How To Go After What You Really Want – The Desire Factor
What do you desire in life and what’s holding you back from having it?
- Are you worried that you’re selfish or self-indulgent for wanting more than you have?
- Or that your dreams aren’t practical or achievable?
- Do you feel like you’re too busy, with too many responsibilities to go after something new (and you’ll have time to focus on it ‘someday’)?
- Or are you scared to want something because you don’t want to experience disappointment or failure?
Today we’re going to talk about how to give yourself permission to want more in life and how to manifest your desires.
My guest is Christy Whitman. Christy is a Transformational Leader, Celebrity Coach and the New York Times bestselling author of The Art of Having It All. She is also the CEO and founder of the Quantum Success Learning Academy & Quantum Success Coaching Academy, a 12-month Law of Attraction coaching certification program. Christy has helped thousands of people worldwide to achieve their goals through her empowerment seminars, speeches, and coaching sessions and products.
In this episode, we discuss:
- How to align your thoughts, beliefs, and actions to move closer to your greatest desires
- Why fear of disappointment stops us from reaching for more
- What obstacles are standing in the way of getting what you want
- Why you need to shed the guilt of wanting something more than you have right now
- Why Christy decided to stop drinking 3 years ago
More About Christy Whitman
Christy has appeared on “Today” and The Morning Show and her work has been featured in People Magazine, Seventeen, Woman’s Day, Hollywood Life, and Teen Vogue, among others. She has helped thousands of people worldwide to achieve their goals through her empowerment seminars, speeches, and coaching sessions and products.
Christy’s life-changing message reaches over 200,000 people a month and her work has been promoted by and featured with esteemed authors and luminaries such as Marianne Williamson, Dr. Wayne Dyer, & Marci Shimoff.
Connect with Christy Whitman
Learn more about Christy, head over to https://www.christywhitman.com/
Follow Christy on Instagram @christywhitman1
Connect on Facebook Christy Whitman International Inc.
Join the FREE 30-day training system that breaks the chains on the language patterns that are keeping you from success. https://www.watchyourwords.com/
Purchase Christy’s new book, THE DESIRE FACTOR: How to Embrace Your Materialistic Nature to Reclaim Your Full Spiritual Power . This book will help guide readers through a deeper, more spiritually connected journey of taking the everyday desires we all share and using them to manifest a more personal, more dynamic sense of fulfillment.
Want more support, resources and tools to help you go alcohol-free?
You can Drink Less + Live More today with The Sobriety Starter Kit.
It’s the private, on-demand coaching course you need to break out of the drinking cycle – without white-knuckling it or hating the process.
Connect with Casey
Set up a 30-Minute call with Casey to learn more about private coaching or The Sobriety Starter Kit Online Course.
Take a screenshot of your favorite episode, post it on your Instagram and tag me @caseymdavidson and tell me your biggest takeaway!
Want to read the full transcript of this podcast episode? Scroll down on this page.
READ THE TRANSCRIPT OF THIS PODCAST INTERVIEW
The Desire Factor With Christy Whitman
desire, drinking, feel, people, create, energy, abundance, money, alignment, thinking, universe, literally, purse, life, talk, Venice, Coach, flow, cruise ship, disappointment, people pleasing, internal thought work that you do every day, vision, universal laws, well-being, manifest, release the suffering
SPEAKERS: Casey McGuire Davidson + Christy Whitman
Welcome to the Hello Someday Podcast, the podcast for busy women who are ready to drink less and live more. I’m Casey McGuire Davidson, ex-red wine girl turned life coach helping women create lives they love without alcohol. But it wasn’t that long ago that I was anxious, overwhelmed, and drinking a bottle of wine and night to unwind. I thought that wine was the glue, holding my life together, helping me cope with my kids, my stressful job and my busy life. I didn’t realize that my love affair with drinking was making me more anxious and less able to manage my responsibilities.
In this podcast, my goal is to teach you the tried and true secrets of creating and living a life you don’t want to escape from.
Each week, I’ll bring you tools, lessons and conversations to help you drink less and live more. I’ll teach you how to navigate our drinking obsessed culture without a bus, how to sit with your emotions, when you’re lonely or angry, frustrated or overwhelmed, how to self soothe without a drink, and how to turn the decision to stop drinking from your worst case scenario to the best decision of your life.
I am so glad you’re here. Now let’s get started.
Hi there. My guest today is New York Times number one best-selling author and Life Coach, Christy Whitman. Christie’s New York Times bestselling book, The Art of having it all has helped millions of readers shift their mindset from can’t, to can. And her new book, The Desire Factor: How To Embrace Your Materialistic Nature, To Reclaim Your Full Spiritual Power, helps guides readers through a deeper, more spiritually connected journey of taking the everyday desires we all share and using them to manifest a more personal more dynamic sense of fulfillment. I’m really excited to talk to Christy about this. And Christy also stopped drinking three years ago. So I’m really excited to have this conversation. So Christy, welcome to the podcast.
Thank you, Casey, for having me. I’m so excited to talk with you. Yeah, I’m excited to have you here. So just to start us off, tell us what your new book The Desire Factor is all about?
Well, it’s really about all of us have desires, they’re just naturally born within us, they start out as an idea, and then they become a desire. And what we do with them is really important to understand because a lot of times we’ll get a desire, and we’ll either give ourselves permission to have it and we flow with it. And we feel expanded by it. And we become some someone different because of it, we it’s really about who we become in the process of attaining that desire it a lot of times it’s not about the actual desire itself, or the manifestation, but who we become in the process. But so many people deny themselves, the desire, when it comes through, they talk themselves out of it, well, who am I to do that, I can’t do that, I don’t have enough time to do that. I don’t know how to do that. And so more people are so focused on what they don’t want and what they can’t have, or what they can’t achieve, or they think about the house and the what’s and the who’s and they don’t realize that there’s a power so much bigger than them that gave them the desire in the first place. And that when we co create with that, that energetic power, that life that’s literally breathing us and beating our hearts, that we can have a life that we have absolutely love and be surprised and delighted by it.
