I Spent 7 Years Trying to Make Moderation Work: Sarena’s Alcohol-Free Story
Sarena tried it all: 30-, 60-, 90-day breaks. Weekends-only. Special-occasions-only. Wine to vodka to hard seltzers. A hard stop after a certain hour. “Just one or two.”
And every single time, the same thing happened: she’d feel amazing without alcohol, then talk herself right back into “figuring out how to drink normally this time.”
That cycle ran for seven years. No rock bottom, no dramatic moment — just years of taking breaks, feeling better, and going back.
Sarena is a longtime listener of The Hello Someday Podcast and a member of the Sobriety Starter Kit® community. In this episode, she shares what finally made her stop trying to make moderation work, what surprised her about the first few weeks alcohol-free, how she navigated Italy without drinking at less than a month alcohol-free, and what her life looks like now at one year.
The Core Question This Episode Answers
Why do I keep going back to drinking when I already know I feel better without alcohol?
This Episode Is For You If…
❇️ “I can stop drinking for a while. Why do I always end up going back?”
❇️ “Maybe I don’t need to quit—I just need to get better at moderating.”
❇️ “I know alcohol is affecting my sleep, anxiety and energy, but giving it up completely feels so final.”
❇️ “Who am I going to be if I’m not the fun one with the drinks?”
❇️ “I’m exhausted from thinking about drinking, not drinking, cutting back, starting over and trying to figure this out.”
What You’ll Learn in This Episode
✅ Why Sarena spent seven years trying to moderate her drinking before deciding alcohol wasn’t working for her anymore
✅ How trying weekends only, special occasions, drinking earlier and switching what she drank kept her stuck in the same cycle
✅ Why 3 a.m. wake-ups, anxiety, hot flashes and poor sleep became harder to ignore as she moved through midlife
✅ What happened the morning after two gin and tonics when Sarena finally thought, “What am I waiting for?”
✅ How she handled irritability, exhaustion and feeling emotionally raw during her first weeks without alcohol
✅ How support, daily accountability and learning to lower the bar helped her get through the moments when doing this alone felt overwhelming
✅ How Sarena navigated Italy alcohol-free in her first month, including wine tastings, social pressure, FOMO and moments when she desperately wanted a drink
The Shifts That Changed Everything
🌿 From “How can I keep alcohol?” to “How do I want to feel?”
For years, Sarena kept changing the rules—different drinks, different times, different amounts.
Eventually, the question changed.
Instead of continuing to ask how she could make alcohol fit into her life, she started paying attention to what alcohol was actually doing to her.
🌿 From believing alcohol created connection to finding connection without it
One of Sarena’s biggest fears was losing the version of herself who was fun, social and always ready with the margaritas.
But becoming alcohol-free didn’t take connection away. It helped her build deeper relationships with women who understood what she was going through—and discover that her husband didn’t need to experience sobriety the same way she did in order for her choice to be valid.
🌿 From focusing on what she was missing to noticing what she was getting
This became especially powerful during Sarena’s trip to Italy.
There were moments when skipping the wine tasting hurt. There were moments when she wanted the glass of wine sitting across from her.
But there were also sunsets over lavender fields, mornings without hangovers, an affogato crawl through Italy, and an entire trip with her sister she can actually remember.
🌿 From trying harder to trusting herself
At one year alcohol-free, one of Sarena’s biggest changes isn’t simply that she doesn’t drink.
It’s that she trusts herself.
She trusts herself to say yes. She trusts herself to say no. She trusts herself to follow through on the things she commits to. And she’s thinking less about what she’s giving up and more about the adventures, relationships and experiences she wants to say yes to next.
What I Want You To Remember
If you’ve spent years trying to make moderation work, that doesn’t mean you haven’t been trying hard enough.
Sometimes all of those rules—weekends only, special occasions, never drinking after 5 p.m., switching from wine to vodka, taking another 30-day break—keep you focused on one question:
How can I keep alcohol in my life without experiencing all the parts of drinking I hate?
Sarena eventually realized that no matter how she changed the rules, alcohol was still alcohol.
And once she stopped negotiating with it, she had space to build something different.
That doesn’t mean every alcohol-free first is easy. Sarena had difficult moments in Italy. Her first sober summer was challenging. Her husband still drinks. There are still triggers and situations she needs to prepare for.
But the firsts become seconds. The unfamiliar becomes familiar.
And it really does get easier.
Today, Sarena isn’t spending her energy trying to figure out how to drink differently. She’s trusting herself, showing up for the people she loves, saying yes to more of life’s adventures, honoring when she needs stillness, and figuring out what she wants this next chapter of her life to look like.
If you’re tired of going back and forth between “I need to stop” and “maybe I can moderate,” I hope you’ll listen to Sarena’s story.
You might recognize more of yourself in it than you expect.
🎧 Listen to the episode and hear how Sarena went from seven years of trying to make moderation work to celebrating one year alcohol-free.
