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Aging, Sobriety and Women’s Wellness After 40

Aging, Sobriety And Women’s Wellness After 40

with lori Massicot

Worrying about your drinking is a lonely and dark place to be, especially in midlife when women often feel stressed out, unfulfilled and lonely. 

And that’s where my guest, Lori Massicot, says she lived for too long. 

At 45 Lori says she was an over-drinker, overeater, “sky is falling” type of gal who, after questioning her drinking for two years, finally decided to stop.

And then she discovered all the possibilities available to her now that she no longer spent her evenings on the couch drinking.  

Lori is now a life coach specializing in sobriety, mindset transformation and holistic wellness for women over 40 and hosts the podcast To 50 And Beyond.

Being sober has given Lori a second chance at life and enabled her to become who she genuinely is, without the façade she was trying to keep up with for decades.

In this episode, Lori and I explore:

  • Why to stop drinking at age 40, 50 and 60

  • How “aging sober” empowers women to live healthier, happier and more confident lives. 
  • Why midlife is a good time to reevaluate your relationship with alcohol as you look to the decades ahead
  • The perimenopause journey and how to get beyond it sober
  • The correlation between drinking and weight gain in midlife
  • How women’s wellness after 40 is improved by being alcohol-free

About Lori Massicot

Lori is a Life Coach specializing in sobriety, mindset transformation, and holistic wellness for women over 40. Lori is an advocate for aging happy, healthy and confident, and free. Lori has a certification in Nutrition Coaching, and is the host of the To 50 & Beyond podcast, a podcast that celebrates women in the middle of life.

Links mentioned in the podcast

Casey’s interview on Lori’s To 50 & Beyond podcast – No Rock Bottom Required

Connect with Lori Massicot

To learn more about Lori and to find out more information about her coaching services, head over to www.lorimassicot.com

Follow Lori on Instagram at @lorimassicot

Listen to her podcast To 50 And Beyond

Learn about Lori’s group coaching program for women over 40, Elevate.

Connect with Casey McGuire Davidson

Check out  The Sobriety Starter Kit. The private, on-demand coaching course you need to break out of the drinking cycle – without white-knuckling it or hating the process.

Grab your  Free Sober Girls Guide To Quitting Drinking, 30 Tips For Your First 30 Days

Website: www.hellosomedaycoaching.com

Instagram: Casey @ Hello Someday Coaching (@caseymdavidson)

Connect with Casey

Take a screenshot of your favorite episode, post it on your Instagram and tag me @caseymdavidson and tell me your biggest takeaway!

Want to read the full transcript of this podcast episode? Scroll down on this page.

READ THE TRANSCRIPT OF THIS PODCAST INTERVIEW

Aging, Sobriety and Women’s Wellness After 40 With Lori Massicot

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

drinking, life, women, alcohol, thought, feeling, people, midlife, sobriety, perimenopause, quit, podcast, aging, listening, sober, feel, husband, coaching, wine, friends, Life Coach, Sobriety mindset, transformation, holistic wellness, podcast, To 50 and beyond, world of women who have quit drinking, friends, awesome, women’s wellness, unique period, midlife, drinking, incredible moment, life is short, becoming the best self every single day, learn, love, soak everything up, decision, stop drinking, your story, pink champagne, socialize, relax, panic attacks, quitting drinking, business, fighter, lover, emotional, bottles of Chardonnay, terrified, stopping drinking, labels, stigma, feelings, not that fulfilled, worst-case scenario, recession, empty nest, financial, divorce, marriage, feeling stuck, Hello Someday, emotional triggers, take care of ourselves, important, essential, journey, menopause, journaling, body, changing, writing, practice, self-awareness, calling yourself out, all of your bullshit, overachiever, people pleaser, path, approval, doing a good job, climbing the ladder, verbal approval, rewires your brain, dopamine, willpower, shame, closest inner circle, overwhelming, going to the gym, exercising, fortunate, husband, thankful for my journals, nutrition, foundation, paying attention, what I was eating, I’m curious, build a better self, you want to become who you want to be, different perspective, doing enough eliminating alcohol, mind, nervous system, cravings, holding us back in life, give it up and walk away from alcohol and drinking, I make a lot of better choices, sleep better, Weight Watchers Program, find something that works for you, add to it, all of this stuff takes time, fixed mindset, focus, feeling so much freer, wanting to live your best life, key things, phase, process, season of life, pressures, persona, energy, celebrate women in midlife, wisdom, power, Instagram, fashion blogs, makeup companies, starting their own companies, I want to choose, changing things around, negative thoughts, remove those, start fresh, you owe it to yourself, learn enough, feel enough, enough knowledge, enough memories, AHA moments, you also want more for your life, get past the relationship with alcohol, A Fresh Start, put a light on it, very personal, intimate, back pocket, reach out to me whenever they want, they’re like family, bring them in, support them, building structure in your day, routine, I’m going to write, a beautiful place to be in, membership community, bringing joyful things back into my life, retreats, self-care, brings you joy, empathy, good feelings, quiet, peaceful, purposeful, you deserve that, implementing, simple sobriety, reflection time, meditation music, meditation, journaling, drinking water, boost your energy, do something for yourself, What am I grateful for?, accountable, how can I take care of myself today?, be flexible, self-indulgent, it’s meant for you, don’t tolerate your life, you deserve to be happy, it is up to you to make that happen, draw your own boundaries, set your own priorities, organized, I speak from my heart, Elevate Group Coaching, encourage, free online group, a Coach, online programs, books, yoga classes, resources, they are ready to invest in themselves, part of growth, invest in experiences, connections

SPEAKERS: Casey McGuire Davidson + Lori Massicot

00:02

Welcome to the Hello Someday Podcast, the podcast for busy women who are ready to drink less and live more. I’m Casey McGuire Davidson, ex-red wine girl turned life coach helping women create lives they love without alcohol. But it wasn’t that long ago that I was anxious, overwhelmed, and drinking a bottle of wine and night to unwind. I thought that wine was the glue, holding my life together, helping me cope with my kids, my stressful job and my busy life. I didn’t realize that my love affair with drinking was making me more anxious and less able to manage my responsibilities.

In this podcast, my goal is to teach you the tried and true secrets of creating and living a life you don’t want to escape from.

Each week, I’ll bring you tools, lessons and conversations to help you drink less and live more. I’ll teach you how to navigate our drinking obsessed culture without a bus, how to sit with your emotions, when you’re lonely or angry, frustrated or overwhelmed, how to self soothe without a drink, and how to turn the decision to stop drinking from your worst case scenario to the best decision of your life.

I am so glad you’re here. Now let’s get started.