Casey McGuire Davidson 03:38
So basically, it’s when we know deep down that we want something and yet we tell ourselves it’s impractical or selfish, or is it going to happen anyway and so, kind of push that away to you know, the idea of like, I should be happy with what I already have.
Right? Exactly. So I found myself you know, all my books download through me and from that what I call the council so you know, higher awareness and so I channeled them and I was on a cruise ship with my family and I literally would just got back from a day in Venice, Italy. And I was holding this beautiful Dolce and Gabbana bag in my hand and I was appreciating the craftsmanship and I was pretty appreciating the texture and the smell and everything. And I was thinking about when I went and made created that desire. And it was years prior when I was just dating my husband and I had gone to Italy for on a two-week trip with my mom and my dad and my boyfriend at the time. And we went to Venice and I just started my coaching business and so there was no way. I mean, I remember going into Venice and seeing Versace and Valentino and Dior and Chanel and Fendi, and I was like, Whoa, you know, I was. I love high fashion. And I was just so excited but the thought of me purchasing a purse or anything else at that time was not practical because of the fact that I just started my business. So I declare for myself that someday, I’m going to come back to Venice and I’m going to buy whatever bag I want as a symbol of my success. So here I was back on this cruise ship holding this bag. And I was really basking in really what I created because not only my parents were on the cruise ship, I gifted them this amazing cruise, my two boys who we didn’t even have back then were on the cruise ship with us, we all spent the day you know, in Venice together, my husband, I got to go shopping and enjoy ourselves. And this bag is a symbol of that success. It’s a symbol of creating a multimillion-dollar business. It’s a symbol of all the people that have been impacted by my work. And that is like my little token of what that symbolize, and a thought came in Well, that’s so, so shallow. And I was like, whoa, wait a minute, how is all that shallow? Because my desire was a purse. And so that’s when the information just started coming through me because it’s that part that negates the beauty of what we’ve created or what that we want to create. And it’s all really for the betterment it’s all for our expansion. It’s all for our freedom. It’s all for creativity, we’re all creators. And when we close off that creator part of us we feel bad
that’s really interesting. So your desire you’re saying your desire was for a specific thing but what got you there with everything else is that right?
Yeah, so I mean my desire was the bag right and yet what it represented, right what it was a symbol of his success. Yeah, is a successful business. You know, there was a time when I first bought my very first, I talked about this in the desire factor where I really wanted a coach purse in my young 20s and I never bought a coach purse before and I was a smoker. And I told myself that in order to get that coach purse I needed to quit smoking because the person that carries that coach purse is a nonsmoker. Now I know there’s probably a lot of people that smoke this carry coach purse, but in my mind, it was like if I need to get if I’m going to get it was like the carrot right is that carrot dangling. If I was going to get that coach purse, I needed to become a nonsmoker. And that purse literally helped me become the person I am I quit smoking, I got in better shape, I became healthier. I you know, and it was literally that carrot, that desire factor that had me move in that direction. So now I’m a nonsmoker and have been for 27 years.
Casey McGuire Davidson 07:39
Yeah, it’s interesting, because you know, in your book, I know you talk about how to basically leverage the, what you call materialistic desires that we all already have to find a deeper and more valuable sense of self and sense of purpose. So tell us how you kind of guide people through that?
Well, it’s based on seven principles that are universal principles. And the first one is really alignment, because we have to be in alignment with our consciousness, which What is consciousness? It’s what we say, what we think, how we feel our perspective and the actions that we take. And it’s aligning that consciousness with what we do desire with what we want with what we want to experience. And it’s funny, because, you know, I know you and I were talking, Casey that a lot of your listeners are women that are either want to stop drinking, or that have stopped drinking or kind of thinking about that. And I stopped drinking three years ago. And it wasn’t because I, I’ve declared I never want to drink again, it was for me is that what I drank, I got out of alignment. And why this is important is because alignment is where we are in CO creative partnership. And we feel really good. That’s where we are able to feel joy, where we’re able to feel creative, we’re able to feel the clarity of what we want, we’re able to feel on purpose, where it’s like being in the zone, right being in that flow. It’s the opposite of feeling anxious and overworked and overtired. And, you know, overwhelmed and all of that, when you’re in alignment, that’s where we get to experience how life is supposed to be. And when we are looking for something like a vise like drinking, to make us feel better right to use as an escape, is because we’re not in alignment. So we start off not feeling good. We either don’t feel good about ourselves or accomplishment. We feel trapped. We feel overwhelmed, worked overwhelmed, whatever it is. We don’t feel alignment, and then we look at something, we naturally want to feel better. So we go and reach for something to make us feel better, and that a lot of times drinks for women, right? But what we don’t understand is it pulls us further away. Our center, then pulling us towards our center. And there’s really only one thing that can bring us that fulfillment and that connection. And that is our divine energy. That’s the part of us that’s breathing us. It’s beating our hearts, it’s digesting our foods, it’s growing your nails in our hair. And it’s the source where all things come. It’s a source we’re all desires come from and all the forms that are created, it’s all energy. And we can literally flow Connect, tap into that energy in any given moment to feel better. So someone that’s feeling off, they might be feeling off because they don’t feel supported. Right. So then they go and drink and now they feel even less supported, right? Because they didn’t get to the core, the heart of the matter.
