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Why You Need Sober Treats

Why You Need Sober Treats When You’re Quitting Drinking 

In early sobriety sober treats are important, not an indulgence. 

Don’t underestimate their power, because sober treats are essential to helping you both stop drinking and keep going once willpower runs out and motivation fades 

When you’re walking away from drinking you need your time without alcohol to feel rewarding and kind – not like a punishment or deprivation. 

And most of all you need sober treats because you’ve been stuck in a “reward rut” for way too long. 

After decades of ‘adulting’ often our universe of rewards and pleasure options have shrunk to the equivalent of ‘bars and bakeries’ (alcohol and sugar).  

  • Hard day? Wine. 
  • Promotion at work? Wine. 
  • Friday night date? Wine. 
  • Kids being hard? Wine. 
  • A few hours to yourself? Wine. 
  • Anxious? Overwhelmed? Lonely? Wine. 

You deserve more.

Sober treats will open your imagination and help you find and enjoy new sources of pleasure and comfort.

Let’s talk about how to quit drinking without deprivation or relying on willpower by using sober treats. 

You’ll learn how to satisfy and soothe your emotional and physical needs in a way that doesn’t leave you with a headache or a hangover. 

I’m also sharing some of my favorite sober treats and how they help me, both in early sobriety and also today. 

Listen in to learn:

  • The 4 reasons why sober treats are important
  • Why you’re stuck in a ‘reward rut’ 
  • How to move from reactively trying to resist drinking triggers (willpower) to proactively preventing them using self care
  • Why planning sober treats forces you prioritize yourself and establish better boundaries
  • How sober treats rewire your drinking habit loop (cue, craving, response + reward cycle) and make it easier to build new, healthier habits
  • Plus ALL the sober treat ideas to inspire you to take better care of yourself + build a life you enjoy – not just one you tolerate

Are you ready to add The Sobriety Starter Kit course to your sober toolkit?

Here’s everything inside the course…

8 coaching modules with 50 video lessons + all the supporting materials, including

  1. The Mistakes Women Make In Trying To Stop Drinking
  2. The Fundamentals of Building Your Sober Foundation
  3. The Quick Start Guide To Your First 2 Weeks
  4. Mapping out your Reason, Vision, Habits, Triggers, Environment + Support
  5. How to Break Out The Drinking Cycle Using The 4 Laws of Behavior Change
  6. Building Sober Muscles + Momentum 
  7. Navigating Sobriety Challenges – Labels, Other People, Drinking Events, The Mommy Wine Culture, Boredom, PAWS, Avoiding ‘Pre-Lapse’ and Restarting Quickly If You Drink
  8. To 100 Days and Beyond – Creating A Life You Love

Click here to get all the details and sign up now. 

More resources mentioned in the episode

Grab my favorite non-alcoholic beverage from Gruvi and The Athletic Brewing Company

Connect with Casey

Interested in private coaching? Reach out for a Free 30-Minute Discovery Call.

Take a screenshot of your favorite episode, post it on your Instagram and tag me @caseymdavidson and tell me your biggest takeaway!

Want to read the full transcript of this podcast episode? Scroll down on this page.

READ THE TRANSCRIPT OF THIS PODCAST INTERVIEW

All About Sober Treats

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

drinking, sober, sober treats, cornerstone, life, alcohol, sobriety, love, hiking, listening, starter kit, super, wine, podcast, retreats, feel, indulgence, habits, deserve, week, morning, quit drinking without deprivation, rewire your brain, automatic, cue, craving, response, reward, cycle, essential to your success, time, peace, energy, optimism, money, spend them on things that excite you, that bring you joy, the things that you actually deserve, adventure, fun, comfort, indulgence, inspiration, beautiful, pleasurable things in life that you deserve, you need to move from reactive willpower to proactive self-care,
manage triggers, taking moments to decompress to take care of yourself to bring yourself joy, it will actually minimize a lot of those feelings of resentment, it is a key part of positive behavior change of how to break a bad habit and how to build a new habit, Atomic Habits, you need to create a life you actually enjoy and not just one you tolerate, you need to practice establishing boundaries, and prioritizing yourself, make a list, schedule them, making sure they happen, accountability, sober treat list, list what you’re tolerating in life, compare those lists and start adjusting sober treats, drinking is expensive, cut out the hangovers, nonalcoholic drinks, ways to comfort yourself, create what works for you

SPEAKERS: Casey McGuire Davidson 

00:02

Welcome to the Hello Someday Podcast, the podcast for busy women who are ready to drink less and live more. I’m Casey McGuire Davidson, ex-red wine girl turned life coach helping women create lives they love without alcohol. But it wasn’t that long ago that I was anxious, overwhelmed, and drinking a bottle of wine and night to unwind. I thought that wine was the glue, holding my life together, helping me cope with my kids, my stressful job and my busy life. I didn’t realize that my love affair with drinking was making me more anxious and less able to manage my responsibilities.

