for me, it was red wine, right? You see it, it’s there, it’s arm laying, you’re going to have a bad day, where you’re like, Oh, screw it, I’m going to drink. And in that moment, it’s sort of the more tangible shifts, getting the alcohol out of your house. And adding people to your life who think sobriety is awesome. They’re going to carry you through those moments that you know, you don’t quite feel like doing it to get your motivation back. What about you? What do you think?



Well, I think you listed everything there, you didn’t give me you didn’t give me anything left to talk about. I mean, I do see the challenges, right, because a lot of people you want to hang on to that thought of things are going to get better on their own, or you’re going to be able to figure it out, or you’re going to have this, this perfect moderation type thing, right. So, that’s hard to work through and family members and partners.


And yeah, there’s so many moving parts, but I think breaking it down into something that’s manageable, that you want to work on, you know, what I always say to I know that people’s partners and their families that drink and everybody has their own level of comfort coming into this thing about how much they want to share. But if you’re one of those people who really want to share about this, I think if you’re really actually honest with the people around you, about how alcohol has affected your life, you know, because you hear a lot of the stories right or the sadness of everything that gets damaged and the internal thing right, we don’t show it on the outside. Everything’s gravy. Everything’s good.


So, people don’t necessarily have that idea. But if you share with people about truly the effects of alcohol and it’s literally just destroying your life and in heaven leaving you feeling so hopeless and that you just want to quit so bad, but you can’t quit it. Maybe things would change a little bit for people. And it’s not that they’re going to like, get sober and stuff, but maybe they’ll appreciate the effort you’re putting in into things, you know, to have those really hard conversations to be really vulnerable. But also opening yourself up to that this might not always play out, according to plan, but that you might get some support from some unexpected areas, you know, because it’s really hard in the beginning a lot of people, then there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. There is not at all anything wrong with wanting it to take to be a secret, the journey you’re going on. But it for me, I had to put it out there because I was tired of it being a secret. I was tired of having a way out. I was tired of the left door cracked.


Yeah, so I could access god. Yeah, when things got hard. I was out the door. And I didn’t have that accountability. I was scared of it, right? Because I never, I didn’t want people to necessarily tell me what to do or how to live. I knew best so but when I got to a spot where I said, you know, enough is enough, because this is the reality, if I’m going to change my life, I tried it on my own, I tried to just will it through, I tried to hang on for dear life, as you see Arnold Schwarzenegger flying on the helicopter on the bottom of it, you know, through every action movie, I tried that type of stuff. And I always ended up just talking myself into another one. You know, I always ended up there. What I had to do is, I had to just really put it out there that hey, this is how this stuff is affecting my life. I can’t continue to live like this. I don’t want to continue to live like this.


And yeah, can you help me out, and a lot of people were, Hey, Brad, we tried to help you out for years, you don’t listen, I see how it’s going to be, it’s going to be different this time, though, you know, I’m going to put forth the effort. But I put myself out there. And I just found that so helpful. Because for once I was able to just close that door. And in reach out to people, and when I was struggling, whether they struggled, I had a lot of good people in my life that they were just, I mean, when it came to drinking, they take it or leave it.


You know, a lot of people are like that, right? I didn’t see that at the time. But there’s like a lot of people out there who, when you step back a bit like they go to hockey games, they don’t drink, they go to bars with other people after work, and they don’t drink, and I didn’t recognize those people. But that was so helpful for me was to say, you know, to like, truly make that conscious decision to understand, things would never change. It didn’t matter where I lived, what girlfriend I had, what friends they had, what job I had, what kind of car I was driving, or whether or not I even had a car. None of that mattered. But once I took that first drink, I just wasn’t interested in stopping. So, but I know it’s hard. I know, it’s tough to talk with oh,


Casey McGuire Davidson  38:01

I mean, it’s so brave to do that. And one thing that completely resonated with me with what you said was like leaving that door open, I definitely when I was unsuccessful, told like certain people I wasn’t drinking, but maybe I wouldn’t tell my business colleagues so that when I went on a business trip, I could drink, and they wouldn’t say anything about it. Or like, maybe I won’t tell this one group of friends. And that’s that in the back your mind just like, well, if I want to drink just in case, I’m not going to tell these people.