Well, when you are clear on what you don’t want, and you clear, you’re clear on what you feel you’re lacking. Will you have a source that’s right there to provide you with the energy. So if you’re feeling you need some comfort, allow yourself to just feel the energy of comfort, be expanded by that comfort. If you’re feeling like you need to be supported that source that energy of support is right, there to fill you up in that energy of support. So when we’re understanding and some of the principles in the book, one of the principles that’s my favorite is the principle of having whatever we perceive we’re missing or not having, or we don’t have enough of, when you connect with that, with the energy of the “having” of what you want, you’re now in vibrational match to it and now you can create it.
Casey McGuire Davidson 11:35
If you’re listening to this episode and have been trying to take a break from drinking, but keep starting and stopping and starting again, I want to invite you to take a look at my on demand coaching course, The Sobriety Starter Kit. The Sobriety Starter Kit is an online self study, sober coaching course that will help you quit drinking and build a life you love without alcohol without white knuckling it or hating the process. The course includes the exact step-by-step coaching framework I work through with my private coaching clients, but at a much more affordable price than one-on-one coaching. And The Sobriety Starter Kit is ready, waiting and available to support you anytime you need it, when it fits into your schedule. You don’t need to work your life around group meetings or classes at a specific day or time. This course is not a 30 day challenge, or a one day at a time approach. Instead, it’s a step-by-step formula for changing your relationship with alcohol. The course will help you turn the decision to stop drinking from your worst case scenario to the best decision of your life. You will sleep better and have more energy, you’ll look better and feel better, you’ll have more patience and less anxiety. And with my approach you won’t feel deprived or isolated in the process. So if you’re interested in learning more about all the details, please go to www.sobrietystarterkit.com. You can start at any time and I would love to see you in the course.
That’s really interesting because you know that’s one of the things that I always talk to the women I work with about is you know when you have that desire of Okay, I want to drink one of the first questions I ask them is why what emotion Are you having that is making you want to drink what need Are you trying to fill right and so they’re feeling hurt unappreciated, less than happy wanting to celebrate more wanting to heighten something. And then once you kind of get clear on that you can actually solve for that emotion in a way that actually meets that needs more clearly. And that sounds similar to what you’re saying in terms of finding alignment in terms of what you actually want.
It’s exactly it’s giving yourself what you want, instead of looking, you’re going to the directly to the source instead of looking at wine or alcohol as the source of what you need. It’s It’s literally going to what really sources you and can really fulfill you versus something that’s a temporary fix. Because once you find you know, it’s actually very easy. I have a program that I do every January and I’m amazed how many people whether it’s advice for someone is wine, or it could be sugar, it could be weed, it could be shopping, you know, it’s like it could be coffee for someone. It could be for somebody, I’ve had so many people, once they start feeling and practicing that inner energetic alignment, the desire to have something to escape with, you don’t have the desire. So it’s working at the core first, and then the desire for the wine or whatever goes away. That’s exactly what happened to me. I didn’t wake up one day I go today, today, I never drinking again, I literally just went, I’m so fulfilled, like, I feel so expanded, that the thought of drinking, it’s like, I feel repulsed by it. And I mean, I was a coffee drinker. Same process. since I was six years old. My parents used to drink coffee. So I would drink coffees probably why I’m so small. But I would drink lots of coffee. It was like what I big a big cup of coffee with like, lots of milk and lots of sugar, you know, so but I was always drinking coffee and was addicted like three, four cups a day. And all of a sudden, it was like, I started feeling that inner alignment, and I don’t have the desire for coffee. My husband makes it I’m like, Oh, that smells good, but no desire to reach for it. We’ll go out for dinner with friends that I used to go drinking with, you know, and I give myself a little something special. I’ll take like a Perrier with ice and put in a little bit of cranberry juice with a straw. And that’s kind of like my little celebrate, you know, celebratory drink when we go out and they’re all having bottles of wine. And you know, and it’s kind of fun watching someone else get like a little sloppy about the way they talk. Because I’m not there with them. Right? It’s, I’m very present a very connected and my worries were, oh, I’m not going to be as much fun. You know, they’re not going to they’re not going to want to continue to go out with me because I don’t drink anymore. And that was kind of a big worry that I had. And the first couple of times, it was a little like you’re not drinking. I’m like, Yeah, I just don’t feel like it tonight. It’s not that I’ve declared, I’m never gonna drink again. But I just, I have no desire and my cousin be like, but we always get Cosmo’s together. And I’m like, Yeah, I just don’t feel like it. She’s like, okay, so she would have her Cosmo, you know, and it wouldn’t be like a big deal. And I think getting over that initial Oh, what are other people going to feel in my presence? Am I still going to be fun? Are they going to want to be with me, you know, and I had to just let all that go? Because it’s like, I felt connected. And I didn’t feel like I needed or even wanted to drink.
And so what did you want more than that? Because a lot of times people are like, Okay, I’m gonna put this away my, my go to sort of knee jerk coping mechanism to make everything more fun, less boring, you know, more tolerable, etc. Like, how did you get to what the bigger reason is or what you wanted more than that.
So it was several things, I got to a point where when I would drink, even if it was a glass of wine, I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night, I doubt hot flashes, and I would get a bad night’s sleep. So the next day, I would be tired. And it was it wasn’t worth it. Right? That just doesn’t didn’t feel good. To me, it was kind of like, okay, drink or not sleep. Right. And, and that didn’t feel good. And so health was one of the reasons like to feel better, to, to feel just my connection to my divine so that to feel conscious, to be able to be consciously able to choose how I want to feel. And those are all the different things like to be able to keep my vibration in a high place. Because things like alcohol and drugs and stuff like that, even though they are a temporary fix. They lower vibration.
Casey McGuire Davidson 18:39
Yeah, absolutely. I mean, better sleep is the number one thing that is like this huge bonus of not drinking and it’s so common did not even realize that that’s the issue with your sleep.