In this podcast, my goal is to teach you the tried and true secrets of creating and living a life you don’t want to escape from.

Each week, I’ll bring you tools, lessons and conversations to help you drink less and live more. I’ll teach you how to navigate our drinking obsessed culture without a bus, how to sit with your emotions, when you’re lonely or angry, frustrated or overwhelmed, how to self soothe without a drink, and how to turn the decision to stop drinking from your worst case scenario to the best decision of your life.

I am so glad you’re here. Now let’s get started.

Hi there. This is an episode that I have been wanting to record for a really long time. Because it’s all about sober treats, which really are the cornerstone of being able to quit drinking without deprivation, without relying on willpower. I will tell you all about why sober retreats are so important and how they work to actually rewire your brain and your automatic cue craving response and reward cycle. And also, I’ll give you a ton of ideas about all the things in this universe that you can enjoy and love and will satisfy and soothe your emotional and your physical needs that aren’t in a bottle.

 

But before we jump in, I wanted to remind you that today is the very last day to say $50 off my signature course the sobriety starter kit, it is my gift to you to celebrate one year of The Hello Someday Podcast. And if you love the podcast, if you love what I talk about in my approach to quitting drinking, I promise you that you are also going to love the course, because it takes you really deep into how to stop drinking, step by step. And not only that, but how to really change your mindset around drinking, how to approach getting rid of drinking as a habit change as a positive behavior change, without willpower without white knuckling it. And also how to build a life you love, so that you can keep that sober momentum going. And you don’t quit when you get to 45 days or 60 days or even 100 days. Because the benefits of living life without alcohol just keep getting better and better. And it also keeps getting easier and easier as you go along. So I’m offering this discount to encourage you, if you’re listening to this right now, to get off the really shitty cycle of drinking and not drinking and then drinking again, to take this moment while you’re listening to move into a longer period of life without alcohol, where you’re going to feel so much better. Honestly, you deserve to make this easier on yourself. And this is the course that can help you do it. It can help you get past the first two weeks and pass the first two months with all the tools and the lessons and just the framework the step by step framework you need to follow to succeed. And the cost of this course is really affordable. I saved more than the cost of the course at full price. Not even with the $50 discount in just three weeks of not drinking a bottle of wine at night and you get lifetime access to it. So if you’re listening to this podcast, the day it comes out which is May 20. Today is the last day the discount ends at 11:59pm. Pacific time. So if you have been on the fence, but you’ve been thinking about adding The Sobriety Starter Kit course, to your sober toolkit and you haven’t bought it yet, now is the time to grab it. There literally will never be a better time to get started. So go ahead, pause this podcast and pull up the website, www.sobrietystarterkit.com. And you can read all about the course, you can grab the $50 discount before it expires at the end of today. And you can read what other women who’ve taken it, have said about it and how they feel now.

 

Alright, let’s dive into one of my very favorite subjects, which is sober treats. Sober treats are the very best part of quitting drinking, and they’re not self-indulgent, they are actually essential to your success. In the very beginning, you need sober treats to get through each day. You need them to rewire your cue craving, response and reward system in your brain. You need to replace the, I’m tired, I deserve a drink. Or it’s 5pm I deserve a reward with something else. And that is where treats come in. And then when you are through the first few fragile early days, and are out of the drinking cycle, you’ll suddenly find that you have a lot more time, and peace, and energy and optimism and yes, money in your life. And it’s time to spend them and spend them on things that excite you, that bring you joy, the things that you actually deserve – adventure, and fun, and comfort, and indulgence.