And so, in terms of like this episode about


sober motivation, how to get it and how to keep it.


I think the secret is that you actually need a combination of motivation, and accountability. Right? It your motivation won’t carry you through. Always because it always ebbs and flows. And in those moments, the more people that you tell that you’re not drinking, or why you’re not drinking, or that this is important to you, the easier it will be to keep going even when you’re not. I mean, I didn’t tell everyone this, but I truly felt doomed. When I was drinking, I was like, I’m going to screw up my life and my marriage and my kids and my health and it’s going to be my fault. And nobody on the outside knew that I felt that way. And you know, you tell who you’re comfortable tele and I always think of like, they’re these like code words that I kind of put out there. And then if people sort of bite, then I tell them more. But for me, it’s like, Oh, I found that I have less anxiety when I drink when I don’t drink. And then people will be like, Oh, I have to take breaks too. I have to watch it. You know, I also feel anxious. That’s that, you know, you’re putting it out there and then seeing if people resonate with that or understand what that’s like.



Yeah, no, that’s, that’s very important pieces, the right people, right? In any part of it too, for me was ruining that. That fantasy of ruining that idea that it was going to work out. And I had this one, I had this one guy who really helped me out with that. Back in the day, I used to go to celebrate recovery meeting, or three, three hour meetings, and I went with, I went, there was like five guys there. And I couldn’t. I couldn’t quit using drugs, even during this meeting in this church. And I just felt the shame and the guilt and everything big disappointment, what, you know, what are you doing with your life. And I this fellow there, we’ll call him John, just for context here. And John was a nice guy put together businessman, I mean, successful, I was young, like 21. And he knew exactly where I was at. He knew like, and he didn’t come down on me or anything like that. But he had invited me over to his house. And I was like, this is weird. I’m like, in a really bad spot in life. And this guy has invited me to go to his house. I mean, it’s everything I could have imagined in my life. One day, being right having dinner with his family and stuff. And I was like, that is the it was a really weird thing. But I don’t even know why I said yes, but I did. What happened there is that, from that point on, it really started to chip away and ruin that addiction for me. Because I’ve seen what my life could look like, because he shared his story with me, obviously, and everything was, you know, a complete disaster. And then it was it was sort of that in that set in that meeting there. When I processed it later. It just ruined the fantasy and the romanticizing about how, what I what I thought I was doing. So it was really interesting. It was another part of like, maybe stepping towards like closing that door. And but yeah, you’re 100% right on the whole thing about me relying on motivation alone, you’re not going to get where you want to go. That’s a bad idea. Really bad idea. Even if you shower daily, I mean, sometimes you might have to shower twice, if you’re, you know, working in the yard in the sun, or stop me at any point out that that’s how consistently you have to do it. In Yeah. And then sharing it with other people and getting connected with the community is is where you’re gonna gain motivation to because you mentioned even further back there about hearing people’s stories, remembering where you came from. It’s always important to never lose sight of what it was like for you. Because I mean, within a couple of days, we seem to forget or get amnesia, we forget how.


Casey McGuire Davidson  42:46

Oh, yeah, we can rationalize anything. Right? And also, for me, I mean, I was one of those girls who like blacked out grayed out a lot. So, I’m always like, Oh, it was so much fun. To be fair, I don’t remember a decent amount of it. Right? I just. And so, you have this own perception, because you’re in this bubble of what it looked like and what it seemed like and it’s hard to see that clearly.



Yeah. Oh, 100%. Yeah, well, you’re doing incredible work out there. Now lucky turn in everything you’ve been through into helping other people is incredible. Oh, well, you are too. And I think it’s really fun. I mean, I have to say I love talking to other people who are sober because they have the best stories. And they’ve done some work and they’ve come out the other side. And, you know, it’s really fun.