Or in losing weight, too. Yeah, so many people, you know, they don’t realize all that, you know, they do, but they don’t seem to care when it’s like the empty calories. And, you know, and how it spikes up your sugar and your, you know, messes with your metabolism and all that stuff. So I mean, all that is is a just, I mean, I eat less too. It’s funny.
Yeah, notice. Yeah, absolutely. Well, so, talk to me about what the obstacles are that are standing in the way of people manifesting what they desire.
Well, a lot of it number one is our own consciousness. It’s our own thoughts that, Oh, I can’t have that. Or who am I to do that? Or you know what, it’d be great to do that. But I’m already so tired and overworked that I can’t put another thing on my plate. That’s just not possible. I don’t know how you know, all of that self-talk. So it’s a lot of the conch the confidence, right? And thinking, Oh, well, you know, I’m fine the way it is that that feeling of, you know, just that feeling that it’s going to take too much to get it because I’m in at the perspective of I’m an app to work really hard to do that. And it’s not hard work.
Casey McGuire Davidson 20:03
So that’s it. I’m already exhausted, right? Like, I can’t add one more thing to my plate. So I might as well just feel like this is good enough what’s happening right now?
Yeah, let me just settle, because I just can’t do any more, I don’t have more to give. So I’ll just stay with what I’m what I’m at. And that that really is a big obstacle, we, we our own obstacles sometimes when we come when that desire comes in. And sometimes the desire that comes in comes from something we’ve been yearning, the divine gives it to us. And when we start moving in that direction, we understand that, wow, this is actually going to take less time, this is actually going to solve for a lot of the other things that are taking up a lot of my time, you know, I can let go of all these other things so that I can have more time to do this. So we actually find that we have more flow, more ease that we’re actually more joyful by following our desires, and we’re not in that place of negativity or lack. Another obstacle that we have is thinking that, you know, I gotta, I gotta do keep doing what I’m doing, because I don’t want to upset my husband, or I don’t want to upset, you know, my family or friends or I don’t want my mom to get upset, or I get, I get to keep things as the status quo status quo. My boss wouldn’t know what to do without me. Right? My clients wouldn’t know what that kind of thing. So it’s trying to please other people and denying yourself your own desire to make everybody else happy. Because if I go do this thing, even if it takes an hour a week, right, well, now my kids gonna give me guilt. And then it’s like giving, you know, give feeding into the guilt that the kid like could give you or to the parent or any or the worry.
I remember when I was going a lot, you know, like full time in my Coaching business. I’ve been Coaching for about five years, on weekends. And you know, on at night, while I was a pharmaceutical rep. And I had a cushy job. I mean, in my mom’s eyes, I worked for a Biotech Company, I had a title, I was a sales training manager, I got a paycheck, a good paycheck every two weeks at an office that I went into, like she, she got it in her head that was stable. That was good, right? And when I told her, I said, Well, I’m quitting my job, and I’m starting my coaching business full time, she would like freaked out. And she couldn’t understand because first of all, she doesn’t understand law of attraction doesn’t get even to this day, what my philosophy of coaching is, doesn’t get why anybody would ever need a coach, she even to this day will say to me, Well, I’m a happy person, I don’t need a coach, right. And I’m like, like, she just doesn’t get it. And then, you know, online, I was one of the first people that had a full-blown online business, you know, 15 years ago. And so she didn’t understand we got you don’t go anywhere you’re at your house, like, so everything was so unknown to her, it made her really nervous. So every time I was building my business, and I would talk to her, she would be like, how’s it going, you know, like, with this really worried kind of energy, and I had to center myself, within myself of why I’m doing it, you know, the feeling and the connection with my own level of abundance, before I would talk to her or I would get influenced by her energy, I would start getting a little worried, like, Oh, my God, did I do the right thing, you know, especially if, during those days, you, when you’re building your business, you know, it wasn’t going like gangbusters right away.
And I would I would be influenced by her worry. And then I would find myself having to like to backtrack, after I get off the phone with her to try to center myself and not, you know, go grab a glass of wine, you know, to try to make myself feel better, right? So these are, these are some very common obstacles that we have. And if we really just allow ourselves to be in alignment and focus on what we do want, and what the benefit is of the desire and how we’re going to feel and the feeling of having it and surrendering all the how and the what and the who and all of that stuff to your divine life partner, and then take the action take the inspired action. I mean, that’s really how we fulfill our desires.
Casey McGuire Davidson 24:20
One question that came up for me as you were talking about the obstacle, and I can see this happening for a lot of the women I work with is, what if you have no idea what it is you actually want? Like what if you don’t have that specific vision of what you want, but you’re not going after? Because you are people pleasing or you’re thinking it’s, it’s too much work? Like what do you do when you’re just like, I’m generally frustrated and not that satisfied, but I don’t even know why.
A lot of people are so focused on what they don’t want that they don’t know what they do want and a lot of times, people have been disappointed along the road to trying to create a desire or a goal that they literally won’t allow themselves to desire anymore. So they’ve closed off that mechanism, right? It’s like, I’m just, I’m fine, I’m satisfied with what I have. And they don’t reach for more, because they’re afraid to be disappointed. Because what if they do? What if they put themselves out there? What if they start moving towards what if they take a risk? What if they take time away from their family, or what if they do all this inner work and it doesn’t pay off? They think that that disappointment of not attaining that desire would just crush them. And that’s something to understand is that if you feel this, if something doesn’t manifest exactly the way you want, there’s the feeling of disappointment, you just deal with the feeling the energy, the emotions, of the disappointment, you let it go, you process it, but who you become in the process of it.