 

So here’s some inspiration. I want to talk to you in this episode about all of the incredibly beautiful, fun, and pleasurable things in life that you deserve. That will not leave you with a headache and a hangover and regret. And before we get started, I want to talk about the four reasons that sober treats are important, and not an indulgence, because a lot of women will say two things. They’ll say, one, I buy myself stuff anyway. I don’t really need anything else. Or I don’t have time to be too indulgent. I’m busy, I have kids, I work, I have a lot of responsibilities, or they’re not going to want to spend money or time on sober treats. And I’m here to tell you that that is a big mistake.

 

Number one, sober treats are important, because you need to move from reactive willpower to proactive self-care. Willpower is a reactive way to manage triggers and cravings to drink once they’ve already started. So sober treats, instead our proactive form of self-care to prevent and minimize triggers. So feeling angry or overwhelmed or tired or lonely or frustrated or resentful or unappreciated, all the shit that we occasionally feel even though our lives are pretty good. Those are all triggers to drink. And instead, if you focus on self-care, and daily sober treats in advance, taking moments to decompress to take care of yourself to bring yourself joy, it will actually minimize a lot of those feelings of resentment, a lot of those feelings of anger or being unappreciated or being lonely, so you will be less triggered. And as a bonus, you’re going to be a fucking hell of a lot happier to number two, you are probably currently stuck in a reward read. And you need to rewire your automatic cue craving response reward cycle. I talked about that. But it is a key part of positive behavior change of how to break a bad habit and how to build a new habit. And I went to it in depth on a 3-podcast series I did on Atomic Habits. You can find that wherever you listen, but it’s also outlined in the book Atomic Habits by James Clear. So here’s the thing after decades of adulting often our universe of rewards and pleasure options have shrunk down, basically to the equivalent of bars and bakeries, or treats or alcohol and sugar, hard day. Wine promotion, wine, Friday night wine. Alcohol has become your primary or your only treat. So sober treats will help open your imagination and appreciate new sources of pleasure and of comfort.

 

Number three, you need to create a life you actually enjoy and not just one you tolerate. So a lot of us spend all day doing the things we’re supposed to do and then we drink to tolerate the life we’ve set up for ourselves, and you deserve better. No matter what your take is on life and responsibilities. You are not fucking meant to grit your teeth to get through your days. And then knock yourself unconscious with alcohol, you’re just not, you are meant to be happy. And it is not selfish. You deserve to spend some of your time, your money, your energy on yourself. And to do that you need to eliminate friction in your life. Drinking is expensive. So get yourself a sober treat with the money you’re saving, not drinking, get a massage, get your house cleaned, hire a babysitter, ask your spouse to do a little bit more, he can handle it, or she can handle it.

 

Number four, the reason that sober treats are important, and not an indulgence, or that you need to practice establishing boundaries, and prioritizing yourself. And sober treats. Prioritizing them will force you to do that you likely spend a lot of time taking care of others, your kids, your boss, your partners, your colleagues, the fucking PTA, your parents, your siblings, they all likely need something from you. And we often do very little to take care of ourselves, you may actually feel uncomfortable, taking a few hours after work to go to Pilates, or to go to therapy, or to take a walk or to hide in your bedroom and binge watch bad show. So instead, you’re frustrated, you’re resentful, you’re tired, and you’re exhausted. No wonder you drink. Try to carve out an evening or an afternoon for yourself once a week, I promise you it is better and more fun than being hung over all morning. And honestly, even if you carve out time for yourself, if you are not dragging or zoned out drinking, you will probably get more shit done. But setting up sober treats, scheduling them, making sure they happen, they are going to force you to establish boundaries and prioritize yourself. Your time without alcohol should not. If you do it right, it should not feel like a punishment. It should feel like the kindest thing you’ve done for yourself in a very long time. To get out of the drinking cycle, you need to reduce triggers and find new rewards. And in the beginning, some women have a lot of trouble thinking about what it is like, honestly, we forgotten what we fuckin like other than a bottle of wine, or a beer, or a cocktail, or whatever it is.