📌 If You’re New Here
About me: I’m Casey McGuire Davidson, a sobriety and life coach for busy sober-curious women and host of The Hello Someday Podcast. Around here we talk stress, careers, kids, marriages—and how to build a life you don’t need to escape from.
If you’re ready for structure, tools, and a community that actually gets you, you’re in the right place. 💛
You’ve got this. And I’m right here with you. 💛
❤️ Ready to stop trying to find the “right” way to moderate your drinking?
One of the biggest takeaways from Serena’s story this week is that she spent seven years trying to make moderation work.
Weekends only.
Special occasions.
Taking 30, 60 or 90 days off.
Switching what she drank.
Not drinking after a certain time.
And every time she stopped, she noticed the same thing: she felt better without alcohol.
But eventually, the thought would creep back in:
Maybe I can figure out how to drink differently this time.
Inside The Sobriety Starter Kit®, you’ll find practical tools, step-by-step guidance, coaching, and support to help you:
✨ Quiet the constant mental negotiation about when, how much, or whether you’re going to drink
✨ Navigate cravings and thoughts like “maybe I can moderate this time” without automatically acting on them
✨ Get through the alcohol-free “firsts”—weekends, vacations, dinners, celebrations, and social situations—with more confidence
✨ Step out of the drink → regret → repeat cycle instead of creating another set of drinking rules
✨ Connect with a supportive community of women who understand how exhausting it is to keep trying to figure this out on your own
Because changing your relationship with alcohol isn’t about finally becoming better at moderation.
Sometimes it’s about asking a different question:
Instead of “How can I make drinking work?” what if you asked, “How do I actually feel when I’m not drinking?”
You don’t have to decide what you’re going to do about alcohol forever.
You can start by trusting what you’ve already learned from every break you’ve taken—and getting the tools and support to see what happens when you stop negotiating with alcohol.
➡️ Join The Sobriety Starter Kit® and let me support you as you step out of the drink → regret → repeat cycle, quiet the mental negotiation around alcohol, and build a life where you can trust yourself again.
More from the SSK Member Series:
🔗 Ep. 323: Life Without Alcohol Feels Better Than I Ever Expected: Trisha’s Story
🔗 Ep. 322: Wine Became My Reward, Escape & Emotional Support System: Katharine’s Story
🔗 Ep. 321: Being Single, Dating, Drinking And The Winding Road To Sobriety – Kim’s Story
🔗 Ep. 320: I Was Drinking a Bottle of Wine Every Night and Trying to Hold It All Together
🔗 Ep. 319: From Secret Drinking and Shame to 200 days Alcohol-Free
🔗 Ep. 318: I Had Everything Together Except My Drinking
🔗 Ep. 317: The “I’ll Start Again On Monday” Drinking Cycle – Jessica’s Story
🔗 Ep. 316: From ‘Couch Wine’ to 28 Months Alcohol-Free: Anna’s Story
🎧 If Sarena’s Story Resonated, Listen to These Episodes Next…
🔗 Ep. 263: Have You Tried To Moderate Your Drinking?
🔗 Ep. 124: Why Is Moderating Alcohol So Hard?
🔗 Ep. 200: How To Put Thoughts Of Moderating Alcohol On Pause
🔗 Ep. 328: Making the Decision to Get Sober Without Hitting Rock Bottom
🔗 Ep. 333: The 3 Stages of Relapse: How To Stop Yourself Before You Start Drinking Again
🔗 Ep. 272: How To Stop Romanticizing Drinking, Rewire Your Brain + Start Loving Sobriety
🔗 Ep. 217: Using Mindfulness Practices To Support Your Sobriety
🔗 Ep. 281: You Stopped Drinking…He Didn’t. How Sobriety Might Change Your Marriage
🔗 Ep. 327: Why Hanging Out With Women Who Have Quit Drinking Is The Best
🔗 Ep. 318: I Had Everything Together Except My Drinking
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ABOUT THE HELLO SOMEDAY PODCAST FOR SOBER CURIOUS WOMEN
Are you looking for the best sobriety podcast for women? The Hello Someday Podcast was created specifically for sober curious women and gray area drinkers ready to stop drinking, drink less and change their relationship with alcohol.
Host Casey McGuire Davidson, a certified life and sobriety coach and creator of The 30-Day Guide to Quitting Drinking and The Sobriety Starter Kit® Sober Coaching Course, brings together her experience of quitting drinking while navigating work and motherhood, along with the voices of experts in personal development, self-care, addiction and recovery and self-improvement.
Whether you know you want to stop drinking and live an alcohol-free life, are sober curious, or are in recovery this is the best sobriety podcast for you.
A Top 100 Mental Health Podcast, ranked in the top 1% of podcasts globally, The Hello Someday Podcast is the best sobriety podcast for women.
In each episode Casey will share the tried and true secrets of how to drink less and live more.
Learn how to let go of alcohol as a coping mechanism, how to shift your mindset about sobriety and change your drinking habits, how to create healthy routines to cope with anxiety, people pleasing and perfectionism, the importance of self-care in early sobriety, and why you don’t need to be an alcoholic to live an alcohol-free life.
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