I remember one of the stories I talked about the desire factor is there was a game show that I wanted to be on. And my family was like, Oh, my gosh, Mom, you got to you got to go on this game show, you’d be amazing at it. And I love the idea. So I got all lined with it. I worked with all the processes that I talked about in the book. And I auditioned. And they kept calling me back. And my husband and I were getting ready to actually go on the show as a team. And then all of a sudden, nothing happened. Well, working with this process, it was like I was flowing the energy towards this thing. And I you know, you could win a million dollars, right? So I’ve wanted like $100 million, because I rehearsed it so many times in my head. And so all of a sudden, nothing came of it. But the energy that was generated and created moved ahead of me and created many, many other opportunities that were well, well worth a million dollars or more. And so because that form because that exact thing that I thought needed to manifest didn’t manifest, there was a sense of disappointment and I processes I let it go. But I realized and remembered, and that’s why I talk about the desire factor book is that any energy generated, any energy generated from that process, energy doesn’t die, it moves ahead and creates other forms. So that’s where the surrendering piece comes in, is that I had to feel the disappointment, I have to let it go. And then look for, you know, other opportunities. I had.
Another time, it was, you know, six months or so ago, we were putting an offer on a house and wanting to move my mom and dad into a casita and having my family all come together. And we found this beautiful house and I started visualizing myself in the house, I started seeing, okay, which chat which room with the boys have and, you know, started becoming very real, I felt like I had it. And then while we were making an offer, someone came in with a cash offer, and they accepted their offer. And so it was this feeling of disappointment. So I just let the disappointment go, I process it, that’s what I help clients do with energy mastery. And then all of a sudden, I was like, wait a minute, I said it was that or something better. So if it’s not that it’s gonna be something better, and since then have manifested something 10 times even better. And so that’s the thing is, we have to understand is that the energy will flow to create with us and for us, we can’t be, you know, attached to what the form is. And if we do get attached with the form is surrender it because there is something better. So it’s really again, giving ourselves permission to be able to say, Okay, I know what I don’t want, if I don’t, what I don’t want, what do I want? What do I want? Why do I want it? How do I want to feel, and allow yourself to have permission to dream again and desired, even if there may be some disappointment along the way?
Yeah. I mean, one of my favorite quotes that I remember all the time is like, the idea that the universe only ever has three answers for you. You know, yes, not right now. Or Hold on. I’ve got something better for you. I love that. Yeah. I just always try to remember that. Well, so what is it? You know, I know, you said that. Sometimes people just stopped dreaming, they’ve stopped sort of looking for what they want. But when people do kind of ground themselves and are like, okay, I want to manifest my desires, what I want, what are the most common things that people do want? Like, is it something specific, like a house or a purse, or is it happiness, abundance? flow, you know, what do you usually see?
Well, a lot of times the secret desire that people have that a lot of times they won’t admit that they want is money. Because there’s a lot of stigma that goes with money. There’s a lot of meaning that we put on money and right and so if I was gonna say to you, kind of like I did with the purse, Casey, I have this goal to make another $100,000 this year, right? There might be maybe you wouldn’t, but somebody else might be like, well, that’s kind of or that’s just that’s so materialistic, right? And so there’s this wow, you know, oh, like Who do you think you are a cat Kardashian, or you know, there’s like a judgment on it, right. And when we have, we anticipate that others are going to judge us, for us, we don’t want to admit it. And a lot of times, we don’t want to admit it to ourselves. So everybody needs money, because that’s how it’s a medium of exchange is how we pay our electricity, electricity bills, right. So how we buy houses and food and the things that we need to live, we want to have, you know, savings so that we feel secure, we want to put our kids in, you know, good schools, and give them good food and let him play sports. And, you know, we all want to be abundant financially, because that’s our divine design. And so when we just give ourselves permission, go, Yeah, I do want to financially succeed, I do want to be financially independent. Now we’re allowing ourselves instead of resisting that, and then that can become a reality for us. But a lot of times we think, but if I become prosperous, if I become financially independent, people are going to take things from me, or they’re going to people or use me, or my friends aren’t gonna like me anymore, or that my friends are gonna be jealous, or there’s all these things that come with that inner desire to be financially abundant and independent, but so much that we superimpose on top of it.
So, in terms of holding us back, right, the internal saboteur that doesn’t even you don’t even realize is there. I mean, I think that that’s something that I see often with women who know they want to stop drinking, who, who are taking steps to stop drinking, they’re getting that sober momentum, and then you know, that inner voices whispering in their ear, but like your husband misses his drinking, buddy, your friends won’t want you around anymore. Like you won’t be as fun, you’re boring. You know, you’re bored, you’re boring. And that’s all that sort of unconscious pullback to what’s familiar, even though this you know, greater self and joy and happiness and more adventure is on the other side. But we’re so used to what’s comfortable or worried about what other people will think or stepping outside of what’s, you know, what’s the known I think sometimes we hold ourselves back without even realizing it.
And we do many times. Absolutely. And that’s just it is that when you feel yourself being pulled back, you’re in lac, you’re coming from an imprinted place, from a place that’s can conditions right, and not the greater part of who we are. Because all of us are divinely designed to be in well-being to have physical well-being our bodies know exactly what to do to be in alignment with well-being to heal our bodies. We are blueprinted divinely designed for abundance. And that includes all aspects of life, including financial support, love, patience, all that we are divinely designed to create, or creators, like co creating, whether it’s a podcast, or project or a book, or a business, or a family, or whatever it is we want to create. And it’s that creative flow that gets us going gets our juices flowing without a desire, nothing is birth. And when you have a desire, that’s when energy can flow. I mean, all of us are here, because there was a desire for us to be here, whether it’s because the plants and the stars or individually, your parents wanted to be together where they wanted to actually have a baby, they wanted to be together, they had sex, there was desire, right? And if they said, yeah, we want to create a baby from that there still was a desire to create a baby, I mean, all of us are here. Anything that manifest create is created because of that desire, we want to co-create, we want to succeed in those co creations. And we all want to have loving and supportive relationships, we want people around us, we want to be loved. And we want to love, and these are just the essential, you know, just like we are created to have two eyes, one nose, one mouth, you know, we are created as a divine design to have these aspects of our lives working.