Hi there. My guest today is Lori Massicot. She’s a Life Coach specializing in Sobriety mindset transformation, and holistic wellness for women over 40. I met Lori through a client, a client of mine listens to Lori’s podcast and To 50 and Beyond and told me that I had to meet her. Her podcast was amazing. And I needed to have her on my podcast, which was great. And the thing I love about this world of women who have quit drinking is I just messaged Lori on Facebook, and now we’re friends. It’s awesome. And what I love about what Laurie does is she really talks about aging, and sobriety and women’s wellness, especially at 40,50,60. And that’s something we don’t hear a lot about, because there’s definitely a unique period in midlife. I know so many women who’ve quit drinking at 40,45,50, where you’re kind of like, I’ve done all the things I did the marriage and the kids and the job and the house. And why am I not happy? And is this what I’m going to do for the next 10 years or 20 years. And so much of that is tied into drinking. But there’s also this incredible moment where you’re like life is short. And I don’t want to go on this way anymore. So Lori, welcome.

 

02:47

Thank you so much. That was so good. I’m so happy and honored to be here. Thank you for having me.

 

Casey McGuire Davidson 02:53

Oh, I’m so thrilled to have you here. And I also wanted to mention that you are an advocate for aging, happy, healthy and confident and free. And you’re a certified nutrition coach, which is amazing. I love bringing on people who have specializations that I don’t have. Yes, thank you. Thank you.

 

03:15

Yeah, I do I you know, I’m just working on becoming my best self every single day. And I love to learn, and I just love to soak everything up. And you know, just that’s what I’m doing right now in my life.

 

Casey McGuire Davidson 03:29

Yeah, that’s wonderful. So, before we start, usually I dive directly into the topic and what people can learn, but I want to hear because it’s your intersection between the decision to stop drinking, the decision to live your best life is so intertwined with aging and midlife. Will you please tell me about your story and what you’re drinking look like, you know, especially approaching the point where you decided to stop drinking and kind of how you made that decision.

 

04:02

Yes, definitely. I started drinking in 1982. So, I was 14. And the biggest reason I started drinking was of course everybody was doing it. And I was out of high school party. And I had all my friends and we got some pink champagne. And I had just one sip of that pink champagne and I thought, oh boy, it’s not only so tasty, but it gave me that liquid courage and I was super shy. And so that is the story I clung on to for 30 years and I quit it 45 years ago. Now in hindsight, I just celebrated 7 years of sobriety in August of this year. And in hindsight, I realized there’s so many more layers to why I was drinking for so long. But that was really the story that you know, I had to have it to socialize, I had to have it to relax. I started having panic attacks later in life. So, when I quit drinking at 45 really leading up to it, it was one of the darkest periods of my life. But then, also, the years leading up to that, I really questioned it for about 2 years. I lost my mom when I was 42 to cancer within 9 months. And after that, you know, I just really went down a deeper, deeper hole, my drinking was kicking up, very rational. And you know, I wasn’t drinking every single night at that time, I could barely function, I was having two-day hangovers. I had my own business at the time, I just started a business when I was goodness, 40. Cleaning houses, and I kicked this business off cleaning and organizing houses. And I had that business for almost 12 years. And it was brutal to go to work and to do the work that I was doing hangover. And so, at 45 I just leading up to that, yeah, there are a lot of fights with my husband, and he’s not a fighter. I’m the fighter. He’s the lover. And you know, he’s just super sweet guy was really mean to him. And I just one night I was home by myself and my husband and son at the time was 12. They were camping. And I decided sitting on the couch watching the Lifetime Movie like I did, that this is not working for me anymore. And I was very emotional. And I always say my somebody was talking to me from above. Now I know it was God. But you know, saying you’ve had enough like, not just for tonight, you’ve had enough for the rest of your life. And I poured my bottles of Chardonnay that I had down the sink. I stood there crying, thinking my life is over. But I really can’t do this anymore. And that is how it began.

 

Casey McGuire Davidson 06:40

Yeah, and I love how you said, I was thinking my life was over. Because we are so terrified of stopping drinking, like we love it. And yet we feel like complete shit. And like you said it was so dark. And yet, you know, I always say quitting drinking was literally my worst-case scenario in my entire life. Like I kept thinking, I need to figure out how to control this so that I never have to actually stop. And it’s amazing how much better Your life is without it.

 

07:19

Yeah, I mean, honestly, we could talk for hours about how much better it is. And I think that you know, just those myths that we hear, you know, the labels and the stigma around it. And especially as we’re aging, we already have all of these feelings of you know, maybe we’re not that fulfilled anymore. Maybe we just feel like, you know, is this it, I’m gonna drink my life away, because it kind of is. It’s dark, it sucks. You know, there was a lot of things, there was financial things going on in my life, I had lost a high paying job. Hence the reason why I started a business. We were in the, you know, the, what is it called? The I can’t even think right now. You know, the economy, what is it called when they say, Oh, it’s the recession, not a recession. But you know, 2004 I was in the real estate industry for years. So, when I lost that job is when I started my cleaning business. And, you know, there was a lot of things. There’s a lot of reasons why women either have been drinking like me, since they were 14 or they pick it up in midlife. It’s empty nest, it’s financial, it’s divorce, it’s being in a marriage, they feel stuck in and they’re not happy and fulfilled in work. It’s been in work that you go to for, you know, eight hours plus a day and you don’t have that fulfilled feeling and you’re thinking, you know, is this it and I talked about, you know, sitting on the couch and drinking my wine, it was my wine fantasy time, you know, I would just go into this. Tomorrow, I’m gonna do this, you know, tomorrow, this is what I’m gonna start kind of, you know where your whole premise of Hello Someday it’s, you know, tomorrow is always gonna be my someday and then it wasn’t.

 

Casey McGuire Davidson 08:55

If you’re listening to this episode and have been trying to take a break from drinking, but keep starting and stopping and starting again, I want to invite you to take a look at my on demand coaching course, The Sobriety Starter Kit. The Sobriety Starter Kit is an online self study, sober coaching course that will help you quit drinking and build a life you love without alcohol without white knuckling it or hating the process. The course includes the exact step-by-step coaching framework I work through with my private coaching clients, but at a much more affordable price than one-on-one coaching. And The Sobriety Starter Kit is ready, waiting and available to support you anytime you need it, when it fits into your schedule.  You don’t need to work your life around group meetings or classes at a specific day or time. This course is not a 30 day challenge, or a one day at a time approach. Instead, it’s a step-by-step formula for changing your relationship with alcohol. The course will help you turn the decision to stop drinking from your worst case scenario to the best decision of your life. You will sleep better and have more energy, you’ll look better and feel better, you’ll have more patience and less anxiety. And with my approach you won’t feel deprived or isolated in the process. So if you’re interested in learning more about all the details, please go to www.sobrietystarterkit.com. You can start at any time and I would love to see you in the course.

 

And I think so many of the reasons that we drink are really emotional triggers, right? You’re angry, sad, frustrated, bored. Unfulfilled is a huge one. And you’re like, at least I have my wine. That’s my one thing. For me. I had little kids and I’d lost all of my things that I was doing for myself. I was working a corporate job that was really tough. And I had a baby and I had an eight-year-old and I was like, I don’t have anything for myself. But guess what I could drink while playing Candyland. And when my daughter was in the bath, not totally safe. I would sit right next to her on the floor of the bathroom drinking. So, it was very sophisticated and safe. But you’re like, this is all I have. You don’t realize that with the addictive tendencies. This sucks. And if you actually stopped drinking, you would have a whole lot more.