 

So to start out, I’m going to encourage you to get out a piece of paper and write down things that make you happy. And if you’re not going on a walk or driving or doing something right now, I’m going to give you a bunch of ideas. So get out a piece of paper now. And write down things that make you happy, literally make a list. And I used to have this in a notepad note on my phone. So I could go to my list of sober treats. But close your eyes and picture the things in life that make you happy. No, not wine, not beer, not happy hours with your friends. Other things. So sleeping in conversations with friends, a massage, a hike, a great book, eating lunch at a bakery, cuddling with your kids, that kind of stuff. As we go through this podcast, I’m gonna mention other stuff. So anytime you hear something that you’re like, Dude, that sounds pretty good. And I haven’t done it in 10 years. Write that down on your things that make me happy. So sober treats list. Number two, write down what you’re tolerating in your life. So were you like me? Did you roll out of bed with a headache every morning? Did you eat lunch at your desk? Did you tolerate the woman from your office who used to come over and sit at the side of the desk and just spew toxic gossip? Do you want to go for a walk in the middle of the workday, but you never do it? Do you spend all the time on your weekends picking up after your kids? Is your car a mess? What are the things that you do everyday that you fuckin hate or that aggravate you or make you grit your teeth? Write those down. And then, here’s what you need to do. You need to compare those lists and start adjusting sober treats. You need more fucking good stuff and less gritting your teeth. I know you don’t think you have time. You do. You don’t think you can spend the money you can. Drinking is expensive. In actual dollars. It’s expensive in time, it’s expensive in energy and health and productivity. It’s expensive. Cut out the hangovers. And you will have time to read a novel money to hire a housekeeper productivity to let you take multiple breaks at work. And in the beginning, you actually need a sober treat every day you need it, you need to plan it in advance, you need to say, Okay, I’m not drinking, I’m going a longer period of time without alcohol. Here’s my Sober Treat on Monday. Here’s my sober treat on Tuesday. Here’s my sober treat on Wednesday. On Friday, I’m getting sushi or I’m getting a pedicure. On Saturday, I am leaving the house for three hours without my kids. And I’m going to go to the gym and sit in the hot tub. Whatever it is, you need to know what they are in advance. You need to write them down, so that you can have a universe of wonderful things that you were doing for yourself that bring you pleasure and joy and you look forward to things you would normally not do during the really shitty first weeks of not drinking. And then you get yourself a sober treat every other day or every third day or once a week until she gets heard and you have cravings and then you need like 17 silver treats at once and that is okay.

 

So every single person is different. I would need you to tap into what brings you pleasure and comfort and joy. Here’s what it was for me here, literally, is what my sober treats looked like in early sobriety. This is what I had in my notepad notebook when I was quitting drinking. New running shoes, peonies, and dahlias. They’re my favorite flowers, massages and pedicures, long walks with podcasts, coffee shops and lattes. These are my sober treats, smoothies and milkshakes, doing slow laps in the pool and my jam. I got my bike tuned up and I went exploring around town that was a soul retreat. In my gym, I went in the hot tub in the steam room. So retreat, binge worthy shows. A lot of women get sober by bingeing shows that is totally cool. It is something to look forward to at the end of the day. It distracts you and it fills up the time when you would normally drink reading novels, Pinterest, dreaming about new travel destinations. Brunch at restaurants. Brunch, not dinner, so much easier to deal with garden shops. I plan for big milestones. I went on yoga retreats, and I went kayaking. Visiting the farmers market on a Saturday or a Sunday morning or Thursday night. Big sober treat. For me, sushi and chocolate. I got sushi pretty much every Friday and early sobriety. And I looked forward to it and I loved it. I did an online style course about how to style your look, regardless of whether you’ve lost weight in your own closet without shopping. It was super fun. It was interesting. I learned a lot. It was something that I was like hey, I’m doing this for myself. And I’m not finding that joy in a bottle. Playing guitar. I picked up my guitar for the first time in five years. I also remodeled my bedroom. I did a lot of Pinterest dreaming about what I wanted my bedroom to look like before I used to just pass out there and wake up hung over. I got myself a new blanket that was like ivory manqué to die for. I got myself turquoise throw pillows I put actually put curtains in my bedroom that were beautiful.

 

There’s a lot of stuff you can do every single one of them sober treats with money I saved not knocking myself unconscious with wine. Engraved bracelets, I got myself milestone bracelets that I used to wear for my 30 days, my 60 days, and they sort of reminded me of the path I was on. So, you can get them on Etsy or anywhere else. They’re cuff bracelets. That’s what I liked. And they said something that reminded me to stay here or to not drink today or that I’m a badass, whatever resonates with you.