Casey McGuire Davidson 34:08
So how do you keep whatever you know, say you tap into your desire and you overcome, you know, those things that hold us back? like someone’s gonna think I’m shallow, or this is too much? Or who am I or all those, all those things? And you sort of like, Okay, this is what, in my, you know, dreams I desire, then what, like, what do you do next to actually make it come true? Like, what are their steps?
Yeah, that’s this. That’s the 7-step process in the book that I talked about. So it’s kind of like a combination lock, you know, this, there’s one step goes in front of the other. It’s kind of like if you have three, three numbers and a combination, you don’t put one in front of the other, also one open, right. So it’s what the first thing we’re talking about is alignment means the principle of alignment because when you’re in alignment, you feel good and When you feel good, you have the ability to manifest. And when you don’t feel good, you might feel like I want this. But right, that’s having split energy, and it’s not having aligned energy. And so when you have that split energy, it’s like you have some energy going one way, some energy going another way. And then there’s no movement, there’s no creation, or it’s moves very, very slowly. But when all of you is in alignment with the thing, giving yourself permission, thinking the thoughts, speaking the words, you know, feeling how you want to feel into, then that moves you into the second principle, which is focus, we have free will and choice, right? We cannot not focus just like we cannot not think, right? And so it’s our ability on a daily basis to focus is something that we have to practice every single day, or what are we focused on what we don’t want, or we focused on what we do want. And then the next the next step is joyful expectancy is like, you know, instead of using our minds to expect the worst, and expect will not happen, what if we started to expect joyfully what we do want, and beyond what we can even expect, the universe has so much more potential, and avenues and ways and things beyond our own consciousness that we can’t even think about. But when we get into that mode, now we’re in alignment with it now we can get in, you know, vicinity of it, so that we can be surprised and delighted.
Casey McGuire Davidson 36:28
That makes a lot of sense. I, you know, I’m a huge person for vision boards. I know, not everyone is but, you know, when I was looking forward and actually sort of gearing up the courage to leave my corporate job, you know, I had a quote or two on there, one was by MLK Jr. That said, may your choices be be driven by your hopes, not your fears, and I had been staying out of, you know, wanting financial security and safety and in fearful about what would happen if I left versus focusing on all the benefits of doing something I loved. And not thinking that by doing something I loved, I would lose everything else that you know, supported the life I wanted to live.
Exactly, exactly. We’re talking about your focus was on not on the fear, but on the benefits. What would be, you know, what would you love? Yeah, you know, how would that feel and and, you know, focusing on the passion and the purpose instead of the fears holding you back. And, you know, I, again, worked for corporate America, too, and had success. But I, every day, I felt like I was passionless, and I felt like I had absolutely no sense of purpose in what I was doing, if I still won’t hold up more medication. Big deal. Right? It didn’t have much purpose for me. And so, you know, focusing on that, while I was in transition and moving, it’s like, I’m focused on who I’m going to become a following that calling that I have for purpose and passion, instead of just being stuck where I am, because I’m afraid that I’m not gonna have a paycheck.
Casey McGuire Davidson 38:05
Mm hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and I don’t know if we touched on this before, but you talked about the universal laws that each one of us needs to be aware of, or understand or know about, what are those?
So just like there’s gravity, right, you throw a ball up, it’s gonna come down, everybody knows there’s gravity. And it makes sense to know these laws, because you know, like, gravity, if you go the end of a building, and you walk past the building, or end of a mountain, you’re going to go splat. Well, they’re universal laws that govern all of creation. And some most people if they’ve heard of one of them, it’s law of attraction based on the secret, right? And I like to think of it as knowing the rules of the game. It’s like if you were going to go play baseball, and you never seen the game before. And your friend says, Let’s go play baseball. And she puts you on the mound and hands you a… or you know, the what’s it all the not the pitcher’s mound, but the batting or you for home plate. And he hands you a baseball, right and says, okay, that that person there is going to pitch you the ball, and all you have to do is hit it, right, you go to hit the ball, and then was yelling at you run right and you run to third base, you’re going to be out. So it makes sense that before you go and actually play the game, that you know what the rules are, right? And that way you could play it better.
It’s kind of like if you’re going to build a house, right? You don’t just go and start putting up walls, you have a plan, you know exactly what’s going to be happening. You’ve got to you’ve got the blueprint, right? You know what you’re going to be doing, and then you can fill it all in. And so the universal laws are like that. And when we understand that everything in the universe is based on quantum physics and modern science, that everything in the universe is energy, and that all energy carries a vibration. That vibration goes out into universe. In gathers more of itself. So if we’re sending out vibration of abundance, more evidence of abundance is coming our way, if we’re sending out more energy of fear, more things that we fear are coming our way. And so that’s based on law of attraction. That’s one of the most, you know, universal laws like a boomerang, what you send out in your energy comes back to you. So to understand that is that we are energy receivers, we’re always receiving an energy because we have trillions and trillions and trillions of cells in our bodies that all have, you know, there, have receptor sites, and they all need to be receiving in energies, what keeps us alive. And so we’re energy receivers, we need to contain that energy, we need to hold energy. And then we transmit energy, we transmit energy out by what we say, what we think, what we perceive, what we feel, and how we act what we do. And so, that’s our consciousness, and that our consciousness is what sends those energetic waves out into the universe and brings us more of the same. And so, there are 7 essential laws, and the one that I find that most people don’t know about and need to know about. Because it helps, you know, literally bring all of them together in one is a law of sufficiency and abundance. And we’ve been talking about that, right?