Yeah, same here. Yeah, I love it, we connect on that level, right? We, you nod your head you when you hear other people talk, it’s like you things might have looked a little bit different, but you can relate to how it how it feels in the end, you know, how you can kind of see through it. You kind of see through like some of this stuff and into know that hopeless feeling. And I don’t know if there’s anything worse than wanting nothing more to stop but feeling unable to or not being able to you know and committing to ourselves. More will be different than next they will be different. Next they will in you look back and say like, Man, there goes 6 years, and it was the same.


Casey McGuire Davidson  44:26

Yeah, I know. It just kind of keeps you stuck. That’s the other thing. I think Claire Puli. She wrote the sober diaries. I had her on my show. And one of the things she said that really stuck with me is she said it. It’s not so much the things I did when I was drinking that I regret because she you know, had three young kids she was you know, sort of keeping everything together on the outside. But she said it was all those, you know, nights and weekends and yours slipping through her fingers. All the times you were just barely getting through the day and not moving forward in your life like Groundhog Day.



Oh, yeah, exactly. Exactly. Yeah, that’s, that’s it. But I mean in then that’s what when you when you give it up like you get back so much time. I mean, that’s a that’s an indicator right there and itself like, oh, yeah, the sudden have like, I call it like another day like another 12 hours because the time we spend in the evening, we use we might need less time sleeping, or maybe we get a full eight hours now. But the time that we spend recovering in the morning, I mean for four and four, maybe eight hours, you know, you get back into your life, which can be. Yeah, I mean, that’s a challenge in itself right now we have all this time and we’re bored and we’re uncomfortable. But what an incredible opportunity in life to go after something that’s really important. That’s why I see a lot of people in recovery. They’re doing great things, writing books. I mean, come on who some of them are writers, but a lot of them are they’re learning as they go. And they’re writing books, and they’re getting engaged with hobbies, they’re building relationships or meeting new people. I mean, it’s like, wow, you know, what, what, what’s incredible all from one decision, there’s I don’t know if there’s anything any other single decision I can make in my life today. That would change my life as much as that one did.


Casey McGuire Davidson  46:26

Yeah. And that’s so interesting. You said that, because we’re always like, oh my god, I’m so busy. I just need one more day on the weekend. I just need some time for myself. And you don’t realize how much time you’re giving away to like drinking and hangovers. You know, you do get back I was giving away like, three, four hours every single night sort of in this haze. Just sitting around drinking wine, watching TV going through the motions. And, you know, I realized I’m a morning person, I don’t get that much done at night. But my God, it’s you know, I get up at 515 530 I get so much more done in the morning things I you know, I was barely rolling out of bed, opening my eyes being like, Oh my God, how bad is my day going to be today when I was drinking? Yeah.



No, that’s so true. And I obviously still have people in my life that drank. And, you know, it’s not up for me to say, how much or how little they’re drinking. But the comment of yeah, there’s just not enough time is so it’s so frequent. And I mean, I’ll throw out the idea there. But you know, you we convinced ourselves that as long as we’re multitasking, as long as we’re busy, the answer a lot of the same themes we talked about, as long as I’m going, it’s okay on Sunday to really get into it, as long as I’m raking the leaves and cutting the grass, like it’s okay to pop the top. It’s okay to get into it. And then we, you know, our routines and everything, our identity just becomes tied in and that’s another you know, another thing throughout the journey that we’ve got to work on, you know, recreating or rebuilding or maybe going back to how things were, you know, if anybody’s struggling with the idea of giving up drinking, it’s, I always go back to my life.


Before I had my first strength. I never thought I never thought I’d drink. And, you know, when I was 10, 12, 13, I didn’t start drinking till after high school, but I never thought of it in in I don’t know if we’ll, if we exactly get back to that place. There’s thoughts of it. And now we’re older, too. So, it’s everywhere. But you can get pretty doggone close to where it becomes so insignificant in your life. And at first seems so significant. I mean, it’s, it was the center of the solar system for, for me anyway, everything revolved around it. But that’s a thing that does happen it it fades away its power in your interest in it, you know, maybe you can relate to that, too. It just doesn’t. It doesn’t have the effect anymore.