 

So, for me also, all the awesome, all beds the nonalcoholic drinks really helped me out and were total Sober Treats. So, I love nonalcoholic beer from the athletic Brewing Company. My favorite is upside Don which is their golden they also have an IPA I order it online. We can also find athletic Brewing Company beer now in our local grocery store that didn’t used to be the case. I also love groovy nonalcoholic Prosecco and bubbly. Rosé 100%. No alcohol, I swear to God, you couldn’t tell. So that is groovy. I’ll put a link in the show notes. But if you listen to that huge list, that’s a lot of sober treats. Those are a giant list of things that I really enjoyed and look forward to, and could go to say, this is what I really enjoy. That is not in a bottle. And trust me, I got myself all this shit, right. I got myself new running shoes, I bought myself flowers. I scheduled massages and pedicures, I took long walks, I went to coffee shops and out to brunch. I got the shit for my bedroom. And I loved every fucking minute of having that. And chilling out in my bedroom. I went to garden shops, I played guitar. I don’t know if you’re like me, but that sounds pretty fucking good. That sounds like a great spring. I quit drinking in February. And I had a lovely spring and summer in early sobriety. It was not deprivation. Now, I wanted to share with you some of my clients’ sober traits, because every single person is different. And as you listen to this, you might even hear the personalities of some of the women who I love, who I’ve worked with, just to give you an idea of both of the amount of traits that you might need, because you should have a lot of them and you’ll build them over time. But also like everyone’s different. I hope you’ll get some new inspiration, some new ideas of ways to comfort yourself and take care of yourself.

 

So my client Annie, she loved a morning cup of coffee outside. She loved yoga on her front porch. I wish I did yoga on my front porch every morning. I totally didn’t. But I did do morning workouts, which was another treat of mine. I forgot to mention, she loved water from a glass bottle. And she also had this yellow water thermos that she got, which was so damn cute. And she was like, this is my sober treat, fucking love this thing. She loved music and writing and ice cream sandwiches. That was something where she used to crave a drink at 5pm. And then she was like, I’m getting my ice cream sandwich. And by the way, way better than a bottle of wine. In the long term, frankly, in the short term to fresh fruit. She loved a Mexican restaurant in her favorite town.

 

Now Sandy, another client of mine, loved new colored pencils and pens, and coloring books and a new journal. She loved Marvel movies with her son. Now for me, I don’t really love Marvel movies at all. So just like I said, everybody is different, right? What lights you up is not going to be what lights me up, and you need to create what works for you. She loved hiking and went hiking often. That was her big thing. Once she quit drinking. She loved early bedtimes and family swims in the pool. She also lived in New Mexico. So, the pool, the hiking the air conditioning, so much sense for her. I lived in Seattle in February or rained all the time. So coffee shops, totally my jam.

 

And then my client Stephanie really loved online watercolor painting. And she got this subscription box from this company called let’s make art. And she painted just these gorgeous paintings. They send you how to paint in the watercolors. And that was her big activity. She loved driving around in her friend’s Jeep with the top down. She was a huge fan of groovier nonalcoholic, bubbly rosé. And she also loved floating in a swimming pool and getting facials and a slice. And there was this place by her house called Smith Island cake. And she used to go once a week and get just this decadent, single slice of the cake.

 

So for Stephanie, when I’m like, what’s your sober treat? What are you going to do to make yourself happy today she’s like, I’m going to paint? I’m going to call my friend and see if she wants to go for a drive in her Jeep with the top down on Saturday. I’m going to this fire pit with the neighbors they’re going to be drinking. I’m going to bring my groovy nonalcoholic bubbly Rosé. And you know what on Sunday, I’m going to take a nap and float in the swimming pool and get myself a slice of that amazing cake. That’s pretty good. That’s a pretty good day and a good week.

 

My client Melissa, who is super outdoorsy and woo and I love her, and I love her energy. She loved Lake swims and she loved lying on a warm asphalt driveway in the sun. She lives in this very Cool farmhouse. She loves convertible rides and making pies and hammock naps and molasses cookies and rhubarb crisp. She cooks a lot more than I did. And totally impressed by that. She meditates which I should do, and I never do. She loves skinny dipping. Melissa is the one who introduced me to athletic brewing company’s nonalcoholic beer, and I will forever be grateful because like Beck’s and odor’s Dude, that shit is awful like you need the good stuff. She loves wildflowers and picnics and cuddling animals and yen and yoga Nedra and nature. So for her for Melissa very earthy treats very tactical, experimental, baking, cooking, exploring the outdoors. I love that that’s what brought her joy and pleasure and comfort.