 

11:58

Yeah, but you know, I was there to my son, every single birthday party we had, I was drinking. I was drinking it everything. The only time I wasn’t drinking is when I found out I was pregnant. And that was about 7 months of sobriety for me. And I thought that day when I had him, I can’t drink anymore. There’s no way I’m going to be able to have this little baby and be responsible. And I brought him home on Mother’s Day of 2001. And the champagne was popped. And I was right back to it.

 

12:28

Yeah. So, you know, I think like different decades of my life has just been like a different kind of drinking. But you know, you get to those feelings of that myth like, Oh, well, she must have not allowed to drink anymore. That’s why she quit. That’s what I always thought like, your doctor probably told you, right? Somebody told you, right? No, it’s, you love it so much. You can’t. You can’t keep going because it’s ruining your life. It’s just, it was destroying me. I mean, I was miserable. I was, you know, I was a miserable version of myself. And so, you don’t have to. You don’t have to go to the deep, dark places. If you’re feeling that tug, especially in the middle of life because we were going through perimenopause. You know, I’m beyond. I’m post menopause now. I mean, I can’t imagine drinking. There are days where I just feel, you know, wiped out. I can’t imagine being hungover. And we have to take care of ourselves even more now. More.

 

Casey McGuire Davidson  13:21

I’m so glad that you mentioned perimenopause, because it is something I’ve actually never talked about in my podcast. I have to admit it’s because I haven’t gone through it. But I think it’s so important. I work with my clients and it comes up a lot so many women are going through it. So, tell me about sort of aging in sobriety and how essential it is with the perimenopause journey and how to get beyond it sober.

 

13:50

Well, this is what I want to say. I started going through perimenopause, probably in hindsight, the end my 30s, but I wasn’t really aware of it, right. Because you know, we’re not taught this, and my mom passed away when I was 42. And I just remember her always saying because this is how she was. Menopause was no big deal. No big deal to me. Like she wouldn’t tell me. Probably my sister. The same thing. She had gone through it before me like, I really remember it. No, I remember every detail. So, I started journaling around 40.

 

Well, 45 was when I started my journal in May of 2013, to track by the amount of pause and so if you don’t know what perimenopause is, it could be one to 10 years leading up to menopause, which menopause is one day. So, menopause is the one-year anniversary of your last cycle, your last period. So, when you hit that one year with no period, that’s your day of menopause. And then the next day, your post menopause. So, when people talk about, you know, menopause, I feel horrible. You know, I’m just like, I don’t know what’s going on. My body. It’s changing. I went through that for a very long time and everybody experiences this differently. I have friends who just are no period for a year. Boom, they’re out of it. They didn’t even have any kind of experience. Like, I like to call it.

 

So, I started writing in this journal. Okay, I have a headache. I have a lot of boo pain, you know, kind of reminiscent to back when you had kids, you know, you are kind of feeling that and it’s a lot of fogginess. There was a ton of fatigue. For me, I had heart palpitations, I had to go to a cardiologist for a month to get all of the tests done. You know, I could go on and on, and I just started tracking it, like, when is my cycle, so I was starting to lose track, like, you know, I would go 60 days, and then start again, you know, and I was always 28 days. So, in this journal, I started writing about my drinking. And it was the first time that I had written about it, you know, and I looked at it on these pages, and it was starting to come to life, right? You know, when you practice that self-awareness, and you start calling yourself out on all of your bullshit, it’s, it’s hard. It’s really hard. And I know that, that journal, I talk about it all the time, that journal completely changed my life. And that was me. When I started it, I quit August 11 of that same year, because I knew that whatever was happening with me is natural, everybody’s going to go through it. You know, a lot of people go through it a lot earlier, it could be surgically induced menopause, you know, whatever it is, but when you’re going through it, there was a piece of me that I just felt like, I was so unattached from everything, like I was just so unattached all of the time. And I just didn’t feel connected to myself, I didn’t feel like I was connected to the words that were coming out of my mouth. I thought, you know, why am I being like this. And it was because of alcohol. It was bringing out the very worst version of me. And you know, in my 20s, I love to drink. I was fun party girl, Lori in my teens, Oh, my gosh, loved it, I have great memories. In my 30s, I got married at 31, I had my son at 33. And then I put on about 70 pounds. And I didn’t take it off, it was a lot of mental, a lot of mental weight. And I just got darker and darker and darker. And so, when I got into my 40s, that darkness was taking away everything it was taking, I didn’t even know who I was anymore. And so, I just felt really unattached. And I thought I have to, there’s got to be something better for me to do. I don’t know what it is, but I think it’s alcohol.

 

Casey McGuire Davidson 17:25

Might be? Well, I love that you said there’s something better because I feel like that’s what happens when you drink for a long time. And honestly, when you age, right? You start out with all this stuff. And if you’re a good girl, or an overachiever, or people pleaser, a lot of times you set out on a path and then you get a lot of approval from like doing a good job and climbing the ladder and you earn more money. It’s not even verbal approval, it’s just financial. And suddenly, you get to a point where you’re like, I’m not happy anymore. And this is not what I wanted for my life. And everything is fine. And yet, you’re in a really dark place, especially if you’re drinking and you just sit there and you’re like, but wine is the only thing I have that makes me happy and you don’t realize that that’s what it’s designed to you to do. It’s designed to make you dependent on it, it rewires your brain and your dopamine levels and so that the only thing that makes you happy is alcohol. And you think the only thing that makes me happy is alcohol. I mean it’s such a slippery slope and a circular process that is slow and insidious. And the only way to get out is to stop drinking. But how did you do it? Because you mentioned to me that you didn’t have a Coach which I was I quit drinking with the coach and I had tried all the willpower and all the rules and all the self-hatred and talking shit to myself and shame and I tried A.A. like, and it was Coaching. That is why I became a Coach. It’s what helped me.

 

But how did you do it?

 

19:10

Well this is how I feel I feel like there’s so many different options out there for everybody I have never tried a and I probably looking back now it would have been the one thing that I would have done because I thought that was the only thing that what there was and really and back in 2013 that’s all I really knew about it. But the shame was so heavy and so deep. I thought I’m never going to speak of this. It was hard for me just to tell a handful of my closest inner circle. I’m never going to speak of this. This is something I won’t ever talk about it.

 

Casey McGuire Davidson  19:42

Oh my god. Look at you now. You have a funny, everyone.

 

19:48

Oh yeah. We talked about perimenopause; you don’t talk about addiction. You’re talking about sobriety. I’m your gal. I could talk about it to anybody all day long. Because you know, when you go through something so dark like that you come out to the other side, I just felt like it’s going to the grave with me. And you know what I did in the beginning was very simple. And that’s why I talk about simple sobriety. And, you know, what we chatted about earlier about not overwhelming yourself. And I am, I’m very grateful. The fact that I didn’t have all of the things like we do today. And at the same point, I’m very grateful that we do have all of the things that we do today, because it’s so helpful for so many people.