It’s like if it was a spectrum, if any subject could be money has a spectrum, lack on one side, abundance of the fulfillment of it on the other side, or relationship or, you know, a business or whatever it is, whatever subject, everything always has the spectrum on one side is what is lack always feels bad. That’s where the lower level emotions like worry, and fear and doubt and frustration, disappointment, irritation, anger, all those who are on the black side, we feel those emotions, because we’re thinking, we’re saying things that are in lack, and then we feel those emotions.
On the other side of the spectrum, is abundance is where passion and purpose and joy and abundance and prosperity and excitement and gratitude all of those good feeling emotions are on the other side. Well, there’s a tipping point in between going from lack to abundance, and that is, you know, satisfaction. That’s contentment, fulfillment. And when we’re there, we actually feel good, and it tips us into abundance. Now, let’s just say for example, money, right, someone is wanting to create more money, they have a desire to make more money, but they’re worried about money, they’re giving out a signal of worry of lack, and therefore they’re going to get more worried about they’re going to have more evidence where money is not coming to them. But if that person was to shift into being grateful for what they have right now, all the positive aspects of this now moment, and then get excited for what’s coming ahead, getting excited for the desire that they have for more money and why they want it and how they’re going to feel. Now they’re going to be in the realm of abundance. And when you’re focused on abundance, and you’re really vibrating from that place of abundance. Now the universe gives you more evidence of abundance.
And so is that just the internal thought work that you do every day, like the mini calibrations?
It is. Yeah, it’s all about our own personal freewill and choice of what we say what we think how we feel what we perceive and what we do. Because we can’t control anybody else’s consciousness only our own. And so when we become mindful of what are we saying, that’s in lack, and I’ll give you a perfect example, I actually created a 30 day free video programs called Watch your words, you could go to watch your words, calm to check it out. But every day you get a two to 3-minute video. And it tells you what word or phrase not to say why? And what to say instead. Because the power of our words, our words are once right. And they and the power of our words, starts the whole entire creation process.
So, I remember when we were all in lockdown. And I remember thinking to myself, wow, I really miss going on a date with my husband and I went Wait, no, Miss is one of those words when I say oh, I miss something. Right? My son, Alex said, I really miss going to school. Right? It makes us feel bad when we perceive and when we say Miss because now it pulls our energy and to lack, we don’t feel good. So immediately when I heard I say I miss going out for dinner. I went, Oh, you know what someday? I don’t know when the restaurants are going to open. There are great restaurants here in Scottsdale, where would I want to go? And now it became Hey, honey, when we go on a date or next time we get to go to a restaurant and restaurants open where would you want to go? And we started talking we started creating about the different restaurants and where we haven’t been or where we’d want to go and then it was like, oh, do, we want to do that with another couple? Just the two of us. Let’s do with another couple. Let’s go with Natalie and Tim and start creating this whole thing. And then it became what am I gonna wear? What she was like, you know, it became this whole creation, it opened up the energy versus I’m stuck. I can’t go anywhere I miss going out for dinner, you know.
Casey McGuire Davidson 45:18
Yeah, I mean, I did something similar, although I didn’t exactly know that I was doing it at the time where I was definitely feeling, you know, as we all do a year, 10 months into quarantine in lockdown. So I started making a list of everything I was excited to do once it was over. So like, I’ve never done acupuncture, I want to do acupuncture. And I like, looked up all the places that do acupuncture and started putting them on this list. And you know, all things like massages and travel and the people I wanted to get together with and the things I wanted to do, because it made me feel better. And because I was like, I’m going to focus on what is coming. And you know, believe that this is all here for a reason. I mean, my favorite question flip, which I feel like is on the same vibe of what you’re talking to is sort of trusting in the universe. So I always say like, don’t ask yourself, why is this happening to me? Ask how is this happening for me? Even if you don’t know why?
Yes? Yeah. It’s looking at everything as a gift. Even when something appears to be something you don’t want. There’s a gift there for you. I tease because I guess it talked with the council. And I’m like, I prefer diamond earrings. But you know, if I’m getting this gift of contrast, you know, what does it teach me? Yeah, and that, something like that, when I can say what is what is the gift in this? Because ultimately, if I’m feeling resistant about anything, and I can release that resistance, I can just surrender that resistance on the other end of it is freedom. And that’s the gift.
Casey McGuire Davidson 46:58
Yeah. When you’re saying that’s important, not just because you’re trying to look on the bright side or sort of being Pollyanna or whatever it is, it’s because it actually shifts your energy, which then brings more good stuff to you. Right? There’s a reason that this is important. Absolutely.
Yeah, it’s not just being a Pollyanna, like you said, there’s something to that, because we are all vibration, and we are the one that influences the vibration by what we send out. And if we’re attracting vibrationally, it makes sense that we are deliberate in what we send out. Otherwise, we’re going to just create things by default, we’re just going to get stuff that we’re not even aware we’re doing. And the fear that taking over because all of us feel fear, all of us fear doubt, all of this field, worry. I mean, these are just normal human emotions. But when they’re chronic, that’s when they create forms, right? When there’s a lot of momentum behind a vibration, that’s when a form is created on the opposite side to when you create a belief that the universe is abundant, and that you have what it takes to create your desires. And that the divine gave you these desires, and you get excited about it. Now you’re creating a beautiful flow of positive momentum. And the forms manifest themselves. Right. So we’re the one that influences that. And it’s I mean, the most important thing that we can do is pay attention to our energy. And the most important thing that we can do is become an energy master. If we master our own energy, we’ve mastered our world.