 

And for my client, Megan, she has to this day she’s two years sober, but she started this way in the beginning. She has a night ritual that includes a lavender oil bath and lighting the candle and playing relaxing music in her room. It signals the end of her day and she has of course like we all do a really busy life with two girls in high school and a five-year-old son. So her night ritual is a consistent sober treat in her day. She has a coffee mug that says Today’s a good day and she loves that. She goes jogging in a park and runs hills and she loves that too. She gives herself a facial and a manicure or a pedicure. She loves walks in the garden and observing what’s growing and needs tending. Megan loves trips to Starbucks with her girls. And her drink is a steamed coconut milk me Stowe and iced coffee treats like she’s like she gets this and she’s like this is my treat for being sober. And she loves ginger kombucha as well. So we are so used to wine or beer or cocktail. That is the only taste that we crave. And there is a universe of yummy things out there that you could truly enjoy that are not in a bottle that will give you a headache and a hangover and a new day one and regret. So for Megan ginger kombucha, that is awesome. She also got herself a weighted blanket at night in a sunlamp as needed for anxiety and seasonal affective disorder. She learned to make vegan treats like carrot cake, and she made herself Chai with turmeric or ginger tea for warm, spicy calming drinks. And she loves hit workouts and yoga workouts. And so for Megan, literally This is her list. She has this list. She’s like Jesus, I’m having a really bad day. I’m craving a drink. I want to check out or just I’m resentful. I’m irritated. She’s like, let me go down the list what sounds good right now.

 

And my client Kathy she is a huge hiker. She lives in Bend and in Seattle. So her list was hiking massage. She loves new lip gloss or her mascara. She liked me gets jewelry to celebrate her big sober milestones. And she is also well past a year of not drinking. She is super outdoorsy, which is something that I wish I did more often. So snowshoeing mountain biking, yoga, peloton bike workouts, a big sober treat for her because she has two dogs is getting her house cleaned. So all that money she used to spend on drinking wine, she gets her house cleaned, it makes her happy. It gives her time and energy to actually enjoy her life. So she doesn’t want to check out with drinking. She loves boating, and online personal development courses, getting a new book bingeing on Netflix, outdoor live music, or getting in a hot tub. Again, so many good things. And it’s also really important when you do any of these to literally say, this is my treat for being sober, because it helps you combat that automatic idea that life without alcohol sucks that if you go to a party and other people are drinking that you never get to do anything fun. You have nothing for yourself. You’re being deprived, your only trade because you’re not. You have so many treats and rewards and indulgences in your life. You know what? Going mountain biking or snowshoeing or hiking in the morning getting up early. Without a hangover and feeling good about your body. That is a treat for not drinking. That is a treat. for not being hung over.

 

Alright, I’m going to stop using examples because I’m probably spinning your head on this, but I wanted to mention my client Becca, because she has a great treat list too. So for her, she loves fly fishing, which my husband loves fly fishing. So that’s cool. He’s super impressed by her. He wishes I enjoyed it, which I don’t. She introduced me to this lavender and Eucalyptus pillow spray that I actually have by my bed now and I put on every night. It is super awesome and helps me relax and helps me sleep and I really look forward to it. She also took a masterclass on the enneagram. And I actually interviewed her teacher Jim’s Atman on the podcast. But she said it was so cool. And by the way, having a class on something super interesting like the enneagram is something to look forward to. You get to learn is something that will take up the hours when you would normally drink in the evening. You connect with new people. It’s just super cool. Becca bought herself new satin pillowcases in early sobriety. She loved great books. She also when she was feeling down, loves laughing at Jimmy Fallon’s hashtag videos and sent me a few of those, which is super fun, camping getting out in nature or time with her girls. So get creative, you have a lot of time when you’re not drinking those evenings, those weekend afternoons. And you’re going to be getting up early, hopefully feeling good. I mean, after your first couple of weeks when you are very tired and your first week, you’re still not sleeping well. And you just need a lot of naps in the beginning. But after that, start a new journal or a meditation morning practice. The Artists’ Way by Julia Cameron is a great place to start. Take an online course. Like I said, I did one on personal styling. My client Stephanie takes classes on painting online, you can learn to play guitar or piano or do creative writing, you can learn a language, or you can learn how to make chocolate or baking, you name it, or pick a beautiful destination for a road trip. Every weekend when you’re like what am I going to do today I’m not drinking, pick a place where you want to drive, go to a lavender field, go on a hike, sit by a river, anything, do something that you look forward to and then say this is my treat for being sober. The other thing I love to do, especially when so many of us think about the things we won’t be doing in a particular season or the thing that that we’re not going to be used to in a particular season when you’re not drinking. So you may think of particular events, like football games, or our summer barbecues or anything else.