 

For me, I went to the gym, I started using YouTube to watch exercise videos, like I was going to be a personal trainer. And I actually wanted to be a personal trainer for a bit. And I changed my body composition through going to the gym, exercising, of course, keeping up with my journal. And every single day, I had created a mantra, but I didn’t even know what mantras were back then whatever it takes. And so, whatever it takes today, I was very fortunate that my husband, you know, at that time, you guys were gonna be celebrating 21 years together next year, we were together, I can’t think of how many years we were back then. But we drank a lot together. And I’ve talked about it on my podcast, he said, I don’t have to drink either. So, he was my number one support. And, you know, God bless us that we made it through that because we met in a bar, we drank together every single situation, experience vacation, all of it, you know, he just really was my biggest support. And then of course, my son, but I just tried to head I was very fearful that if I didn’t quit at that time, even getting 7 days in, I thought this a long time. I can’t go back. This is a long time. Yeah, even though I had done like 30 days since I knew it 7 days, like this is just gonna keep getting harder and harder and harder. And so, I just stuck with it. So, I did not envision myself being 75 years old and still drinking like I was now. If you’re a moderate drinker, if you’re somebody who can drink normally, that’s not what I’m talking about. I was two plus bottles in. I wasn’t drinking every night; I was drinking three or four nights a week. And that’s a lot and on an aging body. You know, it’s not good. It there’s so many different reasons why but you know, mentally I was, like I said, I didn’t know who I was. I was so unattached from myself, like,

 

22:17

Who are you? Yeah. And so when I quit drinking everything every single day was whatever it takes in there. I’m so thankful for my journals, and everything that I can do to look back and read those now. was very simple stuff.

 

Casey McGuire Davidson 22:32

And question for you. I know that you did exercise and nutrition and all that stuff. At the same time becoming a personal trainer was not drinking the foundation, like, did you believe it was the foundation that made everything else possible?

 

22:50

Oh, absolutely. I didn’t become a personal trainer. I actually signed up for the course. But I never finished it because it was like, I didn’t want to be a doctor. I wanted to be a personal trainer. So, it was a lot but no, I absolutely, absolutely. Because I was very sedentary. And so, I knew that for me at that time, I thought, well, I’ll start going to the gym and I was going, and I was getting on the treadmill. And I was making sure that nobody who was at the front when I walked in was still there when I left because I was gonna make my French exit. Like, I’m leaving. I wasn’t here for very long, don’t judge me.

 

Yeah. Then I started thinking, you know, I’ve got this membership. I got a lot of time on my hands. And I just started researching. That’s what I do. I mean, that’s just how I learned things. I read I research, I watch, I listened. And I thought, Okay, you go back to some old school bodyweight exercises, you start doing some squats, and some jumping jacks, and I brought my son with me and we would work out together. And you know, the nutrition part came in later. And at that time, I was starting to lose a little bit of weight. So, I was paying attention to what I was eating. But the nutrition part came in later. And then in 2015, I got on Instagram under an anonymous name 250 and beyond. And I thought I’m going to talk about starting a whole 30 which is an elimination type of diet for a month, and I’m going to start talking about it. Nobody’s gonna know I’m on there, none of my friends not using my name 250 and beyond. And that’s how everything really started. I started to realize people are talking about sobriety. Are you kidding me? Really. And man, it was on I just thought at that time I was two years sober at that time, I was stronger mentally, to say it’s okay to release this. And I think it was just a calling. It’s something that I have to do. It’s something that I have to talk about.

 

Casey McGuire Davidson 24:37

Yeah. And so, I have a question for you. And it’s because I’m curious. And I often tell clients, like, you want to build a better self and you want to become who you want to be. But I say don’t start a huge diet when you’re trying to quit drinking and I want to ask you about that for different perspective. And the reason I say that is you are doing enough eliminating alcohol, you’re doing enough to your body and your mind and your nervous system and cravings. And so, what I see a lot of women do is they say, you know, it’s like pulling a geographic, like, I’m going to do a diet where I can’t drink, and therefore I’ll stop drinking. And they get to three weeks, and they’re just like, screw it. This sucks. This is awful. I’m going to drink. And they don’t know whether they’re so grumpy and irritated and annoyed because they’re not drinking or because they’re on this elimination diet. So, I actually lost a ton of weight. When I quit drinking, I lost Jesus like 40 pounds in eight months, I was working out every day at 5:30 is part of my like, I’m gonna go to bed early and work out and get my anxious up and you know, my anxiety out and be around people who don’t drink, but I always was like, I need my milkshakes. I need my something to eat at night after dinner to keep my mouth busy. I was so used to it. So, I’m curious about your perspective on that.

 

26:05

Oh, yeah, whatever it takes for me included box cakes. I was never a sweet eater. So no, I don’t recommend anybody start anything like that, you know, what I recommend for my clients and and really, when I went through my nutrition certification, it’s all intuitive. You know, it’s like listening to your body for the first time. And when you’re getting sober in the middle of life, and you’ve spent decades and I’m talking about myself, spent decades avoiding yourself and feeling that unattached feeling. You start asking yourself, why am I eating hot dogs? I would eat hot dogs. Like That was my hangover food. Oh, God.

 

Casey McGuire Davidson 26:41

Oh, God. I know just talking about was his office sandwiches like I would watch your work and just be like, I need a giant coffee like the biggest one they have. And this huge croissant breakfast sandwich just to get through the morning.

 

27:00

Well, yeah, cause you’re so dehydrated. The next day, I could eat anything when I was hungover. So, you go from that stage of living like hotdogs fast food, I ate it all. And I had no filter there either. So, you know, food. Second, no food was my number one addiction. Okay, so but you know, after that, I just decided, Okay, well, whatever it takes, but what happens? Sweet friends, right? When we give up something that is holding us back in life, like alcohol and drinking. And you may say right now No, I’m okay. I’m okay. I’m just like, kind of not feeling that great. When you give it up and you walk away from it, you realize I make a lot of better choices with my food with my exercise.

 

So, God, sleep is number one. So, I was starting to sleep better. And I’m just, you know, I carried that old story around. I’m not a good sleeper. I’m just not a good sleeper. I was waking up at 1:00a.m. sweating in a panic all the time. And so, once I started making better food choices, I realized I don’t want all the junk. But I’ve never been somebody who has had success sticking with a diet for long term. Except like, you know, Weight Watchers back when I was younger. You know, I think Weight Watchers is a great program. You know, I feel like it’s just you have to find something that works for you. And you have to add to it. So, adding veggies add in, you know, I started doing protein shakes in 2015. That was like, oh, wow, this really helps my, so I do one every single morning. Like I made the advanced like part of them. And yeah, yeah, you just start swapping things because you just think but no, you don’t need that pressure. You don’t.