Casey McGuire Davidson  49:04

You know, what’s so funny is some people are like, Oh my god, I can’t imagine, you know, 30 days not drinking two months not drinking. And when you were saying that I was remembering when I was 16 I went I didn’t drink either. I went on a backpacking trip through the Pacific Northwest where I live right now with like, 30 other kids for six weeks. And it was incredible. No alcohol involved. Like we were having these deep conversations and seeing these incredible places and having crushes and cooking dinners and reading books and writing in journals like all of these emotional highs and lows and tender moments and just vivid color and none of it had to do with alcohol.



Yeah, that’s the thing, isn’t it? Yeah, it gets back there. It gets that you start to see it for what it is. You know, there’s a ton more stuff coming to the surface now. And that was never really there before, to find research on the damaging effects of alcohol or trying to understand everything it was, it was really bogged down was really bogged down for stuff. So, it’s really good. I think it’s helping people to make healthier decisions. I’m loving this, that people are making decisions, you know, based on health and maybe not being a problem. And I always throw in the word yet. A lot of people live, and they don’t have a DUI don’t have this. And you know, that’s not going to be part of everybody’s story. But I mean, if you look, if you really get honest, if I really get honest with it, things were progressing.


They weren’t, they weren’t going the other way. And I don’t know, in a lot of people’s stories, too, I you know, you listen to it, and is that consistent progression, it’s kind of like 1% better every day, but 1% of you know, alcohol consuming more and more of our thoughts in our life. Every day, the longer we stay in the game, then it can happen. And when I talked with people, too, I say, do you know when the shift took place? Because a lot of us I don’t know my story to what it was good. I had a good dog on time for a bit. Yeah, it wasn’t a disaster right away. And I asked people, like, can you identify when the shift took place from when it was just like the college hangout fun, and then your, you know, your job and graduate school in most people can’t. And what’s scary about that is you never know when it’s going to happen when you’re going to go from, you know, just the regular Joe drinker to, I don’t know, I don’t want to put labels on anything, too, but it having more of an impact on your life. And yeah,


Casey McGuire Davidson  51:43

I know, I always say like, I started with a glass of wine, and then it became the bottle. What I mean, I completely agree, it is addictive, and the more you consume, you’re going to consume more, and it doesn’t get better. So one of the things that motivated me when I when I stopped drinking, my son was eight. And I was unless I was white knuckling it and trying to take a break and trying and failing. I was drinking a bottle of wine, sometimes more seven nights a week. And, you know, quote, unquote, falling asleep on the couch, aka passing out and not remembering the end of shows. And I projected that out by a decade, thinking if this is what I’m like, when he’s eight, when he’s 18, when he’s a senior in high school, is he going to want to bring his friends home, to hang out at our house, if I continue drinking, the way I’m drinking now knowing it doesn’t get better. And that was a big motivator for me to say, what kind of relationship do I want to have with him? You know, and now he’s 15. And, you know, I missed that cuddly little eight year old, but I know he’s proud of me. And I’m proud of the way I interact with him every day.



Yeah, that’s incredible. And that the looking at playing that tape even, or their forward can definitely help us, you know, because that’s going to, sometimes it seems so far away, right? I imagine 10 years like, yeah, so far away, but life moves fast. And it doesn’t stop or pause for anything or anyone, you know. Yeah. That have that vision. Yeah, I think that that I think that is a very helpful tool woman, for people to put into perspective, you know, I mean, if you’re in the spectrum to have how everything right to where we’re falling into it, right? Because when I got into this, there was the alcoholic being an alcoholic, we need to get better. And even sometimes people now right, they’re like, Oh, you could drink Oh, you’re an alcohol alcoholic. I don’t really identify with that terminology. But we had this perception of somebody who struggle with addiction, right? Drinking in the wake up in the morning, we see it in the movies, right? I never knew any I’ve never really personally known anybody in my life. But we see from the movies that are struggling down call, they wake up, they slam a you know, drink. You know, I think a lot of people to and me included, we struggle that if we don’t fit into that exact mold, nothing’s up. You know, it’s I think it’s so incredible that people are asking questions, and they’re really identifying, you know, what is this stuff? What is it all about? What does it do to my brain body, mind, my spirit, you know, what is it doing to me? And asking that million dollar question to ourselves, would my life be better without it and not the question of, Am I an alcoholic because I can talk? Even today I can talk myself out of you know, anything. No problem me.


