How do you know when it’s time to question your relationship with Alcohol?
In this podcast interview with Fit Girl Magic – Healthy Living For Women Over 40 – we talk about what it looks like to realize that drinking is getting in the way of living your best life. And what you can do if that happens.
How do you know when it's time to question your relationship with Alcohol?
About this Fit Girl Magic Podcast Episode
Casey McGuire Davidson is a certified life coach specializing in helping women quit drinking and helps them create the lives they want and love without alcohol! As women, we talk about everything! From dieting, to weight loss, to new fitness routines, to going gluten and dairy free, but for some reason we never talk about alcohol as being a problem, and that is something we want to limit!
I have always talked to my clients about alcohol from a health and wellness perspective, but I have always wanted to have that conversation from a LIFE perspective as well. It is an important conversation and at the same time a very difficult conversation to have as well.
Drinking is a social thing, right? It is also a way to connect with people, it’s a way to cope, it becomes a habit, and for a lot of us, it’s a way of making life “easy”.. We also drink when we’re anxious, or when we are happy and need more, when we are bored, resentful, angry, OR quarantined to our homes for who knows how long like we are right now. BUT when you decide you want to stop it can feel like complete peer pressure when you are out with friends, everyone always asking, why aren’t you drinking? What is wrong with you?
Alcohol is seriously the ONLY DRUG that we have to justify taking! There is such a label when you stop drinking, if you didn’t drink, you’re either pregnant, you are boring, or you had a problem. There was no middle ground.
Modern life has really turned us into alcohol seekers, or “release seekers” would be the better term. Life is busy, jobs are demanding, you have kids, you have a demanding spouse, aging parents, or you are doing everything for everyone and not knowing how to simply say no, and alcohol becomes that pause button that you can press. We are always on the go and putting so much pressure on ourselves that the only way to relax and forget it all is to drink.
For Casey, drinking was part of her life for years. It was a nightly thing, it was a social thing, it was what she did but desperately did not want to shut it down! Finally, she had had enough of feeling tired, feeling anxious and just not reaching her weight loss goals after having kids that she had wanted to reach. She was willing to cut everything else out of her diet, except wine! So, she cut back to either twice a week drinking, or 2 glasses at a time but she still hated it. Casey was still waking up at 3 am with anxiety, and the next day a headache, eyes watery, and feeling less optimistic.
She felt like her life was so hard and her kids were irritating… But you know what happened when she stopped? When Casey stopped and got distance from drinking daily, she felt content, her life was good, and her kids weren’t that difficult! And she finally realized that alcohol was what was making every day of her life harder than it really was.
As a Coach, Casey works with women who have decided that alcohol isn’t working for them anymore or right now. She helps you figure out that you have to step back and give yourself a chance to know how good you can feel with some time away from drinking. Start with 4 days, then 7 days, then 2 weeks. And then they move on to setting another goal for 100 days! And yes, it can sound crazy, but 100 days is possible!
If they are thinking “I am stuck, I cannot achieve my goals, I’ve done this on my own and I cannot make this shift.” But you are also that girl that needs her wine. You have to look at what it is that you are doing that could be stopping you from hitting those goals. And drinking may be that very thing that is holding you back, and not letting you live your life the way you want to. And when it comes to trying to stop, you have to just stop completely, you cannot just limit your alcohol because in the long run that will not work.
“If you’re controlling your drinking, you’re not enjoying it. If you’re enjoying your drinking, you’re not controlling it.”
So why 100-day goals? Why does Casey set this for her clients who are struggling with alcohol and wanting to remove it from their lives?
- This takes longer than 30 days to work on. The first 30 days are tripping, falling and stumbling.
- The next 30 days you are figuring out what went to the right and what didn’t work, so you can figure out what is working for you or not!
- 30 days after that and you are starting to feel that ya know what, I am feeling okay!
- And of course, 100 days, you have just proven to yourself that YOU CAN DO IT and you got this! It takes that time to start really feeling good, feeling capable and proud of yourself!
When you stop drinking you should feel like it’s the kindest thing you can do for yourself. Then you need to treat yourself and take care of YOU versus numbing out to tolerate your life. When Casey quit drinking, she saved $550 in the first month alone! WHAT?? Use that money and DO SOMETHING FOR YOURSELF! Treat yourself and feel proud of your accomplishments.
“My life is so much bigger since I stopped drinking and overcame that fear.”- Casey.