 

Casey McGuire Davidson 28:37

Yeah, like my Starbucks breakfast sandwiches are now protein shakes, and they taste just as good. So okay, I just wanted to think that because I have a lot of women being like, I want to keep drinking, because I feel like absolute shit and I gained all this weight and all this stuff. But then they’re like, you know, we are multitaskers we are driven women with successful busy overachievers. And so like, women come to me and they’re like, I am going to quit drinking. I’m gonna lose 40 pounds. I’m going to clean up my attic. I’m going to organize my office. And I’m just like, Okay, how about you know, not drinking is the foundation. It’s the foundation of not feeling like shit. Like I used to tell my kids on Saturday morning. Like, please don’t jump. Mommy doesn’t feel good. I always meant to go to yoga at 10:00a.m. I never did quit drinking. I’m it. My morning workouts at 5:30 doing burpees. Like, it’s the foundation of everything you want in life, but also, you’re exhausted in your first couple of weeks. You’re irritated. You feel like you’re walking around without your outer layer skin. So, for God’s sakes, don’t starve yourself to you know, or whatever it is like.

 

29:47

Yeah, all of this stuff takes time. I mean, if I were to go back and tell myself, you know, what is it going to take for me to not think about drinking and to not feel like all of these feelings. When I first got sober, if I were to say, you know, it’s gonna take you time back then it would have been well, I want it right now because that’s what we want. We want that quick fix, we want everything quick now. I mean, look at the little short videos on Instagram, everything has to be fast, like, give me all the information and give it to me fast. And let me get really quick results. So when you have that mindset was a very fixed mindset for most of my life, all of my life up until I quit drinking, where I was thinking that, you know, these expectations that I was building for myself, and then I wrote in my journal at 18 months, why do I why, as is, you know, not getting that much better for me. You know, I wanted to focus on that. But in the meantime, I’m living my life feeling so much freer. I was resisting feeling that good because I had never felt it before. So, you have to keep going. And you have to know that it’s time. It’s taking care of yourself, and less is more. And so, if you want to eat a cake out of a box, you eat the frickin cake.

 

Casey McGuire Davidson 31:02

Yeah. is better than drinking a bottle of wine?

 

31:07

Yeah. And listen, I’ve worked with women for the past almost three years where you know, I go through this, too. It’s the same thing, like, Well, I know. But if I’m gonna gain weight, and I was losing weight, because there is a thing, you know, and I used to do it, too. When I was younger, especially, you drink and then you don’t eat right. And so, you have this pattern.

 

Casey McGuire Davidson 31:25

Oh, yeah. You save your calories for alcohol consciously. Yeah.

 

31:29

Yeah. And so, you want to go back to talk to yourself into. Okay, well, now I’m eating sweets. I quit drinking. I might as well go back to drinking. Please, please. Yeah, sugar is not that great for you. It’s a phase. Yeah,

 

31:42

yeah. It’s a means to an end. And it’s going to get so much better. I remember. So, I also did Weight Watchers and trainers. And you know, I mean, modern life, right. So many women try so hard to do that. And I used to log my food. And my food log would be like, egg white omelet, salad for lunch, apple, salmon and asparagus. Six glasses wine. Like That was my food log. And I’m like, still in my points. Me. And like, by the way, I can’t wait.

 

32:20

Yeah, that’s so good. You log those six glasses of wine. I would be like I had one.

 

32:25

Oh, my God, just like, yeah, just total denial and lying to myself for so long. Oh, my God.

 

Casey McGuire Davidson 32:31

So, tell me you work with women, particularly 40,50,60. About sobriety in that midlife point? In that point where you’re approaching or just past 50? and wanting to live your best life? What are the key things that you see in women stopping drinking at that phase? What is bringing them to stop? Yeah, and what’s the process like? What are the different pressures on women? it’s sort of that season of life.

 

33:01

There are so many different pressures. And that’s the whole reason why we need to be sober. We need to age sober. I’m going to be singing this till my last breath. Because there are so many pressures that you say somebody comes to me and says, this is why I drink my kids. Like I said earlier, my money, my husband’s, the relationships, my job, I’m not happy, I’m not fulfilled. I’m lonely. I feel like you know, is this it? I’m feeling very isolated.

 

Can we just say 2020? All of the things, right? And this is the reason why women are drinking, but it is the number one reasons all of those things I just listed why you shouldn’t be because, you know, if you don’t have your wits about you, right now, at this stage of life, you know, you’re going to lose out on a lot of living. And there’s also different things that can happen. I mean, you know, women of a certain age, we don’t tolerate alcohol like we used to. So, we’re still carrying around the 20s, the 80s persona party girl. And so, when they come to me, it’s just it’s a lot of I hear this all the time. It’s one of the best compliments I get for the podcast, it sounds like you’re talking directly to me, because I know. I know how it is. I have all of the BS, all of the excuses, all of the feelings that I was justifying my drinking for so long. And women come to me and say, you know, I’ve been doing this for so long. And most of the women who come to me just say I’m so tired of it. I am so tired of it, but I don’t know how else to live.

 

Casey McGuire Davidson  34:30

Yeah. Yeah. And one of my favorite things about your podcast and your work and your just persona and energy and who you are is you really celebrate women in midlife, like it is not a negative thing, either to get sober or to be 45 or 50 or 55. I mean, I remember. So my mother in law, who is amazing to me, is a widow and awesome and she lives in Florida and she went hiking At age 65, one of the things I most love about your work and your podcast and your energy and who you are, is that you do really celebrate women in midlife, it’s about more than just not drinking. It’s about more than I’m sick and tired. And I want to feel better at my job and my husband and my finances and my kids. So, what do you absolutely love about women in midlife?

 

35:28

Oh, my gosh, we have so much wisdom and power. And I mean, honestly, I feel like you know, since I’ve gotten on Instagram, the past five years, it’s grown so much, and I absolutely get so fired up seeing women in the middle of life, you know, out there, starting fashion blogs and, you know, makeup companies and starting their own company and talking about sobriety and aging without alcohol and all of it. And menopause. I mean, honestly, there’s so much that we have. And also, we get to this stage of life where it’s kind of like my I’m gonna give zero fucks about things. And you know, I think a lot of women are still in that people pleasing, because that’s huge with people who women who come to me and say, you know, but my husband drinks are a you know, Aunt Sally drinks are my best friend’s drink. It’s that people pleasing cycle. Now it’s time to please yourself. And that’s where you step back and go, Wait a minute, wait a minute, what am I going to do for the next 30 years? I want to choose. I want to live my life. I don’t care what other people think anymore. So that’s why I celebrate midlife. I think that it is a wonderful time. And I know that I wouldn’t be here talking to you, if I hadn’t quit drinking. I know that I wouldn’t be here at all, if I hadn’t really worked on my mindset and changing things around because you go to those negative thoughts. Well, it’s time to remove those slots and start fresh, just start fresh, because you owe it to yourself. It’s not, it’s not cool anymore to party and pass out and drink and blackout and throw up. That’s what I was doing. And I just had to get out of it.