Casey McGuire Davidson  54:46

Yeah, I don’t identify with that term label either. But I could debate it to yes, no, maybe does it matter? And I think that we One thing to remember in this is your motivation can be different at different moments. So, one day, it might be, I want to be able to get up in the morning and go for a run another day, it might be, oh my god, I’m on day 30. And I do not want to have another day one, a different day, it could be I’ve made all these awesome connections with people who don’t drink, and I don’t want to lose that. By drinking and feeling like I need to slip away from it. I sometimes think that all the motivation I have is promising myself that I would not drink once I got that sober momentum on a fuckup moment, you know, I would just be like, alright, if I am not going to just say screw it without thinking it through really, really carefully, because I’ve worked too hard for this. And a lot of times, that’s enough. When I was sort of in my first year to get me to the next moment that and accountability, having told people that I wasn’t doing this, that I felt better even my son, I told him, I was taking 100 a break from drinking at eight years old, they can keep you pretty accountable. You know?



That’s the truth. That is so true. Yeah, though, you go to everything. Yeah. Oh, it’s so surprising. I have 366 year old, a three year old and an 18 month old and my God, you are in the thick of it. Yeah. And nothing gets by them. Absolutely nothing gets by the 6 year old. I mean, 18 month old, not much. But the 6 year old influences 3 year old, so nothing. The 3, it’s the 6 year old picks up on something you can rest assured the three-year-old’s will be repeating it shortly. So yeah, so it’s busy. But yeah, that’s it that’s so important is that things will change where you’re at your motivation to keep going, will have to be adjusted to where you’re at. But yeah, a good night’s sleep is, can do miracles. When you hit that tough spot. Nothing’s going right. My goodness, I still have those days. I mean, absolutely. Nothing is going right in life and business and relationship with the kids. I mean, I’ve fallen short, you know, you try to be a father anyway. And then moms too. I’m sure you, you know, you try to do right. And you try to be this. So yeah, boy. And it doesn’t always pan out that way. And then you kind of feel like man, you know, kids got a bad I could have done some different and you try better next time. But yeah, I have those moments too.


And it doesn’t go for me. It doesn’t go to drinking, but it does go to those behaviors. Sometimes those behaviors of wanting to escape and just wanting to get it over with but it’s always just a good night’s sleep sometimes is what I need and wake up the next day process things, talk about it, connect with others, not feel alone on the journey of whether being a father, whether it being sober, or whether it being a business owner, or whether she did list goes on and on. But the thing is, it’s not for my life today. It’s just nonnegotiable. I just don’t drink. I don’t do drugs and everything else in between, I’ll find a way to figure it out. And then when I made that commitment, that was the thing because me personally, I’m not just dabble in here or there, height guy with anything, really everything for me has to be balanced and watch. But I’ll burn this entire thing down in a very short order. No problem. I don’t need any help. And I just keep that I think we talked about it to about just keeping that in mind, of what things were like not to live there and not to feel shame or feel anything else about it other than just to not get tricked.


Casey McGuire Davidson  58:50

Yeah, I mean, just doing this one thing can completely and totally change the trajectory of your life. You talked about the 1% improvement. And then there’s also the 1% decline every single day that you continue drinking, which compounds over time, and it can lead you to a very different place. Like the trajectory of your life gets darker, the longer you go in one direction or another if it’s just in terms of health and relationships and what you’re able to accomplish and your overall happiness, you know, yeah.