She doesn’t like to use the term alcoholic. Whether it is functioning alcoholic or alcoholic. It’s a label that has a lot of negative connotations and it doesn’t add value. But she did say that she used to drink a lot. It wasn’t good for her. It’s an addictive substance. She stopped, and now she feels a hell of a lot better! But if you are able to function around this addiction, yes you may be able to drink and function, it still doesn’t give you the licensing to say nothing is wrong or that you need help. JUST KNOW that nothing is wrong with YOU and you are NOT ALONE! Nobody talks about it, but there are thousands and thousands of doctors and nurses and lawyers and stay at home moms and really successful people who are waking up with a hangover every SINGLE day, I promise you that!! This is a slippery slope and it is not your fault!!
How do you approach someone about this? Or if someone approaches you to confide in you about their problem, how do you talk to them about it?
Say something WITH LOVE. “How do you feel, what is this bringing to your life. ”.. OR “I know you think you need it; I know you think you love it, but is there something else that could be more for you?” And in the same aspect, if someone says, “I am worried about my drinking, I think I have a problem, or I think I drink too much”, don’t dismiss it! Ask questions, take that chance to talk to them about it. THIS IS SO HARD FOR THEM TO COME OUT AND SAY SOMETHING. So just be respectful and come from a place of love. AND if this is you needing to go to someone to talk to them about your drinking, expect to have the same courtesy that you would give someone. You should expect that same level of love towards you as well.
There are SO many resources out there now where you can get help and where you can get tips or talk to someone. On Casey’s website, she has tons of guides to help you. The one being Sober Girls Guide to Quit Drinking which consists of 30 tips for your first 30 days. She tells you what to expect on day 4, day 7, and so on, podcasts and books that are centered around women that are empowering, exciting and can also be extremely helpful! How to talk to your friends, spouse, family, and co-workers about what is going on and what you are doing, and how to get support from them as well.
YOU DESERVE BETTER! I know you don’t believe me when I am saying this, but you are going to be so much happier, healthier, feel better, and be able to move forward in your life. AND be that woman that says straight up NO to things that you know will push you over the edge, or completely overwhelm you and take you away from your day and your focus and your happiness, and know that you can put up boundaries, without sounding like a total bitch! REMEMBER, No is a complete sentence….
For Casey, when she admitted she had a problem with alcohol, everything else got easier. Her anxiety went away, her depression went away, the ability to stay with weight loss and stay working out got easier and taking joy in her relationships got easier as well. If you are feeling this way and have a fixation with alcohol, just try and experiment with it and try setting a goal to stop. You will be surprised and amazing at the areas of your life that will get better.
If you are thinking like, maybe I should really think about this, download her 30-day program and take on those 30 days, and the 30-day mini challenge! Or contact Casey directly! There are no labels! Don’t feel like you have created a label. Your choice is you choose not to drink. That is your label!!
If we don’t ask ourselves the honest questions… NO ONE WILL! They are hard, but we will live a better life for having asked them!
What is one thing that makes you feel magical Casey?
Not drinking… sobriety is the foundation for everything I want in my life. Even if you have a bad day, even if you are really frustrated or aggravated, joy always comes in the morning. Waking up and smelling the coffee. Every morning waking up, not having that 3 am dread and feeling like crap, it is amazing, and I am grateful.
Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/FabFitSquad
Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/fitgirlmagic/
In the guide to quitting drinking you’ll find 30 Tips for your first 30 Days, support, resources, and links to podcasts and online resources that you can access at no cost.
Quitting drinking is hard to do on your own, and it’s easier and more joyful with support and connections with other people who get it.
And I hope as you listen to this audio recording you’ll know that you’re not alone, and that there is nothing wrong with you.
Once you start this process, I hope you’ll begin to think of quitting drinking as the ultimate act of self care.
And if you’re interested in one-on-one support, guidance, accountability and resources through private coaching, I’d love to talk to you.
Contact me for a free 30-Minute Discovery Call. No pressure. We can chat to see if coaching is a good fit for you.
About The Author
I’m Casey McGuire Davidson, a certified life coach who works with successful women who are ready to get out of overwhelm and create lives they love.
I also work with women who are reevaluating their relationship with alcohol and have decided that drinking isn’t working in their lives anymore.
You can find more about my work and private coaching, as well as additional support resources at hellosomedaycoaching.com.