 

Casey McGuire Davidson 37:04

I didn’t see it till probably about 90 days in how bad it had gotten. It takes a while to get that clarity. That’s one of the things I’m always talking to women about, and we talked about it on your podcast is that one of the things I see the most is women saying I want to want to stop drinking, right? I want to learn enough and shamed myself enough and feel enough, have enough knowledge about alcohol and what it does. And enough memories. Like maybe, I haven’t hit a bottom, or I haven’t hit a bottom. And the truth is you’re not going to want to start drinking until you get away from the drinking cycle until like you said 90 days. I mean, it can happen sooner. And it happens in pieces like you have these AHA moments. But you need to get that distance. So, the key is, yes, you want to drink? Of course, you do. But you also want more for your life and not drinking is the foundation of everything else you want in life.

 

38:05

Yeah. And that’s all you need. It wasn’t I wanted to quit drinking. I went into it, resisting it. I was pissed. I was pissed. I was sad. Oh, God, me too. Yeah, I was poor me. I’m a loser. Nobody else has to do this, my friends, they can all drink normally. And you know, my life is over. My life is over. I’ll never dance again. I’ll never go to a concert. I’ll never go on vacation. All of it because I revolved my life around this circle, which in the middle of it was wine and champagne and all the stacks of all of the bullshit. And I danced around that circle for so long, that I finally said, I’m tapping out. I’m moving on. I don’t know what it’s gonna look like. But I that was it. I just know that there has to be something more for me. There has to be because I can’t keep doing this. And so if you are in perimenopause, and you are feeling the fogginess and the weight of you know, both mentally and physically and you’re feeling like you’re barely existing in your life and you’re drinking, even if it’s a small amount, this is the time to really reevaluate that relationship with alcohol because that’s why I say when I say unattached It was a relationship with alcohol I was working on for a really long time, never the one with myself. And so that really is the catalyst to everything.

 

39:19

So how do you work with women to get past the relationship with alcohol? I know you work with women 1-on-1, I know you have a membership. Tell me about the work you do. Because I assume it’s of course not drinking is the foundation that’s hard to do. How do you do it? But then what’s underneath that?

 

39:37

Gosh, you know, right now I’m doing what I call A Fresh Start. It’s a 6-week, 1-on-1 Coaching. So it’s the beginning, but this is what I always tell the women that I work with, and I’ve changed this up over the past 2 years, we ease into it, because you know, there is that time, where you know, normally it’s the first week it’s kind of like I’d say absorb your drinking. What is it doing for you? Asking yourself these questions is, these are the questions that we don’t want to ask, you know, because we don’t want to put a light on it. Like, what is it doing for you? You observe your drinking and then next week, we’re going to talk about, are you ready to go all in? Are you ready to commit to this? And, you know, what I do is very, very personal. It’s very intimate. I’m in their back pocket all day long. So, they have to, you know, they reach out to me whenever they want. It’s just something that I feel like they’re my family. And I bring them in, and I love on them and support them. And we go through mindset we go through, I’m huge on building structure in your day, because I’m, I’m really, I’m not surprised. But I kind of am surprised nowadays that women don’t have any kind of routine in their day, other than getting up rushing out the door, not thinking about themselves, getting to a stressful job they hate and then getting to the end of the day and thinking well, I said I wasn’t going to drink this morning, but fuck it. I’m going to write.

 

Casey McGuire Davidson 40:57

Oh, my God, you just described my life. I know. That’s literally, that literally was my life.

 

41:04

Yeah. So, structures huge for me. So, it’s just like that. And you know, it’s a it is amazing. It’s it lights me up when women who are in their 60s say, I cannot believe this stuff. You were telling me in the beginning, because I get this a lot. I thought it was crazy. But I thought this is too simple. I need all the things and now they’re doing it and they’re just they’re blowing themselves away. And so, it’s, it’s just a beautiful place to be in. And then after the 6 weeks, they have 30 days into elevate which is my membership community, which is a wonderful community of amazing women. And we come together every week and talk about the midlife experience. Or they go on to another private coaching package I sectioned it out because that first 6 weeks, it’s the start of building that foundation. And then you start to decide, okay, what is next? What do I want to work on next? And that’s the beauty of getting sober. Because you get to that 6-week point and you think, okay, yeah, what is next for me, I’m ready to do something else.

 

Casey McGuire Davidson 42:02

I remember I ran a 10K, I started looking more clearly at bringing joyful things back into my life starting playing guitar, again, starting with just spending time outside with friends and I met, my god like, you go on a couple years, my best friend still worked in corporate my best sober friend and opened a bookstore that had been her dream since childhood. And I went back to Coaching school while working a corporate job and went on all these retreats and learn so much about self-care and what else is out there and made so many new friends and you don’t realize how small your life gets and how kind of crappy when you’re just on your couch with your bottle of wine as your one thing that you have to hold on to in life that brings you joy. And it doesn’t really bring you joy.

 

42:56

It’s super sad to me, I you know, both of us have so much empathy because we know how it feels. And it doesn’t have to be like that. And this is what I want to say too is when you get those good feelings, you start feeling better, and you start doing all of the things that make you just feel so joyful. Please don’t talk yourself into the fact that, oh, now I’m good. I’m going to go back to drinking. Or don’t resist those good feelings for yourself. You deserve it. That’s it’s there for you. I used to always think that, well, this can’t be my life. Literally, when I was sitting on my couch, drinking myself into blackout. This is the life I was dreaming up. Being myself. Yeah, coming on at night coming on a podcast, but being myself and being able to speak up and do the things that I want to do. Because I always felt like I had to fit in. And I had to follow and I’m not a follower. That’s not my personality. It’s not at all. And so now I’m living this life. But I used to say my wild fantasies like this is super cool. And it’s not like I’m off. You know, living this huge, extravagant life. It’s very simple. And it’s very joyful. It’s very quiet and peaceful and purposeful. And so just know that you deserve that. You deserve all of that, like your biggest dreams. Go bigger, and you deserve that. You can have it and when you start getting it, don’t resist it and say this is getting too good. I got it. I got to sabotage myself.

 

44:20

It’s like just go that’s what drinking is just self-sabotaging. It is you know you have a headache and to get rid of the headache, you’re gonna slam your hand in a car door, you’re pissed off at your husband. So, you’re gonna shoot yourself in the foot. Like it is just self-sabotage. And you deserve better. Yeah, total weight always want to leave people on my podcast, the women with some concrete things that they can take away just from this episode and start implementing one of the things I’m sure you’ve got so many but you mentioned structure and that women in their 60s are like, Oh my god, it sounded so simple, and I can’t believe that The difference and make so what are those simple things?

 

45:03

Simple sobriety is what I call it. It’s honestly number one is your sleep. So, you want to make sure that you are not on your phone or on your devices late at night. It is something that has really picked up I think this year, especially because women a lot of women that I work with are on their phone watching the news. That is something you do not want to go to sleep with, you do not want to wake up with. So, I always suggest, and this is what I do. I put my phone away by 7 o’clock. I’m already checked in with everybody. So put my phone away. It’s in the bathroom. It’s still on because I have a son away at college. I step away from it. And either, you know, maybe I’m finishing up work or I’m doing and then I get in bed and read. So that’s you know, it’s your nighttime routine will kick off. How would you? Like I read a thing, fiction, mystery thrillers.