Yeah, it’ll steal your joy, alcohol will steal your joy. And sometimes before we even know it, you know, I put up this this meme one time that we did sacrifice a lot, you know, for that thing in. I did a lot of it for years without even realizing it. I had no idea. I mean, if you would have people might have mentioned it. I couldn’t grasp the concept that I was sacrificing. Literally, for me the opportunity to even have a life you know, I didn’t have much. Have I was in existence, of course. But there was the joy was gone a long time ago, the joy was probably gone from the time where I said, before things got too heavy where I said, Well, I’m just going to quit. And then I woke up the next day. And I realized that I couldn’t hit that I couldn’t quit. And I think the joy was gone, because then I was, it was, you know, trying to get back to what the feeling I once had, you know, that I want once I did kind of maybe enjoy things, and I couldn’t find it again. So.


Casey McGuire Davidson  1:00:36

Yeah. Well, so on your sober motivation page, what are your favorite kind of posts? Do you have any that you? Is it the before and after people celebrating their sober bursaries? Quote? I mean, there’s so much good stuff there.



Yeah, I mean, I think that sharing people’s stories, yeah, I love that part. Because the whole thing with what it’s kind of come into is, the part of a joy I guess most about it is because most people don’t have people to hear them, you know, they might be the only sober person in their little, small town, or they might be the only sober person in their circle, maybe they don’t have anybody did celebrate them.


So, we can put it out there. And then we can have all these people, lift them up, let them know that they’re, we’re proud of their journey they’re on and we’re proud of them for sharing their journey. And it’s like a, I guess, it’s like the unsung hero, you know, the anonymous person who gets to share, they can share their story and put it out there and then get people, you know, hyped up. But that’s so mean. It’s sort of three parts and helps me for sure. It helps the person sharing. And it also helps the other person on the other end who might be struggling or just need a little bit a little bit of motivation to get another day.


Casey McGuire Davidson  1:01:50

Yeah, yeah. And I’m looking at one of your posts from not that long ago, a woman saying she’s three years sober over 1000 days, it has like 40,000 likes and 1300 comments. I mean, in terms of getting that kind of celebration that amazing from people who get it?



Yeah, yeah, exactly. Why don’t we have your story on there?


Casey McGuire Davidson  1:02:16

I don’t know. I have pictures of my before and after. I’ll have to look up. I mean, I hit 8 years in February. So maybe I’ll post something then. Do I just send it to you? How does that work?



Yeah, just send it. Yeah. All right. Yeah, I would love to post it up there for you and celebrate your birthday with you.


Casey McGuire Davidson  1:02:37

I totally will. Because you get an extra birthday. Right. Exactly. Yeah. Good. That’s, I’d love to do that. Well, thank you so much for coming on. I’ve loved talking with you.



Yeah, thank you so much for having me keep up the great work, incredible show that you have on here. I mean, it was one of the many shows that inspired me that like maybe I could figure it out, you know, maybe it’s hard to keep up with. Everybody’s doing incredible work. So, I feel like this imposter over here, you know, the right?


Casey McGuire Davidson  1:03:05

Way to every day. So, you know, I don’t know anyone who isn’t like, who am I to do this?



Yeah, but no, you’re definitely in the right place. I mean, I can feel the energy and it just everything from you and what you do so yeah, keep it rockin’. And, you know, so grateful to have an opportunity to, you know, hopefully maybe share something that can help somebody at the end of the day, and then help anybody.


Casey McGuire Davidson  1:03:31

Oh, 100% you’re helping people for sure. And anyone who is listening to this, definitely go check out so we’re motivation? Where’s the best place to find you?



Well, I mean, people can check out on Instagram, or they can listen to the podcasts that they want to hear some stories from kind of start to where people are at now. And yeah, we could start there.


Casey McGuire Davidson  1:03:54

Alright, thank you so much.


Thank you for listening to this episode of The Hello Someday Podcast. If you’re interested in learning more about me or the work I do or accessing free resources and guides to help you build a life you love without alcohol, please visit hellosomedaycoaching.com. And I would be so grateful if you would take a few minutes to rate and review this podcast so that more women can find it and join the conversation about drinking less and living more. 



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