 

For decades, our lives and habits and traditions have been structured around drinking. But as you approach a new season, for example, summer, it is great to make a bucket list. So you are focused on all the great things you get to do. Because you’re not drinking rather than dwelling on the things, you’re choosing not to do, or the events you’re going to when everyone else is going to be drinking and you’re not going to be drinking. So this summer, what are all the things you’ve always wanted to do, but have never done because you’re busy drinking or hung over? Or whatever structuring your life around alcohol. What about paddle boarding or hiking or riding your bike on the regular? What about creating a beautiful vegetable garden you will have time and energy now. So add things to your list and start checking them off. You can plan a picnic, that’s something that is super fun. invite people or don’t invite people but something decadent. If you’re listening to this later in the winter, great winter so retreats are a fireplace and hot chocolate. Maybe you never let yourself have hot chocolate because you’re saving your calories for alcohol. Get the one with the whipped cream and all of the marshmallows You deserve it or try snowshoeing you can rent snowshoes. Super cool, like a long walk but exciting. And it’s something you probably never done or just stay in bed.

 

You are probably going to be way more productive, not drinking and not hung over. So, you’re able to curl up in bed and read a book and sleep in indulgent a spa day go on an adventure. So we actually booked a yurt. They have these cool yurts up on Orcas Island in Seattle, where they’ve got a mahogany bed inside, it’s this canvas tent and chairs and you’re still right on a lake and you go hiking. And Mike and I, my husband, had a tent, and our kids had a tent, a separate one. And you could pay a little extra. And they would literally actually bring you on a tray. Coffee in like the silver coffee pot. I know it sounds ridiculous. But I used to always drink when I went camping, right? We would sit around the fire and basically get drunk. That was what we did. Our kids were there, and we get drunk anyway. So the silver pot of coffee being brought outside our tent in the morning. Oh my God. That was incredible. And I loved camping, not drinking. I woke up feeling great. I wasn’t crawling out of my tent, feeling like something died in my mouth. So complete treat for being sober. I was like, my life doesn’t suck without alcohol. This is awesome.

 

Alright, next steps. I hope you’ve gotten some good ideas here. Make your list of sober treats. I want you right now to plan which treats you’re going to get for yourself every day next week, particularly on Friday night or Saturday night. I want you to roll over in the morning. And instead of thinking, Oh, Jesus Christ, I can’t believe I did it again. I feel like total garbage. I slept horribly. How am I going to handle today? Instead of that, because you’re not drinking. I want you to roll over and ask yourself in the morning, how can I take care of myself today? What do I need to do for my mind and my body? And I want you to build a life you enjoy, not just one you tolerate. And check out at the end of the day. Because you feel like you’ve got nothing else. Prioritize yourself. And remember to enjoy, have fun, you deserve it. It is not selfish, and sober retreats are super important. They are not an indulgence. So I hope you’ve gotten some really good ideas about how to take care of yourself without drinking.

 