 

Casey McGuire Davidson 45:52

Yeah, I love novels. I love novels with really interesting female characters.

 

45:56

Yeah, just anything like that. I’ve been reading so much this year, I got back into really reading the fiction. And then in the morning, I do a personal development. But creating that structure. So, you go to bed at the same time, you wake up at the same time every single day. And you make sure that you have at least 30 minutes for yourself, you either have reflection time, or you write in your journal with just quiet and this is what I do when I start meditation music once the house is cleaned out, my husband leaves really early. And so, I just get into this reflection mode. I could do meditation, journaling, make sure you are drinking at least 20 ounces of water when you wake up in the morning, because that’s just going to boost your energy, it’s going to make you feel so much better. I do a little cold shower in the morning.

 

So, this oh my god, I can’t imagine that. I’m like coffee, warm shower. And you know, you know what, it is something that I started doing a couple of years ago. But I feel like for this is what I’ll say for the midlife gal because we know if you’re in this this age, and I am postmenopausal I still wake up with the morning doldrums some days. And it’s kind of like this feeling of there’s a lot of dread for the rest of the day because you haven’t slept well. Maybe you didn’t eat something that agreed with you the night before. So, you’re just feeling that you know, a little bit adult and you look in the mirror and go,

 

47:17

Oh boy, oh boy, here we go. So cold shower, I do face rolling in the morning with some oil on my face. You know, I have a structured plan that makes me feel like I’m not rushing. So, whatever you do in the morning, make sure you are not rushing through it. And you’re doing something for yourself. And you’re asking yourself, how do I want to feel today? How do I want to show up today? And what am I grateful for? And what is that? you know, present tense, I am like, I am doing this today, this is what I want to be doing. So, I am doing it today. I want to be happy. I want to be free. And you stepped into that woman now you don’t have to wait like just align yourself to her and become her by saying nice things to yourself. And then I’m number one exercise if you can get your exercise in in the morning, great. If not, make sure you schedule at least 30 minutes throughout. I mean, you know later in the day, or you could do short bursts throughout the day. But it’s very simple. It’s very simple stuff.

 

Casey McGuire Davidson 48:18

So, when you work with women, one on one, you’re like, Okay, let’s set this up. And I’m going to hold you accountable to do this stuff. Is that right? I love how you said that. You’re like how do I want to feel today? How do I want to show up today I remember that one of the most important things I did when I was still working at L’Oréal feeling super stressed but wasn’t drinking was I would always wake up and be like, Oh my god, I gotta take my daughter to daycare. I’ve got this early meeting. I’m checking my emails. I knew my schedule was stacked back to back. And I would wake up and just ask myself one question, and it was how can I take care of myself today? And what that made me do was do a really quick mind body scan, like touching? What do I need today? Am I anxious? Am I lonely? Am I overwhelmed? Am I bored? Have I not done anything for myself in a while? And you know, how can I take care of myself today that can be just cream, a friend on my drive into work. That can be just taking a walk at lunch and listening to a podcast and getting a lot of hate that can be anything at all getting a workout in because I my body felt stiff or going back to bed because I was fucking tired or asking my husband to take care of dinner because I was overwhelmed but you know it’s not a big thing. But when you think how can I take care of myself today? That is one thing that you are doing for you.

 

49:52

Absolutely, and you have to be flexible with it. So, if that sounds like what I just listed, it sounds very overwhelming. Really when I get up, I stepped right into my shower, my brushing my teeth. I do, you know, my personal business, I drink my water because it’s always there in the bathroom waiting for me. I walk out, I get my coffee, I sit down with my journal, I write for about 10 minutes while listening to music and reflecting. And then I move on with my day and it’s normally going into exercise and you know, maybe if I have some work stuff, so you start thinking of it like that, envision yourself with this flow in the morning instead of Oh my God, I got to do all of these things. No, take the pressure off of yourself. Just do those things like one compare it you’re not it doesn’t. It doesn’t take more time than waking up feeling like shit having a headache thinking how am I going to get through today hating yourself looking in the mirror and seeing your eyes all watery? Like, you know, you can carve out the time for what you just described. Trust me it you took that? Yeah, thank you for saying that. Because it’s like shining a light on oh my gosh, that sounds so hard. That sounds so hard. I can’t get up. It’s self-indulgent.

 

Casey McGuire Davidson 50:59

That sounds so self-indulgent. Yes. Midlife women are really good at saying, Oh, you know, I got to please everybody else. I don’t have time for myself. BS. You have time for yourself. You don’t you have to make the time. But everybody has the time. But yeah, just that how much harder is it to get up and get in the shower in the morning and brush your teeth when you’re hungover and look in the mirror? What Listen, I want to be 53 in a couple weeks. Like it’s hard when you’re 53 to look in the mirror and you’re not even feeling like I just didn’t sleep last night. I can’t imagine looking and seeing my face hangover. You know,

 

51:31

I mean, it’s all right. And just I used to stand at the bus stop feeling like complete garbage. And you know, even the time you take to go to Starbucks to stand in that line to get the breakfast sandwich because you feel like shit, a lot of your life. That sucks that makes you feel like you can’t take care of yourself is connected to your bottle of wine, like it just is and take it out and see what your life is like. Because that’s amazing. And perfect. And don’t resist it. Don’t resist that stuff. Because it’s meant for you. It’s not meant for other people. It’s not meant for kcna. It’s meant for everybody to enjoy their life and not just feel like they are barely getting through the day.

 

52:14

Yeah, don’t tolerate your life, you deserve to be happy. And it is up to you to make that happen. It is not up to your husband or your boss or your kids to make you happy. They don’t know what you need, they will never be able to do it for you. You have to draw your own boundaries and set your own priorities because it’s no way to live, feeling like crap and resentful and like a martyr and self-pity and pissed off. Like that’s all in your control. Even if you don’t think it is.

 

It is. You just described to me when I quit drinking. That’s exactly how I was.

 

Casey McGuire Davidson 52:50

Yeah, yeah, well, so I know that I’m going to recommend that everybody listened to your podcast, because it is amazing. It’s lovely. I will be on there. So if anyone wants to hear my story, including the first time I ever got drunk and throwing up on the on the side of the highway and on my sister’s graduation, running down the aisle before the graduates and puking on the side of the building with my parents there. You can hear that on Lori’s podcast. God bless. But I want to talk about your free trainings, your free audio trainings on your website.