Casey McGuire Davidson 48:34
Yeah, I mean, I think that sort of the idea of figuring out what it is you want, and then somehow putting that out into the universe, whether you share it with someone, whether you write it down, whether you focus on it, you know, it allows like, thank you, even if things are out there anyway, it allows you to become aware of them to see them and recognize them when opportunities come forward for you. And actually to take a step, you know, towards them. Versus not.
Absolutely. And to tend to the split energy, if you start moving towards something that you desire, and then you start having doubts, to process the doubts, you can continue to move forward. I mean, you know, just because you’re excited about something and you have a desire for something and you’re moving towards it doesn’t mean you’re not going to have that voice that goes, are you sure, you know, what if this doesn’t work out, you know, and understanding that Oh, okay, there’s some energy inside of me I was not aware of because it’s formed itself into a thought it’s formed itself into an energy of worry, let me tend to that. It’s kind of like you have a garden and weeds pop up, right, you’re going to pull out the weeds tend to the garden. So that is still a beautiful garden. It’s the same concept here.
Casey McGuire Davidson 49:47
Well, what about the idea that like, desiring too much, right, that having desires is, you know, I’ve heard people say it’s evil or it’s the root of all suffering, like what’s your take on that?
Well, it’s interesting because like even the Buddhists will say, that desires are the root of all suffering. And it’s really interesting when you look at, you know, monks in general, they’re all about being in the moment, which is really great. Well, you’re a business owner or you’re a wife, you’ve got kids, you know, how many times during the day can you be in the moment? And it’s a great practice. But we as human beings that have a lot of balls in the air, right? We have to think about what’s, what are we going to have for dinner? Oh, does she have that project? Or he has that project going on? Or do they clean their clothes, their uniform cleaned, right? It’s like, there’s things that we have to think about. And our brains naturally work in a way that we cycled between the past the present and the future. And instead of trying to work against our thoughts, in the sense of how our mind works, and just try to be in the present moment, our mind will be literally going, Oh, yeah. What about dinner? Or, you know, what do we have yesterday, it’s cycling, it’s doing that. And so if we can just literally find that place of future visioning with positive expectations and clearing up any of the resistance from the past, it allows us to be in the present moment. And what desires allow us to do is to create, so when someone says, Oh, yeah, there’s a there’s a sense in that if you desire something, and you feel like you cannot create that desire, oh, yeah, you’re gonna suffer, because that doesn’t feel good to have to want something and then to believe you can’t have it. That’s suffering. But we’re the one that controls our beliefs. So if we desire something, and then we have that belief that comes up and says, Well, you can’t have it, we can go Well, yeah, I can. It came in from a higher source. And if the divine gave it to me, and wants to partner with me to have it, then I’m going to move in the direction of it, you can release the suffering.
Casey McGuire Davidson 51:54
This has been awesome. Christy, what’s one thing that you want people to take away from this conversation and from your Desire Factor book?
That alignment really is the key to everything because when we are aligned, we feel good when we are aligned, we manifest things that we want. When we are aligned, we are in a co creation place with the divine that wants to create desires through us and when we are feeling doubts and fears and worries and lack of any kind, we are out of alignment. And we are not living our full potential. We are feeling worse than we need to we are suffering when we don’t need to. We’re playing victim Cavin chaos and drama and struggle when we don’t need to when we have just literally a choice within our consciousness to be aligned and to flow with that alignment.
That’s awesome. Thank you so much in the show notes we will add your links to your website and your new book. But if anyone’s listening to this now and wants to get in touch with you, what’s the easiest way for them to do that?
I would go to watch your words calm and start that process. But you can go to Christy Whitman calm as well. Awesome.
Casey McGuire Davidson 53:03
Well, thank you so much for being here. I really appreciate it.
Thank you, Casey for all you do I know you’re helping a lot of women get off alcohol and you know really get into their full potential. So I appreciate what you’re doing.
Oh, thank you.
So thank you for coming on here. I couldn’t appreciate it more.
Thank you for listening to this episode of The Hello Someday Podcast. If you’re interested in learning more about me or the work I do or accessing free resources and guides to help you build a life you love without alcohol, please visit hellosomedaycoaching.com. And I would be so grateful if you would take a few minutes to rate and review this podcast so that more women can find it and join the conversation about drinking less and living more.
ABOUT THE HELLO SOMEDAY PODCAST
The Hello Someday Podcast helps busy and successful women build a life they love without alcohol. Host Casey McGuire Davidson, a certified life coach and creator of The Free 30 Day Guide to Quitting Drinking – 30 Tips For Your First Month Alcohol-Free, brings together her experience of quitting drinking while navigating work and motherhood, along with the voices of experts in personal development, self-care, addiction and recovery and self-improvement.
Whether you know you want to stop drinking and live an alcohol free life, are sober curious, or are in recovery this podcast is for you.
In each episode Casey will share the tried and true secrets of how to drink less and live more.
Learn how to let go of alcohol as a coping mechanism, how to shift your mindset about sobriety and change your drinking habits, how to create healthy routines to cope with anxiety, people pleasing and perfectionism, the importance of self-care in early sobriety, and why you don’t need to be an alcoholic to live an alcohol free life.
Be sure to grab the Free 30 Day Guide To Quitting Drinking right here.
Are you subscribed to my podcast? If you’re not, I want to encourage you to do that today. I don’t want you to miss an episode.
I’m adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the mix and if you’re not subscribed there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on those. Click here to subscribe in iTunes!
Now if you’re feeling extra loving, I would be really grateful if you left me a review over on iTunes, too. Those reviews help other people find my podcast and they’re also fun for me to go in and read. Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let me know what your favorite part of the podcast is. Thank you!