As I wrap up this episode, I wanted to remind you again, if you’re listening to this on the day, it’s released May 20. Today’s the last day to grab The Sobriety Starter Kit at a $50 discount. So, if you’re interested in adding this course, to your sober toolkit, head on over to www.sobrietystarterkit.com. And if you’re listening to this episode later, it is still a great time to invest in the sobriety starter kit. It will help you give you tools to actually enjoy life without alcohol. And again, I saved more in my first three weeks in 21 days not drinking, then the cost of lifetime access to the course. The course is really good. I truly think it will help you on your journey to feeling better and will help you get out of the drinking cycle. It includes my entire coaching framework that I work through with my private one on one coaching clients. Everything you need from how to get through your first two weeks, step by step and day by day to how to move through day 100 and beyond. It will help you take a look at your habits, how you’ve set up your schedule, and your environment to help you succeed and not self-sabotage. You don’t want to keep starting and stopping and starting again. You were doing the hardest part over and over again. And you deserve to get the support you need to feel better. The course will help you figure out what your triggers really are because they actually might not be what you think they are and how to add support at the moment that you need it. There is a whole module on navigating sobriety challenges, milestones like when you hit 30 days and 50 days, and how to handle vacations because you are going to love sober travel. But there are specific strategies and plans you should make in advance small calibration small adjustments for vacations. So they are not a moment where you throw away all the good work that you’ve done. There’s a module and lessons where we talk about getting over fuck it moments and emotions like overwhelm and frustration and boredom and loneliness and also how to navigate the mommy wine culture like you’re going to a book club. You’re going to a girl’s night out. How do you navigate that without starting to drink again, how do you talk to your friends about what you’re doing or your partner without labels, how to ask for the help you need, including how to ask that your drink of choice not be in the house for a period of time in a way that feels empowering and doable, and not like something that you don’t want to ask your partner for, or that you can’t ask your partner for. Because you don’t want them to judge you or label you, or you feel like you should be able to do it on your own.

 

In The Sobriety Starter Kit, there is an entire module on applying the principles of what works for long term positive habit and behavior change, tailored specifically to stopping drinking. And it’s based on the work by James clear, in the best-selling book, atomic habits. There are also lessons to help you work on emotional sobriety and setting healthy boundaries, and how to say no to things that overwhelm you and pack your schedule. So you feel like you have nothing for yourself, how to say no, without feeling like a bitch or a slacker, literally scripts to follow, how to protect your sober momentum. And let you go of all the things that have been holding you back or weighing you down your fears and your assumptions, the inner critic voice that’s telling you you’re not good enough, or you need to hustle all the time. And there’s also sections. And I’ll also teach you how to build the new, how to create a life you really love, and how to figure out what you love what lights you up more than wine more than drinking more than cocktails. The Sobriety Starter Kit includes 50 videos in eight modules, and you get lifetime access to the coaching program. There is so much in there, not just for when you’re trying to stop drinking. Or if you’re just sober, curious, it will open up your mind and your world to what is wonderful about life without alcohol. And honestly what untapped potential you have in your life that you have been tapping down and holding yourself back and keeping yourself small. Because you’re not sure you want to let go of alcohol. It is a great time to add it to your toolkit. So if you’re listening to this episode on May 20, you can save $50 on the kit today as part of my one-year podcast celebration. And even if you’re not listening to this on day one, and even if you’re not listening to this when the discounts available, I really want to encourage you to invest in making your life happier and healthier. It’s a coaching course that really will serve you for a lifetime. So if you want to jump in, head on over to the The Sobriety Starter Kit to get started. And if you don’t that is totally cool too. And I want you to make your sober treats list and start spoiling yourself.

So thank you for coming on here. I couldn’t appreciate it more. 

Thank you for listening to this episode of The Hello Someday Podcast. If you’re interested in learning more about me or the work I do or accessing free resources and guides to help you build a life you love without alcohol, please visit hellosomedaycoaching.com. And I would be so grateful if you would take a few minutes to rate and review this podcast so that more women can find it and join the conversation about drinking less and living more. 

ABOUT THE HELLO SOMEDAY PODCAST

The Hello Someday Podcast helps busy and successful women build a life they love without alcohol. Host Casey McGuire Davidson, a certified life coach and creator of The Free 30 Day Guide to Quitting Drinking – 30 Tips For Your First Month Alcohol-Free, brings together her experience of quitting drinking while navigating work and motherhood, along with the voices of experts in personal development, self-care, addiction and recovery and self-improvement. 

Whether you know you want to stop drinking and live an alcohol free life, are sober curious, or are in recovery this podcast is for you.

In each episode Casey will share the tried and true secrets of how to drink less and live more. 

Learn how to let go of alcohol as a coping mechanism, how to shift your mindset about sobriety and change your drinking habits, how to create healthy routines to cope with anxiety, people pleasing and perfectionism, the importance of self-care in early sobriety, and why you don’t need to be an alcoholic to live an alcohol free life. 

Be sure to grab the Free 30 Day Guide To Quitting Drinking right here.

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