 

53:27

Oh, yes. So maybe, when this airs, I’m going to have another one that I’m working on. But right now, I have one to drink or not to drink. So, it’s gonna walk you through just a short audio with me. I, you know, everything I do is very organic. So, I just speak from my heart. But it’s a lot of the questions that came up for me, you know, should I quit drinking, can I moderate. If you’re somebody like me, who has no desire to moderate, you know, it’s going to help you and it’s also going to help you realize, you know, I don’t feel like everybody has to quit drinking. But I also don’t feel like any drop of alcohol belongs in the middle of life or in women’s life, or really, at all at this point. You know, what it’s doing to our health. So, it’s just gonna walk you through a little bit of questions that you can ask yourself, and you know, you come up with the answers. Like, Casey said, You’re the only one who’s going to be able to do this for yourself. It’s, you’re the only one, you’re going to get a lot of help and support. So that is a very highly downloaded little training that I did and I just I love it. And then the other one I did is really based of my Elevate Group Coaching. I do audio boosts for them so they’re little, maybe a minute to five-minute audio boosts for different topics so they can go in I have a listening lounge inside of elevate which is my memberships. They go in and say okay, I want to journal with Lori and so there’s an audio of me like let’s sit down and journal. You know, I don’t want to drink so I have the first sip is alive. That’s one of my favorite things to say they go and listen to the audio boost, you know, so I put a few of those audio boosts together. With a workbook that you can go, and it’s called from blog to boost, and so it just can give you get you out of that little blah, mood that you’re in and boost you up. And that’s what I love doing.

 

Casey McGuire Davidson 55:11

I absolutely love it. Oh my god, I love the listening lounge. That is, that sounds like the very best thing. So, the other thing I wanted to encourage people to do is to actually get support, like you said, You’re the only person who can do it for yourself. But you don’t have to do it alone. I always, and it doesn’t have to be a coach, although they’re awesome. They’re so helpful. I had one. And I always said a Coach was the kindest thing I’d ever done for myself. But it can be a free online group. It can be online programs, it can be podcasts or books. But you know, your best thinking up into this point has gotten you where you are now. And we hire. I mean, I know I did. I wanted to lose weight, I hired a personal trainer, I wanted to work on my nutrition, I paid for Weight Watchers, I forgot takes hired a guitar teacher, I went to yoga classes, I joined a gym, like my husband at some point was like I was working this corporate job, I was working crazy hours, it was pre kids, I had a therapist I was paying for my husband’s like, you are supporting the entire service industry of Seattle, Washington and right out like I was doing all these things to take care of myself. And in my mind, like coaching or program or whatever it is, is just the same as hiring a personal trainer, you want something better for your life and your mental health and your physical health, that you have not been able to do without support and resources and accountability and take that shortcut for God’s sakes. Yeah,

 

56:49

it is a shortcut. And, you know, I’m very, very grateful that so many of the women that come to me, you know, they are ready to invest in themselves. It’s such a part of growth. And you know, I have a Coach, and I’m part of a group coaching program that, you know, I invested in, that could be a whole other podcast, you know, if you’re not willing to invest in yourself and your future, and you’re buying other things that maybe aren’t a priority in your life, you know, take a look at it. And, you know, I don’t know about you, but you know, the fact that coaching is expensive, or groups are expensive. There’s lots of free resources out there. But also, alcohol is very expensive.

 

57:27

Oh my god, I love tracking the money. I started in the beginning the money I saved not drinking and it was $550 in my first 30 days, and I didn’t consume 44 zero bottle, I didn’t ingest 40 bottles of wine in 30 days. I mean, I drink a lot. Let’s be clear. But you know, I was classy drinking. I was the bottle of red wine starting with the two glasses with my husband on a date and then another bottle at home. But it’s expensive.

 

57:57

It’s expensive. I mean, honestly, and I’m not just talking about wine. But you know, for me it was Give me my Chardonnay and my secret credit cards and let me go online shop when the interwebs.

 

Casey McGuire Davidson 58:06

Oh my god, so many people viewed the drunk shop. Yeah,

 

58:09

I was drunk shopping all the time. So, you know, it’s priority. And that also comes when you give up drinking because you realize I don’t need all this shit in my life. I think that as we age, it, just I’m very minimalistic. Now I’m very minimalistic with everything because I just want peace and pretty and calm and quiet. And you invest in experiences and connections and things that bring you joy.

 

58:33

Yeah, that’s what I love. And I know everybody is different. But if you’re in that mindset of oh my gosh, I’m not going to pay for coaching or you know, I’m not going to pay for something that’s going to help me and cut that middleman out and you’re here next year listening to Casey’s podcast, you’re in the same exact place. Let’s encourage you to make another step. Do something else, because I believe you have to have skin in the game if you’re going to make real change. That’s how I feel the free 99 stuff doesn’t work. Yeah,

 

59:01

Yeah. Well, so I know so many people are gonna want to get in touch with you and listen to your podcast and see about your programs. But tell me the best way that people can follow you and learn more about what you do.

 

59:16

Go to my website, www.lorimassicot.com there’s a huge pink contact button there. You could send me an email. That’s the easiest way to get ahold of me and then probably Instagram.

 

Casey McGuire Davidson 59:26

Yeah, I’ll put all your links in the show notes as well.

 

59:54

Thank you so much. It has been so great getting to know you and also having you on the program. Oh my gosh, I just love you.

 

Thank you so much. I am very honored to be here. Thank you for everything that you’re doing. I’m super proud of you. I know how hard my casting is, but it is also one of the most joyful experiences of my life. So, I’m really happy that you’re doing this work.

 

Casey McGuire Davidson 1:00:16

Totally pumped about everything. The podcast is my favorite thing. Yeah, like I just get to meet the coolest people. I learned so much. It’s like personal development for me and meeting other people who are most of the way I think I’ve had two men it I’ll have two men in my first like 35 episodes, but just cool, smart women passionate about life, who have also stopped drinking. So they have that depth and that vulnerability and that honestly, and they’ve done the work like there is nothing better.

 

Yeah, it’s a win win. All right, thank you.

 

1:00:52

Have the best day. Thanks, everybody.

So thank you for coming on here. I couldn’t appreciate it more. 

Thank you for listening to this episode of The Hello Someday Podcast. If you’re interested in learning more about me or the work I do or accessing free resources and guides to help you build a life you love without alcohol, please visit hellosomedaycoaching.com. And I would be so grateful if you would take a few minutes to rate and review this podcast so that more women can find it and join the conversation about drinking less and living more. 

ABOUT THE HELLO SOMEDAY PODCAST

The Hello Someday Podcast helps busy and successful women build a life they love without alcohol. Host Casey McGuire Davidson, a certified life coach and creator of The Sober Girl’s Guide to Quitting Drinking, brings together her experience of quitting drinking while navigating work and motherhood, along with the voices of experts in personal development, self-care, addiction and recovery and self-improvement. 

Whether you know you want to stop drinking and live an alcohol free life, are sober curious, or are in recovery this podcast is for you.

In each episode Casey will share the tried and true secrets of how to drink less and live more. 

Learn how to let go of alcohol as a coping mechanism, how to shift your mindset about sobriety and change your drinking habits, how to create healthy routines to cope with anxiety, people pleasing and perfectionism, the importance of self-care in early sobriety, and why you don’t need to be an alcoholic to live an alcohol free life. 

Be sure to grab the Free Sober Girl’s Guide To Quitting Drinking right here.

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Now if you’re feeling extra loving, I would be really grateful if you left me a review over on iTunes, too. Those reviews help other people find my podcast and they’re also fun for me to go in and read. Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let me know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!

 

 

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